Neela snorted in amusement when Tony asked if she wanted him to carry her, not taking the offer seriously and responding with a gentle dig to the ribs with her elbow. "Nah, think I'll walk thanks, tempting as my own personal wolfhorse might be." Neela grinned to show she was joking.
This was nice, sitting her with Tony and talking. It was almost enough for her to forget her earlier upset, forgot Leon… No! Neela scolded herself, Don’t think about him, concentrate on Tony. Neela did just that, returning her focus to Tony in time to hear him confirm that he didn’t have anywhere in particular he needed to be. Neela was about to reply when a sharp pain in her hands cut her off.
Confused Neela looked down, eyes widening slightly when she saw her hands. While her mind felt relaxed her hands were balled tightly into fists, deep furrows cut into the fine fur on her palm where her claws had cut deep furrows through the skin. All of a sudden Neela was aware that her entire body was tensed up, muscles as hard as rocks, and thoughts of Leon flooded back into her mind.
Despair shot through Neela once more, why wasn't it working? Anger was something she struggled with but normally she could handle sadness, suppressing it with other emotions or by keeping busy. But this time it wasn't working, the torrent of emotions that Leon's birthday had dragged up refusing to be blocked out and battering down her mental defences. While she didn’t realise it Neela spent an entire minute staring at her bloodied palms, missing Tony's entire explanation of Milite as she battled with her own emotions
Ears flat against her skull Neela burrowed her head between Tony's arm and chest, whimpering quietly, "I want to go home." Neela whispered, saying one thing and meaning another. It wasn't Ichika that Neela meant when she said home but she knew that returning there was a dream that could never happen. Still she did need to get back to Ichika and hopefully the fish that she had already gathered, hanging in a leather bag strung from a tree, safe from Neela's rampage along with her belt, would be enough for Grynn and the chicks.
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