10-02-2008, 05:53 PM
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Rather than push his daughter away, Laruku would prefer if he could simply disappear, or find her someone else to latch onto. But really, part of him already regretted allowing her to grow attached -- if he could have just let her hate him, if he could have just let her find her way, then things would be easier. If she had to lose her entire family, so stand on her own, then so be it. He knew she was strong; if she losing everyone would have allowed her to find someone else, then wasn't that for the better? The coyotewolf was not reliable, and in the end, he was probably just selfish. He knew what was better for everyone, but maybe the truth was just that he needed someone to still love him. He needed her more than she really needed him.
Family, that thing he'd never really had. He supposed he wanted more of them to be around too. Sometimes he wondered what his real, blood siblings would have been like if they had lived. Sometimes he wondered where those of his long lost adoptive litter had gone. Sometimes. But most of the time, he didn't. For the most part, they had never been there, and it just didn't matter anymore. His father, his mother. Ghosts in the night that he may or may not have met. A long time ago, he would have given anything to have known them, but now, they seemed entirely trivial. Unimportant in every way. He didn't know if he cared, if he wanted them, if he needed them at all. Maybe it was why he'd grown up broken. Maybe not.
Family, that thing he'd never really had. He supposed he wanted more of them to be around too. Sometimes he wondered what his real, blood siblings would have been like if they had lived. Sometimes he wondered where those of his long lost adoptive litter had gone. Sometimes. But most of the time, he didn't. For the most part, they had never been there, and it just didn't matter anymore. His father, his mother. Ghosts in the night that he may or may not have met. A long time ago, he would have given anything to have known them, but now, they seemed entirely trivial. Unimportant in every way. He didn't know if he cared, if he wanted them, if he needed them at all. Maybe it was why he'd grown up broken. Maybe not.
No,he said with a lazy half-shrug,
I don't need anything.He closed his eyes so he didn't need to pretend to look in the right direction.
Do you?