Coli flinched as the Lilium mocked her, but almost as quickly as the cruelty began to surface, it all but vanished. His reaction... wasn't what she expected. His voice held reason, and even warmth, a warmth she had always strained herself listening for and had never found before. A flicker of uncertainty crossed her expressive face; had she been wrong to distance herself? Had the darkness finally run its course, and now Haku was back to the way he had been during her childhood? She took a hesitant step, unsure if she should follow him. It could be a trap. She had sworn not to trust him. He couldn't be her dad anymore, after what he had done to her. But oh, how she wished she could still love him...
She had never been able to forget, to move on, because she couldn't dredge up the hate to want to erase his presence from her life. She remembered how sickened she had felt at the borders of Dahlia de Mai, when she had been greeted by Svara Thames and a pregnant Firefly Sadira - sick with fear that something terrible would happen to them too, but also undeniably jealous, that Haku appeared to have found a loving family without her. If he could not care about anyone, then it was understandable, but why them instead of her? And silly Firefly and her suspicions, accusing Colibri of joining the pack to make an attempt on Haku's life. Coli was always more likely to take her own life than her sire's. She was still naively waiting for the apology that would never come... It hurt her more that he had left her behind to die than anything else. If he had stayed... she would have too.
"It's... okay?" she repeated with a hint of incredulity. He was just teasing her, he had to be. She padded meekly behind him, tense with anticipation. She shouldn't let him suck her into his twisted games; he couldn't figure out the insurmountable conflict in her mind, or he would pull her to pieces. Still, she did follow him... "I... wouldn't want to upset Conor and Emwe," she blurted in agreement, head bowed shyly. He had bullied her about his sons in the vineyard those seasons ago, pushed her so far that she had promised to protect them from him. What a useless shield she was. It was probably better that she let them forget about her, rather than continually burden them with promises she couldn't keep. She would miss them, though.
Was she making a mistake in leaving? No, Anu... She wanted to please everyone. Her loyalties were torn. But the one person's approval she wanted more than anything else was the one person who would never give it to her, the one so casually leading her away from what was once her home.
