ooc:
It was a fact that all creatures could experience a change in the world. Be it the temperature change of the seasons, or the earth eroding away under their feet... the transition of stages of life or the ebb and flow of sickness or injury. In one form or another, it was felt. Regardless of a creature's sentience, it was not a part of life that could be ignored. Though some did not take kindly to how these indescribable sensations overtook their lives.
A shame that such a calm, controlled beast would fall as one that did not experience a change within her stable world whole heartedly. The change of the seasons, the changes in the stages of life, these she could handle and understood as any living being would. But the change in dynamic, of atmosphere, of mood... she could not readily accept this without first knowing what had brought it about. But where to begin... how would she inquire? She knew of a cause and could see its result but did not understand why it lingered like this. Why would he allow this to affect him so?
The dynamic of the Alphas of Sangi'lak had shifted. Any with eyes could see this as it transpired. Though they smiled to each other and were tender in touch to the public eye, little more resided beyond those gestures as of late. The lingering touch of fondness had faded to little more than a brush. The exuberant smiles of undying love, reduced to a smoldering flame nearly suffocated by an overbearing weight. Sense would have dictated that the two share words and resolve what troubled the others mind, but on part of the female, there was little reason for her to do so because she already knew the cause of this rift and selfishly chose not to recall it.
Rather, she would depart from the den shared by her companion and retreat to the idle gardens where she found much solace. When agitation pricked at her muscles and command that she move, she practiced her footing atop the solid pillars as a means to release the excess energy. She had become sluggish as of late, she could tell this by her daily heavy strides. Had she remained Home, her brethren would have scolded her for allowing her to become so comfortable in this lifestyle. Where was the drive to train? Where was her ambition to better herself for the pack? But she would argue, was doing so physically enough? Or was there more... much more she could do to better herself for the pack? And if so...would she have to do this alone? Would his heart's indecision keep them further apart...
Her forelimb grazed the top of the stone but her weight was shifted to the wrong load bearing paw. Her dismount was graceless, a tumble of golden fur and autumn mane laid like a pile of leaves beneath the stone. It was in lying there upon the cool dawn grasses that she felt her muscles burn for the first time in a long. It was the uncomfortable pain of weakness leaving the body. But if only this same pain could be said for the heart.
Exercised muscle endured another kind of pain as it was stretched and realigned to suit a different form. Still she remained on the ground as the transformation took hold then gradually rose when reformed arms would allow her to do so. Beneath her golden coat her muscles throbbed and ache, but the pain was pushed aside as the Exultare would have her do. Despite her hiding away, her wallowing, her troubled thoughts, she was far from done with her training. Fueled by frustration, her dislike of the ominous change she could not place that hung over them, it was doubtful she would end any time soon. Even after the morning birds began their songs and the dew began to evaporate by the spying sun in its rise, she would still be training.
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