We Were Brave like Soldiers

[Phoenix]

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It seemed an odd trade-off, when Phoenix looked back on his tally of telepathic experiences. He’d never asked for anything like this, and if given the choice he most likely would have declined it. He’d thought he was a freak, an abomination at first. Eventually when he came to understand what he could do he figured he should use his telepathy to help others to validate his existence. And he had. He’d given a blind wolf a chance to see, told a female that she was pregnant when it was normally too early for even her to tell, helped two wolves master shifting, even helped Iskata regain her memories. That was perhaps the most rewarding experience, since she had become his mate and given him children. Without his telepathy he probably never would have had Ember, Icarus, Kansas and Firefly. But he had also accidentally raped the minds of two wolves now, pried memories from them without warning. He’d scared a small child that he had been trying to help. Despite all he had tried to do, the fact was that he was a monster and nothing would ever change that. Phoenix didn’t move. He stayed there, trembling, even though he knew Skoll had closed the distance between them and towered above them. He half expected the bronze wolf to exact retribution on him, since he knew he deserved it. Any respect he had gained in the elder wolf’s eyes must have been washed away; he felt just like he had the day they’d met, and he’d gotten himself cut up in the pack hunt. For that reason, he couldn’t bring himself to look his friend in the eye, at least not until Skoll asked him a question. Surprised by Skoll’s concern instead of anger, Phoenix finally opened his eyes and looked up at him. “No…” he said as he slowly uncurled himself and sat up. “No thank you. I… think it’s over, at least for now. I’m so sorry, Skoll. I… I lost control. I didn’t mean t’go inside your head.” His whole posture drooped in humiliation, his head turned earthward. This was not supposed to be how an alpha of a pack acted.

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