Good Things:
Ability to challenge the alphas for dominance at anytime, this I like and kinda fits in with the demonic theme.
Things I would fix or reconsider:
-Basing this off the demonic hierarchy, first I would have to question where this idea precisely would come from in the terms of In Character, do Shadowfang or Thana have any direct knowledge of christian mythology? Can either of them actually read? If so, why base it off whats considered to be evil in said mythos? From what I've been reading in both characters role plays, they do not suit the evil archetype character and in that case both would be really unfit to take the "throne of evil". ex) Thana adopts Anna instead of say...eating her face, or sacrificing her to some kind of dark god. Shadowfang lets Zalen get away with nearly humping his woman instead of say, plotting the untimely and gruesome demise of both Zalen and anyone else Thana got to it with. Then proceeding of course to punish Thana in an equally gruesome way
- Second part kind of follows off from the first, now the first assumes that the character group is based around being evil as the mythos would suggest. Part two goes off the point that it is not meant to be evil, and that the names are merely being used because they sound cool....which...is not cool. Though I guess you could call this more of a personal facepalm rather than a direct point.
-Next the requirements state that to join you must be a strong fighter, now since this is a freeform RPG, precisely what is the definition of a strong fighter? I mean from what I can see this site has more assassins than renaissance Italy. And from personal understanding assassins aren't supposed to be master warriors, but stealth attackers not designed for direct melee confrontation; more designed for a single lethal blow from the shadows than a direct attack. So I would expand upon the definition before you continued. Following on from this note a couple of your ranks are based around being first intelligent, and second sneaky stealthy, as is pointed out above being strong AND being one of these is highly unlikely ( or at least highly unlikely in a non mary-sue character). So maybe loosen up the requirements, or perhaps put in some kind of "test" for new members to prove themselves to the rank they want to take?
How I would fix above points
-In the case of point 1, ICly, I would try to make them seem more evil, because as things stand I just don't get that feeling from either character. At least not enough to take them seriously as the leaders of a demonic based pack.
-Second part, depends on whether its the first part of the second. If you correspond to the above, nothing to fix on this. If not, well...no comment.
-Third, kinda already covered this. Expand on the definition of what you want, or make a test for entry.
Last But Not Least:
These are my opinions on the matter, as of such hold no actual weight on the site. So feel free to take or ignore them as you see fit. Good luck!
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