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At first the coward drew its ugly heard from her depths, from which she had pushed it so long ago. It had been buried when she had become settled and secure in her place and rank, but as she thought of the possibilities that ran wildly through her mind it spoke once again. Run it said. Her brow furrowed as she screamed for it to be silent. There was no running, no wandering away from the fear that clung to her heart. Fear that crawled into her throat and clutched at her windpipe, making her breaths heavy.
Instead of running, she walked stiffly and was purpose. Her paws fell heavily in the light snow; it would have been more fitting if it were hard with ice, slowing and making her progress difficult. Instead it only softened her path, making her harsh paw steps unnecessary. The wind clipped her back, drawing her mane around her face and a chill down her spine. Even with all the hate that boiled in her stomach, it still froze her skin as it passed over her.
Where was she going? Even as she walked there was no true sense in her direction. Her only thought was to find the only wolf that would have any answers for her. Of course she wasn’t even sure she would be able to form a full sentence. The questions had jumbled her speech when she had spoken with her daughter, but still she had been able to make them sensible.
The entrance of their home cave came into view, sparking her awake. She had direction after all. The blue eyed fey approached the doorway, blinking hard Anu called out into the darkness. Nani? The name was forced, and held everything that had been bottled inside, even if only two syllables.
It was full of, why? The question was the biggest in the long list that only grew and grew as the seconds ticked away. Anger and sadness also mingled with her earnest questions. Anu needed to know, had to know. It was full of insecurity; her feeling of worthlessness only grew, making the need to flee just as large. It was full of fear, at most. Fear of loosing everything that she held dear, fear of pushing it away and fear of it being ripped out of the ties had been used to bind it to her heart.
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