08-12-2008, 09:39 PM
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The silence in the air and the emptiness where a body had been was sudden but expected. He imagined it must have sounded like a curse now, even if it was only the second time he'd ever said it. They didn't mean anything, didn't erase anything, didn't fix anything. They were just a reminder of a time long, long since past. It had been almost two years since they had last touched a harmless touch, a touch that had not been meant to kill. The white room was empty and so was the chasm in his chest; the headache was tremendous, but he couldn't feel his own beating heart anymore. Laruku could only continue to lie to himself, as much as he wanted the lies to be true.
He wanted to believe that he could put this behind him because so much time had passed already. He wanted to believe that he could forget because he had said sorry too many times already and he couldn't be any more sorry than he already was. He wanted to believe that there was a "better," even if he didn't know what it was. He had always wanted to believe. He was still trying. Laruku dragged his arm back to his body and curled his knees to his chest. There were still tears running down his face, but he didn't really feel them anymore.
The silence in the air and the emptiness where a body had been was sudden but expected. He imagined it must have sounded like a curse now, even if it was only the second time he'd ever said it. They didn't mean anything, didn't erase anything, didn't fix anything. They were just a reminder of a time long, long since past. It had been almost two years since they had last touched a harmless touch, a touch that had not been meant to kill. The white room was empty and so was the chasm in his chest; the headache was tremendous, but he couldn't feel his own beating heart anymore. Laruku could only continue to lie to himself, as much as he wanted the lies to be true.
He wanted to believe that he could put this behind him because so much time had passed already. He wanted to believe that he could forget because he had said sorry too many times already and he couldn't be any more sorry than he already was. He wanted to believe that there was a "better," even if he didn't know what it was. He had always wanted to believe. He was still trying. Laruku dragged his arm back to his body and curled his knees to his chest. There were still tears running down his face, but he didn't really feel them anymore.