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"Hm... I... don't have anywhere else to go, really. I don't want to be alone again. I was by myself for such a long time... I figured any contact would be better than nothing, even if they don't like me. And I guess some of them don't mind me, because they don't chase me off or anything..." Coli pursed her lips, trying to ponder her situation through the hazy state her mind was in. The wolves she wasn't related to... they tended to treat her better. Alexey Koios was friendly to everyone, along with her brother Sankor. Those siblings didn't mind her company. Henratha Gyrkin, the craftsman from the mountains, had been perfectly civil and even offered to help her out. Deuce Rhiannon treated her like a daughter, when Coli had never known a mother's touch. It was sometimes hard for the fragile wolf to see that she wasn't alone, but already the time she'd spent in Dahlia had helped her grow, if only a little.
"It's just a mess, since there's so many of my relatives there. I thought I'd never see my father again after he left me, and he turns out to be the second-in-command...! And his bitch of a mate is younger than I am, and she'd just as soon rip my throat out as he would... Well, I dunno if they're still together, after she tried to hide her pups from him..." Her words slurred as she let some of the family drama tumble from where it sat on her chest, weighing her down. Was everyone's lives as messed up as hers? Did she have the right to complain? She had been reprimanded, scolded! for telling her new packmates what her father had done to her, because they claimed it was slander... "Does your pack love you? Maybe... maybe some time, if I get tired of where I am... Maybe I'll go to Crimson Dreams, and stay with you...!" She giggled, pleased by the idea. There were Sadiras everywhere, but few knew her since she had been missing for so long. If she needed a fresh start, that would be the first place she'd try.
Anu leaned in close, and Coli blinked in surprise, holding her gaze as steadily as she could. The sandy-blonde woman spoke softly, but with a firm conviction, and her words finally began to sink in past the surface. Coli swallowed, touched by how vehemently her friend tried to get her point across. "But..." she choked, blue eyes bright with unshed tears. The wine was playing havoc with her self-control... it was embarrassing to cry at any time. "But if I am beautiful, then why...? Nobody sees me that way, I'll never be able to have a family...! I'm already dirty, no male would want me after finding out that..." She hiccoughed, suddenly feeling a touch dizzy. She would never be able to pour her heart out without the wine's help, though... a mixed blessing, considering the slight edge of queasiness she felt when she moved too quickly. "And, and, I look just like him! How's that for irony...!" She giggled, too high, trying to hide the impending sobs. "H-haku..."
