then i opened my eyes and the nightmare was me
#3
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The paint mare continued to plod along, the furry ball of warmth curled against Levent’s stomach, and the birds occasionally trilling from the mountain pines or hopping around the bushes. It was peace, all for a few more seconds, until the horse stopped still and snorted and a voice hailed him.

The man pulled back on the reins out of reflex although Mai had already halted, and she jerked her head in retaliation before snorting once more at the strange blonde dog standing before them. An ear went back, but Levent slowly reached up to pat her neck before slipping down out of the saddle, his arms cradling the bulge under his shirt as if it were a pregnant belly. He could feel the form underneath breathing and shifting, but fortunately Wilson hadn’t woken yet, and Lev did not want to wake him.

“They’re dead,” Levent stated coldly, his voice low and barely carrying across the distance. He looked at her sling, at the treacherous cliffs, and knew that if he reached out and shoved her she’d die; maybe they’d both die. “My puppies are dead,” he continued in the same voice, one devoid of the emotion and grief and pain that had plagued him, destroyed him, in the month after their passing. He’d shaken and sobbed in the middle of the night, had contemplated ending his one goal in life in the span of an instant, had done terrible things to a young woman with his hand alone. He should have wanted to break down and cry, those four words whispered in the cold air, but he didn’t.

There were no tears left; that Levent had been effectively killed, and dead men did not cry tears.



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