Coli could bear no ill will towards Saul for giving her such grisly tidings; he was the very picture of dejection, waiting patiently for her to come back out of her shell so that he could try to cheer her again. He was too kind, for she was a complete stranger to him. For all he knew, this heartache was something she deserved. Conor was one of the very few rays of light that could pierce the gloom she carried within her, and now he had been slain. Anu was another, her beloved, and that love had been torn from her as well through her own folly. It was difficult not to see misfortune as methodical, systematically removing whatever she became attached to. Her grieving, twisted logic told her she should no longer form any attachments at all, live only for herself, and then she would finally be safe.
Then Saul offered her another option, a generous and open choice. "...I... can't give you my answer yet," she replied haltingly, uncertain of whether she should agree to such a monumental invitation. She did want to get to know Lilin, and being packmates was the best possible way to do so. But she had not been in a pack for so long, and even when she had, her uselessness always made her a burden to those around her. Saul and Lilin could soon have their opinions of her soured. Being rejected by even them would be last straw for the melancholy wolf. On the other hand, she didn't want to disappoint Saul, not after how guilty she had made him thanks to the grim news he carried. "I'll be staying around the Dampwoods, though, so... when you're ready, you can find me there. I'll have an answer." It was the best she could do; she had so very much on her mind now, and she needed time alone to mull things over. She rose wearily to her paws, feeling drained of all her energy. It would be a long and lonely walk back.