Nayati's shame was a bile he could taste at the back of his throat. This war had started because of him. He had brought this down upon Crimson Dreams, and he hated himself for it. After the raid, and the unsuccessful parley with Maska and his goons, Nayati had gone to the raven leader of these lands and offered to turn himself over in hopes of Anu's safe return and for the conflict to end before any more blood need be shed. Savina had denied his offer. Even though he had helped to save her the night of the raid—and it was clear she knew it—he had a feeling it was truly her loyalty to Anu that drove her to keep him and his family safe. It seemed to the Utina he could see the fear that she might be fulfilling her friend's last wish, even though she hid it well as any good leader would. Little as he knew her, he had come to greatly respect the Dreaming alpha. That only made the guilt burn worse in his gut.
He was doing what he could to help the pack that had given his family sanctuary by keeping an eye on the borders and bringing in food whenever he could catch it, however he also made a conscious effort to avoid running into any of the members of these lands. Surely not all of them shared their leader's belief that the Utinas were worth protecting in exchange for their own safety and he could not blame them if they did hold such an opinion. Nayati did not want to cause any more pain and trouble than he already had. It would only increase the burning shame in him.
The exiled hunter stopped at the eastern bank of the river his tribe had used to launch their attack from and he stared off to the west. The desire to simply leave and turn himself in to Maska overcame him once again. It was clear Savina would never ask him to do that thing, but perhaps it would be best for everyone else if he did. Maybe the Ahote would even forget Liliana and his children if they did that, and they could all stop living in constant fear. The man's heart pounded in his ears as he contemplated becoming a sacrificial lamb.
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