01-18-2010, 10:57 PM
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Conversing with someone his age, a girl with an ideal upbringing and loving parents, made the Caregiver’s feelings for Conor that much harder to bear. Striking behavioural differences were noticeable between the boy and her cousin; it was a little too apparent how one had been forced to grow up amidst chaos and instability, propelling him into a mode of imposed maturity. She should’ve discerned this before now; perhaps she had and merely chose to ignore it in order to alleviate the guilt weighing on her mind. But now, as Cambria further questioned her rapport with the boy, Lexey couldn’t help but divert her gaze from the Dreamer’s penetrating seafoam orbs.
How could she explain it? Ethics and morals were determined by society’s standards, forcing public opinions on citizens. She did not entirely understand the reasons why their relationship was unacceptable either, thus making it difficult for the Acer to provide her young friend with an adequate response. Granted, she once had played the role of a surrogate mother for the boy, but things had changed. He had grown up, blossomed into wonderful young man; one she had unwillingly warmed up to. Was it love? She was beginning to think so. At first, Alexey had doubted herself; wondering if said feelings were caused by a lack of affection, or by undisputable love.
With a sigh, the cinnamon femme gave a slight shake of her head. Oh, how she wished the words would come easily. She knew that, in the end, poor Cambria would only find additional bewilderment. “I – I don’t know. I wish things weren’t so complicated. He’s so much younger than I am, and I’ve been the closest thing he’s had to a mother... people just wouldn’t understand.” She couldn’t blame the little Dreamer for not seeing what the problem was. There were a lot of things to take into consideration; Conor’s parents, his childhood, how he probably wouldn’t feel as strongly for her if she hadn’t been the one to give him respite from all the heartache. And exposing Cambria to these things wasn’t such a good idea.
“I’m not making any sense, am I?” she finally added, pairing her inquiry with a sheepish grin.
Conversing with someone his age, a girl with an ideal upbringing and loving parents, made the Caregiver’s feelings for Conor that much harder to bear. Striking behavioural differences were noticeable between the boy and her cousin; it was a little too apparent how one had been forced to grow up amidst chaos and instability, propelling him into a mode of imposed maturity. She should’ve discerned this before now; perhaps she had and merely chose to ignore it in order to alleviate the guilt weighing on her mind. But now, as Cambria further questioned her rapport with the boy, Lexey couldn’t help but divert her gaze from the Dreamer’s penetrating seafoam orbs.
How could she explain it? Ethics and morals were determined by society’s standards, forcing public opinions on citizens. She did not entirely understand the reasons why their relationship was unacceptable either, thus making it difficult for the Acer to provide her young friend with an adequate response. Granted, she once had played the role of a surrogate mother for the boy, but things had changed. He had grown up, blossomed into wonderful young man; one she had unwillingly warmed up to. Was it love? She was beginning to think so. At first, Alexey had doubted herself; wondering if said feelings were caused by a lack of affection, or by undisputable love.
With a sigh, the cinnamon femme gave a slight shake of her head. Oh, how she wished the words would come easily. She knew that, in the end, poor Cambria would only find additional bewilderment. “I – I don’t know. I wish things weren’t so complicated. He’s so much younger than I am, and I’ve been the closest thing he’s had to a mother... people just wouldn’t understand.” She couldn’t blame the little Dreamer for not seeing what the problem was. There were a lot of things to take into consideration; Conor’s parents, his childhood, how he probably wouldn’t feel as strongly for her if she hadn’t been the one to give him respite from all the heartache. And exposing Cambria to these things wasn’t such a good idea.
“I’m not making any sense, am I?” she finally added, pairing her inquiry with a sheepish grin.