Said I'm sorry momma

[Soran Aatte]

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So sorry for the wait on this reply hun, how're you? push it inSoran had awoken far too early this day, the image of Hollow laughing as he held their dead son in his hands, twisting his frail neck as she had done so soon after he had been born, around and around he had twisted it, until his orange red hands had been stained dark crimson with Rokus' blood. Blood that was on the ebony lady's own hands in reality, true it had never been there in the first place, not physically, the little male pup had never bled, he had just died in her hands, as she crunched his frail neck. The guilt was killing her, she could not believe what she had done, killed her own newborn son for a crime that he had not committed, for something that was not his fault, for simply looking like the perfect blend of his dark mother and his rapist father. Had she been in a better mindframe, sober, not wracked by her self hatred at being too weak to fight back against the brutal attack that had created the pups, she might have let him live, had she been sane at the time she would have stayed, she would have nutured her younger litter the way she should have. She had gotten her comeuppance though, the litter that she had wanted had died, she had lost them and her new mate with them, and now she was plagued by dreams, unable to forgive herself she doubted that the dreams or her own guilt would ever stop. push it inBut as the jade eyed lady had awoken so abruptly, before the sun had even begun to rise over the horizon, she had decided to go for a walk, she had slung her canvas bag across her shoulder and made her way towards the city. After all she had been planning to increase the library in the manor since the first time she visited the lands, since her son had been the Alpha there and she remembered where she could get the books from, the University. And so she had begun to make her way, walking quickly, the pair of silver hoops in her left ear twinkling as the sun had finally begun to rise. As she walked she was already planning which books she would collect, she would find herself some more music books for her flute, she hadn't played it enough in such a long time, she had decided to start again. And she would bring some novels back, some picture-filled story books for the pups, she would get them involved in reading whilst they were still young, she wanted them to be as enthusiastic about literature as she was, she wanted to teach them to read. She was sure that they would be heavy but that wouldn't matter, she had no problem carrying them back to the manor, her canvas bag would hold them and it would be worth carrying them back, the rewards would be much greater than the awkwardness to bring them back. push it inAnd as the tall lady thought about what she would bring back, what she would read to the pups first she caught a familiar scent. Her heart skipped a beat at the same time her stomach turned, a sudden rush of overwhelming motherly love mixed with the sudden nausea at the memory of what her eldest boy had done. But still, despite knowing what had gone on between him and Naniko, she couldn't stop her first instinct, the instinct to run to her boy. And so she did, her feet moving rapidly, racing through the lands until she skidded to a halt in front of him. He looked so different, a shadow of his former self, withered away, like a house that had been burnt to the ground, just the charred remains of what it had been. And suddenly she knew, she had wondered whether she'd be able to stand seeing him, knowing what he had done, she had wondered if she would be able to stand before him and still love him. But at that moment, looking at him, her baby, her child who seemed so broken, so lost, so frail, she knew, she loved him still, she had the overwhelming urge to mother him, to care for him. “Conri?” She muttered, moving closer to her broken baby.

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