04-07-2009, 07:14 PM
Since this is now in our field, I will give you my thoughts!
Appearance-wise, I think you designed her very well for her personality and such. The only thing I'm going to warn you is that it is pretty hard to find a chocolate brown wolf photo-wise; you'll probably have to have someone do some photo manipulating to get all the correct colors and the like since a solid brown isn't a common color in wolves, but there are plenty of people here who probably wouldn't mind, as it isn't too terribly hard.
Personality-wise, she will make for an interesting enough character, but unless you give her something to struggle about or something that stands out about her a little more, you might grow bored of her. She doesn't appear to have a "dark" past or something to particularly regret, nor does she have any skills that might shape her or goals that might drive her--you just need to pick out one or two big ones or a couple of each and see where that takes you. Also, it's pretty near impossible to have dreadfully low self-esteem and still be able to have a huge amount of pride at the same time. You could have her be really prideful, but a lot of pride can often be the sign of inner insecurity. Either way, one isn't just prideful for the hell of it. Give her some reason to: make her especially beautiful, etc. I just think you'll have a hard time keeping her personality consistent with that huge gap between traits. You emphasized that she was very fast--maybe you could tie that in there somewhere. On that note, you ought do something with the speed thing. Make her a really great hunter because of it, or something similar (since you don't want to stress strength). One doesn't have to be strong to be an archer, which you mentioned that she made her own quiver, etc. Just some suggestions, of course. Just remember that every personality trait someone possesses--especially negative ones, like low self-esteem, confidence, or depression--is the result of something, not just a sporadic emotion. Every feeling must have a reason behind it.
History-wise, it's... so-so. She's the result of a rape, which always makes for some interesting conversation, but is she insecure about that? Is that the reason for the supposed "low self-esteem"? Will she have a thing against rapists, etc.? Where is her father, and will they (or have they) ever met back up? It's also pretty big to mention that the mother doesn't appear to be in any pack, which would make her a loner--which means she could not "own" or claim land, unless she is stubborn or slightly insane. She could have a den somewhere that another pack put their packlands around, which would be fine. You might just need to reword some stuff and you'll be fine with that.
Anything in there sound like something you want to work on?
Appearance-wise, I think you designed her very well for her personality and such. The only thing I'm going to warn you is that it is pretty hard to find a chocolate brown wolf photo-wise; you'll probably have to have someone do some photo manipulating to get all the correct colors and the like since a solid brown isn't a common color in wolves, but there are plenty of people here who probably wouldn't mind, as it isn't too terribly hard.
Personality-wise, she will make for an interesting enough character, but unless you give her something to struggle about or something that stands out about her a little more, you might grow bored of her. She doesn't appear to have a "dark" past or something to particularly regret, nor does she have any skills that might shape her or goals that might drive her--you just need to pick out one or two big ones or a couple of each and see where that takes you. Also, it's pretty near impossible to have dreadfully low self-esteem and still be able to have a huge amount of pride at the same time. You could have her be really prideful, but a lot of pride can often be the sign of inner insecurity. Either way, one isn't just prideful for the hell of it. Give her some reason to: make her especially beautiful, etc. I just think you'll have a hard time keeping her personality consistent with that huge gap between traits. You emphasized that she was very fast--maybe you could tie that in there somewhere. On that note, you ought do something with the speed thing. Make her a really great hunter because of it, or something similar (since you don't want to stress strength). One doesn't have to be strong to be an archer, which you mentioned that she made her own quiver, etc. Just some suggestions, of course. Just remember that every personality trait someone possesses--especially negative ones, like low self-esteem, confidence, or depression--is the result of something, not just a sporadic emotion. Every feeling must have a reason behind it.
History-wise, it's... so-so. She's the result of a rape, which always makes for some interesting conversation, but is she insecure about that? Is that the reason for the supposed "low self-esteem"? Will she have a thing against rapists, etc.? Where is her father, and will they (or have they) ever met back up? It's also pretty big to mention that the mother doesn't appear to be in any pack, which would make her a loner--which means she could not "own" or claim land, unless she is stubborn or slightly insane. She could have a den somewhere that another pack put their packlands around, which would be fine. You might just need to reword some stuff and you'll be fine with that.
Anything in there sound like something you want to work on?