02-11-2010, 11:53 PM
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| http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v515/ ... kka2-2.png); background-position:top; background-repeat:no-repeat;"> For Kae. Dated back to beginning/mid January, after the attack. 300+ Most of the time she sat alone, silent in her cave. Gabriel had told to her do as little as possible, which suited her fine for she didn't want to do anything at all. Even the thought that her home was in the middle of a war didn't seem to bother her like she thought it would. Right now, Rikka was too damaged to get on her soap box about what was right and what was wrong. Even if she didn't believe in war, how could fighting that monster be wrong? If he continued to live he would just hurt more people. Rape more. Maim more. Kill more. She had been lucky, all things considered. She hadn't died and the lasting physical effects of the assault would only be shown by the scars that would be left behind. She wouldn't be crippled. At least he hadn't...violated her in the same way he had her mother. Still these thoughts brought little comfort to her. She felt numb. Nothing mattered. She had been ignorant of the dangers and now she was useless because of it. She may have been saved, but it felt as if some part of her had in fact died there in the woods. She wasn't herself any longer and death almost seemed preferable to this static state. The woman sat at the back of her cave, propped slightly up against the wall. Her arm was a dead weight and the stitches on her back itched incessantly. She knew better than to try and scratch them though, that would only make matters worse. Dulled golden eyes gazed out at the gray world beyond. There was no sunshine to be seen. The world was monochromatic, no colors to be seen or appreciated. Rikka took a breath that hitched in her throat and she felt a tear streak down her face. She often cried without any prompting. It seemed to be the only emotional response she could manage now outside of fear. There hadn't been a single night since the attack without a nightmare. Rikka woke up with her heart beating as fast as it had when he had been tearing into her. She often thought she heard him or smelled him, even though she knew that was impossible. The blue eyes were always there, watching her from the shadows. Her head leaned back against the hard wall of her cave and she wondered if she'd ever get over this. If she'd ever be happy again. |