She nodded as her grey toned son explained it would hurt more to sit than it did standing. A wistful smile tugged at her lips as he said he'd stay as long as she would allow him. "That has the potential to be a very long time, Noah." Her voice was teasing, her eyes still distant and somehow wounded. When he asked about his father, she flinched slightly. "Some days, Noah, I blame myself. After we lost Shadow and the litter I was carrying, I lost it. But then when you and Tal were a month old, there was the fire. I thought we would be okay, we survived it so well. But by then the damage between him and I had been done."
She was silent for a moment, and then she spoke again. "There was always a darkness in him, I just never knew it, never faced it. He had taken care of Shadow, had taken him in as if he had been his son. But even then he had problems with drugs. I just refused to see it until it was too late, until he'd already damaged everything beyond repair. I didn't know his mother well, except that she was Soran's first mate. I was good friends with his father, the Noah you were named after. Big Noah was a gentle giant, wanted to do his best for Lucifer and Charm, even though Soran and Summer were mates. I can't believe that they would have contributed to the darkness in him. And Phasma did her best to raise Lucifer right too. I guess... all the love in the world couldn't save him from his own darkness."
She fell silent again, thinking of the days when Lucifer had been good and clean, when he had been strong and brave.
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