Lucifer questioned her? He had the right to, she decided, as she weighed how to answer the male she still loved. He touched her, and she wanted nothing more than to wrap her arms around him and hold him tightly, inhaling the scents of his fur. But she didn't, she just remained still, watching him. She answered him slowly, her word scoming out only after much thought.
"Haku is a dear friend, one whom I will never abandon. So many consider him to be evil, but I see the good that lays under his skin. If I ran to him, it would be for advice, not for 'my dirty pleasure'. He and I share something special, but we boh knew it would ever happen again after that night. He is not just a casual fuck buddy, he is one of my closest friends." She was rambling, albiet slowly. She returned her wandering focus on the issue at hand.
"Were you and I to get back together, I would be faithful to you, Lucifer, and I would demand the same." She knew his gaze was on her belly, and she sighed. "Does it bother you that much? Would it ease your mind to know I have herbs that will induce the body to miscarry?" She swallowed, then asked softly, "Would you have me do that for you, Lucifer?"
She didn't know what she would do if he said yes. She diodn't know if she would have the strangth to do that, to end lives that she held so precious. It wasn't like Firefly's unwanted (imaginary) pregnancy. These were pups she cherished, had already imagined and named a thousand times. Could she take the herbs to abort the pregnancy just to keep lucifer in her life? She didn't know if she could.
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