I touched her with a trembling hand,
I choked,
I could not say goodbye,
No matter how hard I tried
As her words were spoken, in the voice that thrilled Anu and sent her back to the moment she held her, she listened with a finger tracing the scar the laced her leg. Hidden under her fur it was one long line that had healed many years ago, but still it would remain with her until the end. What if Nani would never be rid of the scars he had left? Suddenly Anu felt the pending urge to cry, with the thoughts of the pale fey filling her mind. Blue eyes looked to the dark hues in Geneva’s fur, tracing them across her cheeks and over her eyes. All that he had done, and the forgiveness she was withholding. All the things that kept her heart beating.
It was moments like the one that unraveling within Anu that made Geneva her savior. She knew how to bring her back. Knew how to take her breath and replace it with her own life giving air. To break the cycle, Anu would have to forgive. And such a thing was possible. If Geneva could forgive her, let her leave without hating her for the love that Anu wanted to give but couldn’t and for everything that she had placed on her shoulders. It was only then that Anu would happily forgive, and easily let everything that he had done fall to the wind.
She breathed heavily, letting the tension ease from her shoulders. Forgive me, her eyes pleaded. It was most important, that very moment, for Geneva to not make Anu feel that way she did. But still Anu found what she held in the other’s eyes. Every second that passed there was a tension the Geneva possessed,just as she did the first night they stood out in the ocean air. A battle that raged insider her own heart, it kept the distance between them and gave Geneva the rational voice Anu envied.
Why would there always be fighting? Internal or not. I hope I can forgive him. She spoke before her thoughts became to intense for her to manage. Her strength was returning, as they had when she had realized that she hadn’t lost her to the dark ocean, sure that she would be with her till the end. Though forever wasn’t a thought that frequented her mind, always planted in the moment and always living for something other then ever after the idea of who she was changing. The elements forming a different shape then she had seen before. She could look to the others face and see a soul that felt like her own. The only differences were ones Anu strived to become.
I think that I can. Her voice was solid, letting go of the pain she thought she would always feel. There was still a burning flame that twisted her, but it no longer engulfed her core. The wall no longer held her, and she could feel the distance between them melt as her paws touched each wooden plank. Her heart beat, thumping in her chest but its sound was silent and all the filler her head was the sound of crashing waves. Guilt, the imperative feeling that Anu so constantly felt pounded against her. Even with eyes on her face the wave came. And still Anu didn’t stop from lacing her fingers with the ones the hung at the others side. Curling her own around Geneva’s palm she held it for a moment letting what was felt between them filter through their skin.
I have to go. A hushed voice spoke, a tinge of regret lingering in the last word. Where, she hadn’t even thought of. But Anu knew it was right, knew that they were what needed to be said. Stale in passing they lingered on her tongue and tasted bland in her mouth. Everything that spoke so deeply to her, the air between them, their tangled fingers, blinking stars and pale moon said otherwise. She was a horrible liar. 700+ |