eff' that, i'll take fifty!

[Anselm de le Poer]

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-- Real or imagined, Anselm felt a connection with this girl that was unlike anything he'd ever experienced with anybody else in the past. It certainly wasn't deep, but it seemed to be more involved than mere physical attraction--the sole driving force behind erotic encounters of his in the past. Instead, it had to do with the circumstances. It had to do with the lack of questions, the acceptance of this mystical encounter as simply that, and the comfort despite being so vulnerable in the presence of a stranger. For him, it also had to do with the escape and the defiant nature of the drugs. They were something made by man, they clouded the mind, and even to him they seemed like forbidden territory. The way she moved and taunted him was also delightful; that was another way this encounter deviated from the norm. Usually he was in control and it was a much different experience submitting to someone else's desires and whims as opposed to his own. Perhaps he'd be frustrated by such a thing in another time or place, but for now he basked in it. He took it for all that it was worth, if only because he didn't know that something like this would ever happen again. Just when he thought she was going too far, she'd offer relief and pleasure. It was a game that he quickly learned to enjoy. Even once everything was over, he found himself comforted by her warmth against his side. He knew that the drugs would still be in effect for a number of hours, persistent in keeping his mind awake. That didn't mean he'd feel anxious or any less content, however. One hand lightly toyed with the fur along her side as they lay on the couch; the touch was gentle and a silent way of thanking her. This retreat from reality, from the war, from his own mind... it was exactly what he had needed, and it certainly wouldn't have been the same without her. He didn't know when they would part ways or if they'd ever see each other again, but that was what made the present all the more remarkable and worthy of being cherished.

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