She knew as soon as she spoke that this had been a mistake. The black male lowered himself, tucking his tail for her. An exasperated sigh left her lips. She wanted to slap him for this, but he wouldn't even stand on two legs for her. He stayed in the Lupus form. "Damn it Lucifer, all the times you were ranks over me we still looked at eachother eye to eye. Why is it so damn hard for you to look at me now?"
She sat down, a hand going instinctively to her belly as she eased herself to the ground, leaning against the oak's trunk. Deuce leaned her head back and closed her eyes. "I give you permission to be open and honest with me, and still you persist in cringing away from me." She opened her eyes, raising her voice. She was furious now, furious that he wanted to act this way. "You claim to have come back for me and not even once have you looked at me or tried to greet me! Instead, you want to act like a child and play coy! I hate this game you are playing with me, Lucifer! I hate it!" She wiped away a tear which had fallen unnoticed, leaning her head back again, her eyes not leaving him. "I hate it.."she whispered.
Part of her wondered if this was his way of punishing her. If this was how he wnted to hurt her for sleeping with haku. Well, damnit, they'd never said they were anything but the occasional lovers. What crime was it for her to take a lover besides Lucifer? She watched him quietly now, absently worrying at her skin with the tip of a claw. This was a habit she'd unconciously found after Lucifer came back. The fine art of Self Injury. Most days she wasn't even aware of doing it,until she'd made herself bleed. The days she was aware, she didn't much care. "You make me feel guilty for having something to call my own, Lucifer, did you know that? You threw me out of my home, took my children away from me. Did you expect me to wallow in pity all my life? I have a home, a family here, and now you make me feel guilty for being successful. You make me feel guilty for finding some small comfort in life." Her voice was soft, as if she were only talking to herself. "You never wanted to keep me afterwards, you'd come and visit and then leave again. You didn't want to stay. Even after twilight vale disbanded, you didn't want to stay with me. Taliesin is here now, and still you don't want to give us a chance to be a family, you want to cringe away like I'm some sort of monster. Don't you care about me? Don't you care about how I feel?"
She wanted him to speak to her, to open up with her. She'd once spilled her secrts to him without a second thought. She'd opened up fully about how Erik rapd her, and the aftermath of it all. He'd been her rock, her stability even after the miscarriage and the death of Shadow. He'd been the one to know how to fix her time and time again. Why wouldn't he let her do that now? She knew what had happened with Naniko and Kansas, and she didn't condemn him for it. Why would he hide from her now? Why would he hide his heart from her now?
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