inaniloquent

Shandom Qi'Vaex · 12-16-2011, 12:24 AM

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OOC James

Most of it is useless rambling but... Yeah. Sometimes that happens. xD / +679

If he could, he would have let her go.

He did not have suicidal thoughts - Shandom wasn't that kind of wolf. But sometimes, living in an absence of love was burdensome on the scarred man. Shandom knew that all the wolves he treasured as a child, the family and friends he had back home, saw him as nothing more than a vicious, vengeful murderer with severe mental imbalances. On occasion, he wondered if the Etient wolves ever found out what really happened to Xyvi and Kora Dy'Nix that morning. Shandom could not help but assume they did - Lea would not have left without rubbing into their faces that it was their assumptions that created the monster she'd become.

The memory of the midnight female haunted his every step. Sometimes, in the brief and amazing moments between sleep and reality, Shandom thought he felt her next to him, breathing deeply and serenely as she had so many times before. He would have given anything and betrayed anyone for one more chance to wake next to his regal sister; she was, to this day, his heart and soul. Shandom lived in a perpetual state of denial, unwilling and unable to admit to himself the monster his sister had become. Somewhere within her dark and shriveled soul, he believed, lay the female he grew up with, the elegant female who would sit as his side as the Alphess of Etienne. And what an Alphess she would have been! If it could have been channeled for the betterment of wolves, Linquilea's enigmatic power would have been one for the ages. Legends, wonderful instead of terrible, would have been passed down among their people, and they would have grown happy and old together.

He imagined she was not as young and compelling as she once was. The inevitable curse of time had certainly stricken him; Shandom could still be called handsome, but it was certainly an older variety, a more rugged and dangerous breed of cat. But Shandom could not imagine a world where Linquilea Yae was not strikingly beautiful. Without a doubt, she would be different; older. But in his mind this only enhanced her beauty, making her even more regal than before. Shandom supposed this was one of the dangers of Lea, what made her such a potent enemy at home. If a wolf did not know her, and could bring themselves to overcome the initial shock of her monstrous size, they would realize that Lea was disturbingly beautiful.

These were the thoughts that dominated Shandom Qi'Vaex-Nightslayer's mind as he explored the Northern lands. In his haste to get as far north as possible, the male hadn't acquainted himself particularly well with the area. Now, he'd ventured slightly further south, moving like a ghost over the snowy lands. So far, he had come across no-one; he liked it that way. The serenity of his journey gave his mind time to roam, time to daydream that Lea were at his side, laughing and concocting adventures and plans as they once did. He wondered, as he walked, whether or not the female would ever find it within herself to forgive him. Shandom knew it was an unlikely and fanciful dream; Lea had always been the type to hold grudges, and he had given her the biggest grudge of all. If he had only kept his jealousy intact, perhaps proven that hew as a better choice than Jax... Then the intruder and his spawn would have been banished, and they could have had a family, a true, wonderful, incredible family...

Naturally, daydreaming like this only got the scarred male into trouble. In an unfortunate twist of fate, Shandom managed to disrupt the natural balance Nature had created for snow and rock, and placed his left hind paw in precisely the wrong spot. Somehow, these two elements collapsed upon each other to create a trap of sorts underneath a particularly large tree root, effectively imprisoning the now swearing male. Fanfuckingtastic he growled in a rather undignified fashion, and went about attempting to free his foot.

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