05-01-2009, 06:26 PM
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Heath said it like it was so easy and so simple. There was no internal conflict about this subject in the other male. Haven supposed he had had years to brew over this and make a decision. He had not. His rage pulled him one way while his normal self pulled him the other. Conri Church deserved to die, that was not the question. The question was if Haven had it in him to be the one to do it. To be the one to bloody his hands. The boy really didn't know if he could. When he got incredibly angry he knew he could. There was no question then. But when he wasn't consumed by his rage he didn't know if he could bring himself to do something so awful. He didn't want to turn into that man. That would just be doing what he was running from.
"I don't know if I could. Fuck, look at me. I can barely live with myself now." His voice was bitter. He was almost the opposite of everything he had once been. He hated it, yet at the same time he had no idea how to escape it. If it was even possible. How did you get over something like this? Maybe some were strong enough to, but Haven was broken. So broken he doubted most of the time he would ever be able to reassemble himself. So he just took another drink and tried to escape the crushing gravity of his situation.
Heath said it like it was so easy and so simple. There was no internal conflict about this subject in the other male. Haven supposed he had had years to brew over this and make a decision. He had not. His rage pulled him one way while his normal self pulled him the other. Conri Church deserved to die, that was not the question. The question was if Haven had it in him to be the one to do it. To be the one to bloody his hands. The boy really didn't know if he could. When he got incredibly angry he knew he could. There was no question then. But when he wasn't consumed by his rage he didn't know if he could bring himself to do something so awful. He didn't want to turn into that man. That would just be doing what he was running from.
"I don't know if I could. Fuck, look at me. I can barely live with myself now." His voice was bitter. He was almost the opposite of everything he had once been. He hated it, yet at the same time he had no idea how to escape it. If it was even possible. How did you get over something like this? Maybe some were strong enough to, but Haven was broken. So broken he doubted most of the time he would ever be able to reassemble himself. So he just took another drink and tried to escape the crushing gravity of his situation.