Both of them could see, and hear, the change in their breathing, the sharpened sense of urgency to which they met with their tongues. It took every ounce of self control to stay where he was, to remain outside of her hut rather than pushing her seductively back and into the confines of the den. Instead, he allowed his fingers to curl protectively into her curls, claws just resting against her scalp where he occasionally caressed her head. The hand that had remained at her waist had moved to the curve of her hip, once again curling around the bone there, hard and tense where he tried so hard to convince himself to stay where he was. To be satisfied with this one kiss. Of course, he knew that in a million years he would never be satisfied by just one kiss from her- he could feel her pulling him back in each time one of them surfaced for a gasp of air, the desire and want burning through both of them until they were nothing but a pile of ash on the floor. Drawing air in through his nose to try and get some oxygen, their fast breathing coupled with the soft moans and groans coming from both of them nearly undid him.
His name on her lips, stuttered in such a way, made him pause however, green eyes fluttering open. They were clouded, unfocused and dark with lust, but as he saw her turn her head away, his stomach dropped, a dizzying wave of nausea hitting him. She'd turned away from him. He could see her eyes from this vantage point, turning from sheer bliss to something that looked like shame. Another punch to the gut, Saul allowed his arms to drop feebly to his side. He didn't know what to do to make this situation better- one of the best moments of his life so far, shattered and stained by her rejection now. He sucked in a ragged breath as her mouthed moved- he almost couldn't hear what she was saying, but he got the general jist before she turned and disappeared into her hut. There was an unspoken barrier- while he hadn't needed permission to enter her room back in Hilsburn, he certainly didn't have any permission to walk into her hut. So he stood there for a few moments, green eyes confused and hurt.
"I'm not sorry."
He whispered softly, glancing down at his hands before forcing his limbs to move. He was glad for the company Temeraire and Elias provided- it would keep him from falling apart, overthinking what had just happened and trying to figure out where it went wrong, what caused Lilin to back off and run from him. With a deep sigh, he shifted down into his lupus form before entering the den, curling up behind the boys and burying himself deep in the furs that served as their bed. Despite the turmoil raging in his mind, the alcohol was quick to claim its victim and within a few short moments, he was fast asleep, dreaming about her.
-exit saul and lilin-
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