Is this a mistake?

Adonia Demos · 08-30-2012, 06:11 PM

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Word Count → 000

The two males both seemed to not want to let her issue go. She didn't know what to do to get them away. Tharin wasn't going to let her walk away, maybe she could run? She didn't want their sorrys she didn't want their pity! Tharin seemed to be the only one not pitying her, at least not that much. She let her ears hide in her fur as the question came to her, the one she hoped to avoid. A whimper broke from her, it seemed to turn into a grumble. "...I didn't feel close to him anymore..I didn't feel that warm loving feeling. I felt like a I was forcing my affection. I didn't feel like that's how mates were suppose to be...he'd disappeared on my twice...and I didn't trust him anymore. So I ended it, okay? Now, I feel like I made a mistake. Maybe it's the idea of having someone I miss? I don't know! I just don't feel good and would like to just be left to dwindle in my own problem and choice...it's no one elses problem, just mine!" She began to get more upset the more she felt how ridiculous she sounded. Adonia was never good with words, only actions. And right now she was becoming defensive and her lips were fighting not to curl up and nip out at Jiva for his question.

She looked from Jiva to Tharin, "But my problem shouldn't affect others, it's selfish of me to put anything on my pack...especially the breaking of my mateship..." She again felt like she beginning to cry, even though she couldn't physically let tears drop, not in her lupus form. Still, they fought to come. Her eyes just became glassy and whines fought to escape. She wouldn't let herself cry in front of the others. "I just miss him, I didn't know he'd leave...I didn't know I'd feel this empty or alone. I've been without him when he'd left, and I'd been without him before. I just don't understand why I feel so hallow inside right now..." Her ears perked and she looked at Jiva as he offered tea. "Tea?" She hadn't heard about tea since her mother. She'd never had them in one place for long and she remembered a male her mother slept with for a few weeks who loved teas. Adonia never had any tea before, and she didn't understand why he'd offer tea at a time like this. But he did say he had something to calm her nerves, maybe it was the tea. It wouldn't hurt, "..um, sure...I wouldn't mind some tea, I guess..." She was quite apprehensive about his offer and it showed in her soft voice.

Her eyes glanced to Tharin, she hadn't told anyone, not even the leadership about her breaking of the mateship, but she didn't think she wanted to. Really, they didn't have a ceremony for it. So, to her there was really no need to announce the breaking of it, but Tharin wanted to know what bothered her. Adonia could feel her stomach's protest for food, but Adonia ignored it, she couldn't bare having a single bite of food while her body felt like shivering from being so upset. She just wanted to move, or curl in a ball. Her eyes kept on the male for a moment. She wanted to feel someone's hug, to tell her she was okay. Tharin was the only one she knew and trusted out of the entire pack, but she wouldn't ask for it, she just hoped he'd come forward. She looked away sharply feeling stupid for wishing for such a thing.

Code by the Mentors; photo courtesy to effika

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