the lovers are losing

Palaydrian Soul · 09-10-2012, 09:04 PM

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WC:: 1835 OOC::

Rage and sadness built up in the golden woman, a tumultuous storm ready to break at any second. It was threatening to spill out into the very life she had cultivated for herself in New Dawn, and every second she remained within the lands that held the memory of her three babies growing inside her, she wanted to lash out and attack her family. How dare they assume that because they lived the lives of “normal” wolves, the “natural” loss of her children should be less painful than it already was? She imagined the faces and voices of her brothers and sisters telling her to “move on” or it “happens all the time”, only to expect her to bounce back like it never even happened though her stomach was still rounded, her breasts were still full of milk, and the healing gash above her brow was only another reminder of that horrible day. Not only did she mourn the loss of her children, but she also cried out for her fallen alphess with full understanding of the trauma she probably went through after she had lost her own brood. And poor Titania suffered the mental warfare on her own, why was she left alone through it all? Palaydrian thanked Luna for her mate, her anchor in life that stood by her through it all. Yet it was this small minded and savage mentality of some of her family members to think such things were easy to push aside and carry on that drove the stricken woman to restlessness. How was one expected to not suffer from the cherishment of bearing life, only to have it dashed from your mind in the bloody mess that once contained the three beating hearts of your offspring? She didn’t understand it. Palaydrian didn’t want to understand them. But most of all, Drin couldn’t believe how easily everyone else was able to move on without a care in the world. New Dawn had suffered loss in many forms, and no such homage was paid to the dead or the missing. It sickened her. Pack was family no matter what...and this wasn’t that.

It had been a few days after the accident now, but even her little Eden couldn’t keep her entertained for more than an hour. Her mind kept drifting back to the lifeless forms at the bottom of the abandoned mining shaft and the resentment she felt towards everyone, especially the women. Their home reeked of heat in the communal den, a place she chose not to sleep in anymore since Titania had left and the dark king took it upon himself to shack up with everything that moved. It disgusted her and sullied the very memory of her treasured friend. How could some of her “sisters” be so disrespectful? Their alphess had been gone for less than a week! How could Zalen? He was a man she had once harbored feelings for, but no longer....she couldn’t, not anymore. Sure it was the Alpha’s right to claim all single females in their prime, but wasn’t the disappearance of his mate still fresh? Apparently not, as they giggled and tittered away as if the red tinged fae never existed, smelling of sex and lust. This was no home for her any longer. She needed to get away, and she couldn’t keep telling Jiva she was fine. Refusing to eat or drink for the past few days had taken a toll on her, but in the early morning light, Drin had had her fill of an unlucky rabbit and bathed for the first time since the incident. The Omega felt sorry for leaving her mate’s side so early in the morning, but what she needed the most at the moment was solitude and a clear head. Coat cleansed of the blood and tissue from her forced birth and the dirt from the hell hole she had fallen into, her downcast ocean eyes floated towards the fog of the shrouded woods which beckoned her to be swallowed.

Borne into the mist, the angel’s siamese coated paws carried the grieving fae away from the lands and into unclaimed lands. She craved a new start and a fresh beginning elsewhere, but where? All she had known since coming to the land of Souls was New Dawn and Jiva. He was her only family now, and Fayne...the silver fae would always be a true sister to her. Oh but to leave little Lena pained the woman’s heart as well. She loved the blind adolescent as much as she would her own children if they had survived, but she couldn’t think of this. She felt sick in her homelands, the culmination of all the events after Titania’s unexpected departure and leading up to the death of her own children weighed heavily upon her mind and spirit. It was no way to live! Yet how could she even begin to explain the depth of her depression to her beloved? How would he react to his mate’s confession in which he most likely believed her unhappiness was due to the accident? These were all things she tried in vain to push from her mind. She knew he would follow her to the ends of the earth, she just didn’t know how to even begin asking such a thing. Maybe this was a phase, or perhaps she’d grow out of the sentiment she carried, but the longer she walked aimlessly through the woods and further away from the packlands, the lighter her heart began to feel. It’s not my home anymore...with or without my children...it wasn’t a home, she assured herself, cementing her thoughts and banishing any last threads of doubt lingering in her head.

It began to rain. A cleansing of sorts for her body and soul as she walked along. The morning conversations of birds dulled for a few minutes but quickly picked up with gusto as slanted moisture adopted a steady rhythm. The fog had now turned to mist as the warm earthen ground expired steam into the air. So full and vibrant was the dying summer air, Palaydrian about lost herself in the beauty within the rain before she realized she was crying. It was exhilarating and magnificent, her broken sobs embraced by nature as she let the tears fall. They were hot and mingling into the fur on her cheeks, but instead of the dark etched frown on her face, Drin was smiling and then she began to laugh. To an onlooker she may have seemed to be having psychotic break or some sort of bipolar episode, but it had been some time since she had felt this alive, this free. She tossed her head back to the crying sky and allowed the rainfall to wash over her and into her open maw as she sang out for her children, for Titania, and for the decisions to come. It wasn’t until her eyes reopened and her song had come to an end that she heard the softest whisper of a whimper within the rain. Seal point ears stood alert on her crown, cupping towards the initial sound as she allowed her snout to go to work. Within the woods, all sound was dampened by the thousands of surfaces being pummeled by raindrops, but tracking had become a specialized art of Drin’s and the once expecting mother’s sense of all things “baby” was still at an all time high. Her nose rifled through wet leaves and fauna before she decided to voice a low bark. As expected, the wavery voice came once again, and now the golden fae had found its source.

Shock registered on the fae’s face when her snout uncovered a tiny fox kit, but it quickly dissipated with the fast beating of her heart. The abandoned thing was visibly shivering in the rain as it helplessly stared up at her with the bluest eyes. Oh you poor thing, Palaydrian cooed as she lowered her body to the ground and slowly inched towards the petrified child. It couldn’t have been more than two weeks old, but was little more than skin and bones and impossibly small, a runt. Drin’s heart swelled with the need to care for the young one obviously left to fend for itself in the wildlands and subjected to the dangers of not having a home. It was as if Luna had led her out here to find this baby! A different species entirely, but a creature in need. Here was her second chance and the kit’s own at survival. I know you don’t understand me, but I won’t hurt you, she whispered to the tawny scruff of fuzz as she inched even closer. The kit regarded her with seemingly just cleared up eyes before it wobbled forward towards the warmth of the fae’s body, towards the source of milk. A mewling sound came from the babe as it found a teat beneath her long guard hairs. Toothless and scared, the fox kit latched on and an overwhelming sense of motherhood seized Drin as she carefully rolled to her side and cradled the tiny thing with a free arm. This was her pup now, and why not? Her body still possessed everything her own children would have needed if they had survived and now she’d continue to produce milk. She smiled down at the nursing kit. I’ll name you...Leaf...yes, Leaf...my little Darkfire, she mused. What would Jiva think of this?

The soaked angel approached New Dawn on two legs with the tiny kit cradled against her breast. The fox child was fast asleep, small tummy hard with the fullness of milk, and fuzzy fur radiating a healthy warmth. A sense of foreboding shrouded Palaydrian’s heart as she drew near, but it was already getting close to nightfall and as much as she wished to stay away, she knew she needed to come back for her mate. He’d never forgive her if she just up and left and she’d never be able to forgive herself. The mohawked man was her other half, she just hoped he’d take to Leaf as she had. Calling gently out into the woods that she had once called home, she sang for her lover before cautiously stepping back into the borders of the pack. Leaf was in a hard milk coma cradled in her arms. Her fox kit child was too young to decipher that he wasn’t a wolf pup and Drin had taken the extra precaution of cleaning his tiny body off with her own tongue, rubbing her scent all over him so nobody would mistake the child for food. He was her’s now, filling the void that the accident had left in her life. Luna’s own special gift of life. My pup...my child.. she thought to herself as she waited for her mate.

Table credit goes to Raze! <3.

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