Hati was troubled of late. His family used to be the core of his motivations, but now they were slipping away from him. His brother had fought him weeks ago, both of them driven to physical blows as their insecurities were laid bare before them. He had not spoken to Skoll since, other than a few stiff acknowledgments at home. The bruises had healed, but the awkwardness had not. Neither of them really knew how to apologize for letting their rivalry push them too far. His sister and father were distant, spending all of their time together patrolling the borders and handling official pack business. Vigilante seemed especially tired lately, worn out but too closed-off to want to talk about it. And his dear mother, his favorite, had been brutally assaulted and was bedridden for her recovery. She was handling the pain well, but it was obvious it would take her a long time to heal; she had been close to death when Amaranth and Kable carried her home that day.
The young adult was stressed by this already, not knowing who to turn to, but to top it off, he had begun to have confusing dreams at night. He knew he was slower than his littermates when it came to a lot of things, and romance was one of them -- his first birthday was just around the corner, but he hadn't the slightest inclination toward girls, not even a crush. His mother suggested subtly that he should look outside the kingdom for someone to spark his interest, but he was a homebody, unwilling to travel outside the borders even now. He wasn't so lonely that he wanted to go seeking a mate, it didn't interest him that much. Girls like Terra and Giselle were pretty, but in the same way moonlight and sunsets were pretty, it didn't make him want to spend more time looking at them. Working at the stables was a far bigger priority, but now he was beginning to question why that was. He had the same dream for several nights in a row, a sweet and stirring romantic dream, but all the more confusing and upsetting once he was awake and remembered who it had been about.
This morning he woke with a start, tumbling from his bed to the floor. For a moment he was panicked until reality filtered through to him. The house was quiet, his siblings and father already off wherever they went during the day. His mother was probably still asleep, resting off her wounds. Frowning, Hati rubbed his bleary eyes, smoothing his mussy mane back from his face out of habit. His cheeks felt oddly warm -- he was blushing, from embarrassment or something else, he couldn't tell. It was that dream again, the one he knew he could never tell anyone about. He quickly rose to his feet, lip trembling with frustration. Everything was going wrong lately, and he didn't know how to put it all back into order. The stables, that was where he felt most comfortable now, where he could lose himself amid the warm scents of hay and horses, cleaning the stalls, carrying water to troughs, all the mundane chores that helped him get out of his head. Hati rushed from the house straight outdoors, not stopping to check on Mother for fear she would notice how upset he was and ask him why. How would she react? Her gentle advice always set him back on track, but this time he was worried she might not have the answer for him.
Walking wasn't fast enough, so Hati began to run, long-legged strides turning the surroundings into a blur. The summer sun was still ascending, the warm air heavy and humid. The horses would be drowsy all day, and would need extra water rations, his mind quickly asserted. He might not get a riding lesson from Alder today, since the horses would rather rest during the heat. The thought was suddenly so depressing to him that his pale eyes began to well with unexpected tears. He tried to scrub them away as quickly as he could -- how shameful, he was an adult now and he was acting like a mewling pup -- but he was already at the barn, and it was too late to hide it. Quickly he clamored up the ladder to the hayloft, hoping no one else was there to see his breakdown. Whatever was making him cry didn't want to let him stop. The sniffling wolfdog curled up behind a small bale of hay, trying to catch his breath and figure out why he was so upset. He used to be so good at concealing his emotions, but they had become so turbulent lately, enough to make him fight his brother, and now apparently enough to make him hide sniveling in a pile of hay for no good reason.
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