And if I'm flying solo...At least I'm flying free

Wretch D'Angelo · 01-09-2012, 05:59 PM

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WC:1,477 >_>

The girl needed to learn how to live on her own...needed it more than anything else. Her entire life had spent locked up in a cage; she had been treated as if she were a fragile flower that would wilt if it got too much sunlight, kept inside as she had healed up from her emotional and physical scars. Those days spent alone had affected her deeply, disturbed her even at times. It wasn't normal for a canine to spend so much time by themselves...they needed interaction. She had needed it. Wretch had not known it at the time, but being around others was one of the most important things. Life was about building relationships with others and working together to make the best out of things no matter what situation. She was a pack canine and would always be one...but this was a part of her life that she needed to get through, with the help of Tawny. She wanted to be more normal, to be like everyone else...so she needed to experience what the world was really like out there. Find things out for herself and make all new experiences with new and different people that she came across by herself. In some ways she felt the same as before, the same scared little girl that had woken up on the beaches of Dahlia, but in other ways she felt that she had done a complete 180. Her personality was much the same, but some of her social anxiety was lifting as she met new and different types of canines. She was trying to push herself more to be more social and to interact in different ways with others than she ever had before.

Her main problem had always been that she didn't know what to say or do in some situations. She was beginning to learn that sometimes everyone felt that way and that she just needed to push through and make a decision, one way or the other. She would make mistakes and she was not perfect, but that was just a part of life. Tawny was helping to teach her these lessons, along with other ones that she could not have learned in other places. When she was around Tawny she felt different than when she was with anyone else. Wretch couldn't put her finger on what the feeling was, exactly, but even a simple touch from the other female sent sparks through her and set her heart beating more quickly than ever. Wretch didn't have a mother to explain such things to her, and Saul hadn't given her much of an explanation when she had inquired about things like that in the past. Perhaps it had brought up bad memories for him, because he hadn't had a love interest while she'd been growing up until Siku had come along...and perhaps her father-figure didn't have much experience with things like that, anyway. Not enough to share with his daughter, whether she needed the lesson badly or not. Jace had helped to clear up some of her questions about being in a mateship and what that meant, but until she actually experienced something like that she would probably not know for sure what bits of advice would apply to her and what wouldn't. Every relationship was different. Siku had left Saul and then she'd come back for a short while...but Wretch didn't smell her around and had assumed that she was gone, too. Maybe she was the real reason behind why Saul had left.

There were times when Wretch wondered how different she would be if she had grown up with her actual family and had gone to live in Salsola. She felt that the root of most of her anxieties had to do with the fact that she had been raised without many others around, and that she hadn't been able to be very mobile as a pup. If she had been able to get out of the house more and explore like other pups did, she would probably have met many other canines in and out of the pack and would possibly have gained more confidence. Instead, she had grown up in a secluded cabin far from the rest of the pack and then in a bedroom where she'd had more privacy than she could ever need. She had learned to enjoy being alone and had made up her own games to play with herself and the creatures that she occasionally found, but would she have been different if she'd not been injured and if she had grown up around other canines? Salsola seemed to be a very interesting pack to her...would she have been more like Salvia or Pandemic if she'd gone with them, rather than the socially awkward, anxious creature that she currently was? She wasn't sure how things would have been different. She would have had a mother and a father...maybe that would have helped things. Saul had been as good of a parent as he could be, under the circumstances. He'd been an unmated male who had little to no experience with children. What more could she expect out of him? He'd loved her unconditionally and had been good to her.

She was interested in hearing the news of the pack whether she agreed with the leadership or not. Wretch felt as if they did not do enough to protect their members from harm, and wondered if basic self-defense was something that ought to be taught to each and every member should they want such a lesson. She would have taken it, if she had been healed. She should have known that Saul wouldn't be back; Wretch had made the right decision in leaving the pack after all. She didn't know what her father's reason was for leaving them all behind like he had...but she had hoped to at least be able to say she was sorry for running off or to tell him goodbye. It saddened her that he wasn't around for that, but at the same time she could understand a canine's need to get away and branch off. "She's OK? I..are they my uncle's pups, or no?" She asked curiously. If Gideon's ex-mate had given birth to his pups, he would probably want to know. Too bad that he was nowhere to be found either, though.

The girl was glad to hear that Jace's pups had all been born without incident. "That's great, Jace"She had heard that the birthing process was rather dangerous and that mothers could even die if things didn't go right, so she had worried a bit for the multicolored canine's health over the last few months. Wretch had no interest in having pups of her own any time soon (if ever), but it was fun enough to watch someone elses' temporarily. It seemed that the litter had a nice mix in coloration to it, that some looked like Jace and some like Temo. Wretch had discovered that she looked nothing like her mother except in build...but she had yet to meet Larkspur, her father. "I found my real family, Jace. I didn't tell anyone else yet except for Tawny. But they live in Salsola. I have a mother, sister, brother, and even a father...along with a new litter that was born not too long ago. I hope they'll let me visit them more. But for now, I want to continue being a loner." She explained.

The fact that Jace was willing to defend her against an outside attacker despite her not being a part of the pack any more made her smile. So Jace really did care about her, at least a bit. Wretch had trouble knowing who did and who didn't any more, what with Saul taking off. She supposed that true friends were those who stuck with you and were there for you no matter what, though. Jace was a really good friend. "I had to fight my way out of two of them - they were coyote mixes, each one. The second time I was more prepared than the first. He spoke to me for a little while and gained my trust before attacking. I don't know what his motive was..but a few slashes across his face with my knife and he was out of there. I guess he didn't expect a girl to be armed with anything." Wretch didn't know about some types of assaults, including sexual ones - she had never been exposed to it before. "I really hurt the first one, though. I wasn't expecting it and he jumped me...I really, really hurt him." She came close to admitting that she had killed him, but backed away from the subject. Wretch was afraid of what Jace might think. Protecting one's friends was one thing...but protecting someone who had murdered someone was something else entirely.

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