WC: 581
Reality had filtered into some sort of disjointed dream. Coli couldn't feel much of anything anymore. The painful part was over, and now she was just weak and cold, wanting to wrap herself in blankets and furs and sleep forever. She couldn't catch her breath, though, no matter how she panted. There was a numbness tingling in her fingers and toes, even her face. It was like there wasn't enough air in the room. Dizzy, disoriented, she peered through half-closed eyelids, trying to make out what was going on. The warmth of her third child vanished abruptly, and she frowned, hands grasping at what she was no longer holding. Where were her daughters...? She yearned to hold them again, to stroke their little heads and feel them fall asleep against her. They were finally real, not just an image or a thought or something inside her that she could not see. Was she allowed to hold them now?
At once there was pressure between her legs, along with the feel of a hand massaging her stomach. She knew it was Saul, and his intentions were good, but she was reminded uncomfortably of how the puppies had been conceived in the first place. Her shaky hand reached out, feebly waving him away; surely whatever he was doing wasn't necessary. She shivered weakly, hearing Saul's calm voice, but from a great distance. Don't panic... stay awake. Why couldn't she sleep? It was all she wanted right now. Blinking slowly, she tried to fathom what was going on. Was there something worth panicking over? Why was Saul taking action -- did he say there was bleeding? She had delivered her daughters, and all three of them survived. As long as they were all right, everything was going to be fine. Coli tried to ask aloud, but her lips barely moved, and no sound came forth. She just needed to rest her eyes, only for a little while...
Lilin said something then, so soft Coli nearly missed it. There was so much emotion saturating her plea. Her ears flicked forward, focusing in on her sister. Bleary eyes squinted, barely making out the shapes of the three newborns in their aunt's arms. Were they squeaking? Did they really need her? Oh, she did not want to disappoint them... and why was Lilin so sad? Suddenly Coli realized she did not want to sink any further into the soporific darkness; it was too hard to hear what her family was saying. Her cheeks were still wet from the tears she had shed, and she blinked rapidly, struggling to clear off the haze that was making her so sluggish and confused. She tried to say something in reply, but again her tongue would not comply.
It was a struggle to keep her head raised above the mattress, but it was the only way she could keep herself from drifting into unconsciousness. It was then she caught sight of the blood, and she whimpered pitifully as it dawned on her how close to death she had come. Her limbs trembled from the blood loss, but the worst of it was over, thanks to Saul's quick thinking. The Hollr pressed her palm against the rune of Thurisaz on her chest, thanking the gods for not stripping her from her family and leaving her infants orphaned. With a concerted effort, she raised her voice, managing to produce a semi-coherent response. "Staying... with you all... won't sleep... won't go anywhere... not ever."
It's cold and loveless, I won't let you be denied
I want to satisfy the undisclosed desires in your heart
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