12-15-2008, 02:21 PM
She knew they would come, all in due time the pack began to arrive. The quiet sounds of her children and grandchildren behind her made her strong enough to continue on.. yet she knew that each and every one of them wanted nothing to do with the meeting, or atleast those who had guess so far. She hadn't exactly been quiet in her outbursts the past few days and it wasn't hard to figure it all out, if one had been around lately. Soon the sound of Deuce and Jefferson followed, she knew they would do fine without her leading, they were both strong and steady together as long as they could work past their differences. She closed her sightless eyes as the wind buffered against her body once more.
She felt the gentle touch as Jefferson murmured those words softly. She knew the tears were quietly making trails down her cheeks as the words touched her. She had already made her choice long ago and yesterday had only just shown her how worthless she really was. Bowing her head as she shook it slowly back and forth, she wasn't going to chance her mind and none of them could force her to lead them. She only made them weak and a weak leader made the pack a target for the thirst of others. When he moved off to the side to sit along the porch, so close and yet far enough for her to still be standing alone she listened for the pawpads of the others.
Normally she would have been glaring at Lucifer, expecting some disrepectful roll of his eyes or show of how little he cared for this pack and the Matriarch.. but none came because she couldn't see them even if the gestures were made. She never once turned around when the loud and seemingly over cheery voice of Pendzez called out to the quiet group. If she'd been another in the crowd she probably would have laughed when Tyrone hissed for silence to the larger packmate. Those pups would be the death of them all with all the energy and trouble they never seemed to stop getting into. She wished she could see it.. but she knew better than anyone she would never.
When it seemed that they had all joined, minus the large greyscaled teddybear of a fellow to whom she'd already spoken with, Iskata ran her paws across the boards before her. DaVinci had to have lifted her up onto the bench she sat on, her mangled hindlegs making nothing easy on the woman.. and she refused to shift into her luperci form, as well as strict orders from Deuce not to until the stitches were cut lose. She was looking for the words to speak to them and yet they failed. She tried again and quietly the words came. "I called you all here because I can no longer be a part of the Council. I can not lead as your Matriarch anymore..." She closed her eyes as a shuddering sob broke through her defenses.
She was such a liar and it was so obvious now. She didn't want to leave her post, she didn't want to retire into a rank with no duties or responsiblities. She wanted to be right where she was from the beginning. She wanted to lead right beside Deuce as they'd dreamed it so in the summer nights. Fate had twisted her dreams into nightmares and she had to bow to the truth of it all. She had no clue how the pack would accept it.. she could guess that little would really change.. but to her it felt like the whole world had.
She felt the gentle touch as Jefferson murmured those words softly. She knew the tears were quietly making trails down her cheeks as the words touched her. She had already made her choice long ago and yesterday had only just shown her how worthless she really was. Bowing her head as she shook it slowly back and forth, she wasn't going to chance her mind and none of them could force her to lead them. She only made them weak and a weak leader made the pack a target for the thirst of others. When he moved off to the side to sit along the porch, so close and yet far enough for her to still be standing alone she listened for the pawpads of the others.
Normally she would have been glaring at Lucifer, expecting some disrepectful roll of his eyes or show of how little he cared for this pack and the Matriarch.. but none came because she couldn't see them even if the gestures were made. She never once turned around when the loud and seemingly over cheery voice of Pendzez called out to the quiet group. If she'd been another in the crowd she probably would have laughed when Tyrone hissed for silence to the larger packmate. Those pups would be the death of them all with all the energy and trouble they never seemed to stop getting into. She wished she could see it.. but she knew better than anyone she would never.
When it seemed that they had all joined, minus the large greyscaled teddybear of a fellow to whom she'd already spoken with, Iskata ran her paws across the boards before her. DaVinci had to have lifted her up onto the bench she sat on, her mangled hindlegs making nothing easy on the woman.. and she refused to shift into her luperci form, as well as strict orders from Deuce not to until the stitches were cut lose. She was looking for the words to speak to them and yet they failed. She tried again and quietly the words came. "I called you all here because I can no longer be a part of the Council. I can not lead as your Matriarch anymore..." She closed her eyes as a shuddering sob broke through her defenses.
She was such a liar and it was so obvious now. She didn't want to leave her post, she didn't want to retire into a rank with no duties or responsiblities. She wanted to be right where she was from the beginning. She wanted to lead right beside Deuce as they'd dreamed it so in the summer nights. Fate had twisted her dreams into nightmares and she had to bow to the truth of it all. She had no clue how the pack would accept it.. she could guess that little would really change.. but to her it felt like the whole world had.