Word Count →
I don't know why, but i just felt like he would get all dramatic and try and sacrifice himself now to make up for it.
It was a dream. That was all this was. Adrian would wake up any minute now, panting and sweating from this nightmare, with his sister looking down at him with a worried expression. And he would hug Hotaru and look into her eyes to make sure they were aware and seeing, before burying his head against her shoulder and crying. Then he would tell her about his nightmare and it would be better. Because he wouldn't be alone. He would have his twin sister that he loved so much by his side. But this wasn't a dream. It was a far to real nightmare.
Adrian managed to choke down a few more breathes. He saw her step forward and hoped for a second that she would tell him that it was okay, she had forgiven him long ago for what he had done. But he knew those words weren't going to come. He just didn't want to admit that he knew it. He wanted to curl up in a ball and die. Adrian could handle many things but guilt was one he had trouble with. If he thought he did something because he had no other option, he would feel guilty, but he could survive. But the guilt of blinding his sister was different. Adrian could already tell that even if she forgave him, he would never forgive himself. He told himself that it was his fault. He could have found another way. He could have told her his plan and made her come willingly. He could have stayed and died while she escape. And that is what Adrian thought he should have done. He should have made the ultimate sacrifice for his sister. His life was nothing if he couldn't protect her.
As Hotaru's voice broke through the spell that the realization of what he had done had set him in, he managed to suck in a ragged breathe. Then he laid there panting, feeling like his head had been about to explode. She can never forgive me. He thought, pain tearing at his heart. He finally forced himself to look up at her. He looked into her eyes but now, knowing what he did, he saw nothing there. Her eyes could just have easily been missing from her skull for all the difference it made to him. "Good. Don't forgive me. I don't deserve it." And he didn't. He realized that now. He was responsible for everything. "I had wanted to protect you so much, that I hurt you. I can never make up for that. So what is the point in even trying? Just kill me and be done with it Hotaru. Kill me and then you can forget." Adrian looked up at her with pain and longing in his eyes. He hadn't been able to sacrifice himself for her when they were younger. But he would make up for it now. He would let her seek her retribution by spilling is blood on the sand. And for once, Adrian actually believe the killing would be just.
<style type="text/css">.KidoTwinsSnow b {font-weight:bold; color:#000000 ; letter-spacing:1px; }
.KidoTwinsSnow .ooc { font-style:italic; padding:0px; font-family:verdana, sans-serif; font-size:11px;}
.KidoTwinsSnow p {text-indent:25px; padding:5px 10px; margin:0px;}
.KidoTwinsSnow {margin:0px auto; width:468px; background-color:#F0F8FF; background-image:url(http://i.imgur.com/6IyXS.jpg); background-position: top center; background-repeat:no-repeat; border:1px solid #000000; padding: 390px 0px 5px 0px; font-family: georgia, sans-serif; font-size:12px; color:#191970; line-height:16px; letter-spacing:.5px; text-align:justify;}
</style>