02-16-2008, 05:08 PM
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No, there was no where to hide this time. Every place in the past had something else associated with it -- ghosts, real and imagined, lay in the musky scents and dust, just waiting to join the laughter cackling in the back of his mind like an alarm clock he couldn't turn off. It was a jarring and disturbing noise that kept him nervous and fidgety, unable even to escape into nightmares. Instead, he was awake with thoughts and wandering through places he had never been before because there was no where left to go. The library was in ashes and he wished the house was as well (how many people have you slept with in there?). The caverns echoed with footsteps that weren't his own and his daughter had made a home in his den. The snow on the path was clean and undisturbed, but this was a lie: he had been here before too. Maybe.
He sat a withering tree facing an unfamiliar lake and for a moment felt as if he had really run away to a distant land where no one knew him or remembered him. It was just a moment though and it passed with the next breeze. Drawing his knees up to his chest, the tattered hybrid stared half-dazed into the landscape. He had avoided thinking about it for a long time already, but as long as he had a brain in his head, it was an inevitable exercise -- he would think and he would remember and his throat would knot and his chest would ache with memories. It was a confusing mess of things and he didn't know how to pick out the truth of how he felt. There were too many layers that he didn't trust and it was too simple to conclude that he just wanted someone to hold him, nevermind who it actually was. After all, couldn't that be interpreted as why the demon in his head had been so promiscuous? They were the same. And he was just a whore.
The scar over his throat pulsed even though he was sure it was just a result of his guilty imagination. Physically, it had already healed, but physically, all of his other wounds had healed too. It didn't mean anything. Laruku swallowed and closed his eyes. They will all learn to hate you in the end.
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No, there was no where to hide this time. Every place in the past had something else associated with it -- ghosts, real and imagined, lay in the musky scents and dust, just waiting to join the laughter cackling in the back of his mind like an alarm clock he couldn't turn off. It was a jarring and disturbing noise that kept him nervous and fidgety, unable even to escape into nightmares. Instead, he was awake with thoughts and wandering through places he had never been before because there was no where left to go. The library was in ashes and he wished the house was as well (how many people have you slept with in there?). The caverns echoed with footsteps that weren't his own and his daughter had made a home in his den. The snow on the path was clean and undisturbed, but this was a lie: he had been here before too. Maybe.
He sat a withering tree facing an unfamiliar lake and for a moment felt as if he had really run away to a distant land where no one knew him or remembered him. It was just a moment though and it passed with the next breeze. Drawing his knees up to his chest, the tattered hybrid stared half-dazed into the landscape. He had avoided thinking about it for a long time already, but as long as he had a brain in his head, it was an inevitable exercise -- he would think and he would remember and his throat would knot and his chest would ache with memories. It was a confusing mess of things and he didn't know how to pick out the truth of how he felt. There were too many layers that he didn't trust and it was too simple to conclude that he just wanted someone to hold him, nevermind who it actually was. After all, couldn't that be interpreted as why the demon in his head had been so promiscuous? They were the same. And he was just a whore.
The scar over his throat pulsed even though he was sure it was just a result of his guilty imagination. Physically, it had already healed, but physically, all of his other wounds had healed too. It didn't mean anything. Laruku swallowed and closed his eyes. They will all learn to hate you in the end.