10-05-2008, 06:10 PM
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"I don’t think I really could have stopped him. He kind of just went off on his own. I’ve heard some rumors about Inferni as well, but I’d like to think they’re not all as bad as everyone makes them out to be." He nodded to Jazper’s comment. Not all of them were bad, right? He figured it was their opinions that threw off some of the wolves around here. But everyone was entitled to their own opinion. Pilot couldn’t be one to judge.
"Music, huh? That’s great. Maybe you could show me sometime. Dierdre had given me a violin back when we still lived in Storm. I could show you the songs I knew if you wanted." He smiled genuinely, feeling good that he was maybe breaking some new grounds with his son. That term still didn’t feel right to him though.
The sudden change in temperament caught Pilot off guard. He stood there, listening to everything Jazper had to say, nodding slowly as the ebony male listed things off. "Jazper, truth is..." And what was the truth? Would he really be able to explain himself? "The truth is… I’m not a very good father figure. At all. And I can admit that. When I found out that you were technically my son in some ways, I was completely shocked. Even with my two sons that are blood, I know I failed them as a father. I know that! But there’s nothing I can do to fix myself. I know I’m not a good father. All I know how to be is a leader." He never once got angry, because he had only talked about himself. He had come to terms with that fact. He knew he had failed Sirius and Apollo. Maybe Pilot hadn’t been ready for children. Or maybe, it was Dierdre’s disappearance he hadn’t been prepared for. "I’m sorry I failed you too."