06-26-2008, 02:50 PM
Deuce remained at naniko's side unwavering. I understand, naniko. Lucifer and I did the same thing with the pups I miscarried the same day we found Shadow.... She understood totally how naniko felt, down the the anger at herself. "I love them. Even though I never knew them...I love them with all my heart." Deuce nodded, feeling a sympathetic twinge in her own womb. I know, naniko, i know.
I want to go home... Deuce understood. She'd give anything to close her eyes and wake up back in Syemv, before the coyotes, before the merger. Before Akumu had ejected her from Syemv. She wanted to wake up and gaze into Soran's smiling face, hearing Dierdre and Conri playing outside the bedroom. "I'm going to bury them next to Physe...in my lands of birth." Deuce hugged her then, kneeling at her side.
"I know it hurts, naniko. But running away won't solve it. Returning to someplace that would be a certain death for you won't bring them back. You can't punish yourself for their deaths, Naniko. What you can do is heal so you and Conri can try again, and succeed. Just because you lost one litter doesn't mean you will lose another. Please trust me on this. I know so very well. I've lost so many puppies....and yet, Noah and Taliesin were both born fine. They were the only litter I had where all the pups survived. I used to berate myself that none of the others lived. But you can't do that. You can't blame yourself." She grabbed nanik's chin rather harshly, making the younger woman look into her bi-colored eyes. "Do you understand me, naniko?"
I want to go home... Deuce understood. She'd give anything to close her eyes and wake up back in Syemv, before the coyotes, before the merger. Before Akumu had ejected her from Syemv. She wanted to wake up and gaze into Soran's smiling face, hearing Dierdre and Conri playing outside the bedroom. "I'm going to bury them next to Physe...in my lands of birth." Deuce hugged her then, kneeling at her side.
"I know it hurts, naniko. But running away won't solve it. Returning to someplace that would be a certain death for you won't bring them back. You can't punish yourself for their deaths, Naniko. What you can do is heal so you and Conri can try again, and succeed. Just because you lost one litter doesn't mean you will lose another. Please trust me on this. I know so very well. I've lost so many puppies....and yet, Noah and Taliesin were both born fine. They were the only litter I had where all the pups survived. I used to berate myself that none of the others lived. But you can't do that. You can't blame yourself." She grabbed nanik's chin rather harshly, making the younger woman look into her bi-colored eyes. "Do you understand me, naniko?"