02-03-2010, 11:56 PM
She knew too many times she let her temper get the best of her and once more she felt the stab of her own words as she spoke them to her son. She wished as soon as they’d left her maw that she could take them back but there was no way she could erase what had been done. She let her shoulders sag slightly as she turned her eyes away from him. Perhaps if she hadn’t let her own mate’s slights get in the way of things she would have been able to know her children but they were lost to her now and she could do nothing about it. She kept her eyes downcast as Conor spoke, his words piercing as she just took it all in. She felt as though once more she was the Solum of the pack and she could only take the words he gave her with nothing to offer back.
She nodded quietly as he spoke, the truth of his words like a dagger to her heart as she felt one lone tear roll down her cheek and settling in her mane. She had no words to offer and he had none to share except official business. It had taken her so long to understand but now she truly knew that she’d lost more thank just rank when she’d left Dahlia de Mai. She may have always been the bottom of the totem pole when she lived with the pack, but she would have still been near her children. Her own selfish needs and wants had taken her far away and they were merely faces she knew but would never know.
She was for once quiet as he spoke on, there were no words she could offer him, just a nod to let him know that she understood. She could have told him how she would never have been stupid enough to be caught so close to Dahlia de Mai but she did not, instead she took what he dished out, knowing full well that she deserved the coldhearted shoulder that he graced her with. Perhaps this was indeed her time to start over and find happiness, however rocky any relationship with Jacquez could and would be. They were little more than parent figures, though she wouldn’t even tell that to Conor. She would love the children and she would press them into knowing their father, even if he didn’t want to know them. She almost didn’t catch when Conor was ready to leave, but at the last minute his words did register.
Firefly lifted her head and nodded once more, the tearstain down the side of her face apparent as she bowed her head slightly to her son. ”Be well Conor..” She hesitated before adding. ”..and cherish what you have..” She hoped one day that he would understand that she was sorry for how things had turned out but she couldn’t make him understand and she was tired of it all. She watched him with hollow sad eyes, wishing that he was going anywhere but t Dahlia de Mai.
She nodded quietly as he spoke, the truth of his words like a dagger to her heart as she felt one lone tear roll down her cheek and settling in her mane. She had no words to offer and he had none to share except official business. It had taken her so long to understand but now she truly knew that she’d lost more thank just rank when she’d left Dahlia de Mai. She may have always been the bottom of the totem pole when she lived with the pack, but she would have still been near her children. Her own selfish needs and wants had taken her far away and they were merely faces she knew but would never know.
She was for once quiet as he spoke on, there were no words she could offer him, just a nod to let him know that she understood. She could have told him how she would never have been stupid enough to be caught so close to Dahlia de Mai but she did not, instead she took what he dished out, knowing full well that she deserved the coldhearted shoulder that he graced her with. Perhaps this was indeed her time to start over and find happiness, however rocky any relationship with Jacquez could and would be. They were little more than parent figures, though she wouldn’t even tell that to Conor. She would love the children and she would press them into knowing their father, even if he didn’t want to know them. She almost didn’t catch when Conor was ready to leave, but at the last minute his words did register.
Firefly lifted her head and nodded once more, the tearstain down the side of her face apparent as she bowed her head slightly to her son. ”Be well Conor..” She hesitated before adding. ”..and cherish what you have..” She hoped one day that he would understand that she was sorry for how things had turned out but she couldn’t make him understand and she was tired of it all. She watched him with hollow sad eyes, wishing that he was going anywhere but t Dahlia de Mai.