He wondered what it was like to be a father.
Truth be told, he’d felt no rush of emotion or excitement when his three (known) blood children were born. Certainly, he’d feigned it for Keli - as he had done for most of their relationship – but he had known no joy, experienced no life changing rearrangement of priorities. It had simply been an arrival of new life, and Shandom had accepted it as fact and moved on with his day. The children, in his eyes, were no more than a brutal reminder of what he’d lost, what he would never be able to have again. Days that stretched into weeks that morphed into months just made him all the more bitter towards the brown and white mottled pups; he supposed, in retrospect, they noticed as they grew older and more coherent of their surroundings. If not for the dream, Shandom would not lend much consideration to the three Qi’Vaex children that he supposed were alive somewhere. It was unusual he thought of them.
Naturally, his pondering was ruined and he was given a viable heart attack by a child leaping out of a pile of leaves. In a most undignified fashion, the Optime male leapt about seventy feet in the air (or so it felt like), making a most undignified yelping sound as he did so. Fur bristled, hackles raised, Shandom whirled towards the source of the “BOO!”, prepared to fight if at all necessary. Of course, this was all for naught, as the sudden jumping apparition took the form of a young girl, obviously not even quite at the yearling point. Her face was glowing with excitement, and the nervous male tried to still the racing of his nervous heart in order to not alienate his young packmate. Nevertheless, he could not help but feel that running into a child was karma for thinking…not ill, but not well… about his own children. Still, he plastered a nervous, appeasing smile on his face and raised a paw to his heart. You frightened me, little one! he exclaimed. I did not see you in those leaves.
The female would be lovely when she grew older, but the innocent aura of youth still glowed around her. Her fur was a motley assortment of many colors, and she seemed easy going enough; Shandom assumed she meant no harm. Still, when he looked at children, he could not help but be brought back to awful memories he did not wish to recall. Blood, staining the forest ground… Screams, piercing the morning air before they were permenantly stifled… All this reminded him of what he created that fateful morning. This little girl, this little definition of childhood innocence, reminded him of everything he lost; everything he could never had. It took all of his mostly good nature not to despise her on the spot and run her off. Inhaling deeply, the man widened his smile; he hoped it was friendly. Little Miss Robin, my name is Shandom Qi’Vaex-Nightslayer. I am a relative newcomer here, and I was simply enjoying my morning stroll before you interrupted it. Was surprising an unsuspecting wanderer your intention, my dear? His voice was easy and relaxed the more he spoke, and Shandom relaxed a bit. Still, though… Too many thoughts of Kora. Too many thoughts of Xyvi.
Too many thoughts of Lea.
