Petite hands placed themselves upon slender hips, a cynical expression feathering her features. Selene had found the pool long ago, and there was some time for hygiene at that time. It had been days since a normal bath, the coydog felt she was fairly deserving. Her mind wouldn't leave Hadley, however much she wanted to forget about things. Wishing that Isa had never gotten involved...Even at times wishing that the whole romance hadn't happened. Or her feelings wouldn't be so smashed. There was no guarantee that he would want her. Not after her talk with Isa. It was the whole thing that sparked her temporary leave from Casa. It simply wasn't home anymore. With facing the fact that she was seeing the face of the other that wanted her beloved. To think every day that it would be a battle, to contest the fact that she wasn't pretty enough. Or even remotely anything. She hadn't realized the small tears that had watered her eyes. Yes. Another message and reminder of her inadequacy. Maybe the whole thing should be called off. Maybe this was nothing but heartbreak and confusion. If there'd ever be a day that Hadley would be there to reassure her that it was just her...That they would just be together. That day seemed to never come. And maybe it was not. Sel was not deserving of him. Ismeme was. Not her.
Slipping off the clothing Amy had given her, Sel waded into the cold water. However much she hated the briskly water, it was a distraction. Just like her dagger, just like her nails digging so slightly into her palm. It was not to be denied easily, Ismeme had ruined, or changed her life. No one was to be trusted, yet another note of her lack of quality. That she could be so easily broken. It was weak. Realizing that, the coydog snarled softly to herself. How could she be crying about something like this? If Hadley didn't want her, there would be someone else right? No. Maybe not. The water had become so inviting...So cool and pristine. It cleansed her fur, the scent of Amy and everyone else in the wagon washed clean away. Amy was going to make her better. Stronger and more clever. Harden her soul to keep those emotions away. Pain would be nothing. It would not sting, or fester as most wounds did. And if not for Hadley, for herself. Maybe he didn't love her anymore. Forgotten about all that in his time away. Selene shivered softly and removed herself from the pool, she had dropped a blanket nearby, to wrap herself in after. Red eyes found it easily, scooping it up and wrapping itself around her cold body. On the water's edge, Sel sat quietly. There was still feelings for Hadley. Strong ones at that. Unfortunately, Ismeme was better. And deserved Hadley more. Hadley needed someone better. Not the awkward lump of shit she was turning out to be.
Black hands reached out as if to attempt to grasp something precious from the open air, fingers finding nothing but empty air in her midst. Maybe she was going mad. Another to add to her list of faults. They overdid her better qualities by far. And at that, Sel began to sob quietly into her palms. Even Amy couldn't shape her up. Maybe--Maybe the world would be better off without her taking up unneeded space.
434 +3Sel=awkward <.<
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