I shouldn't have waited...

Angelique du Coudray · 04-07-2010, 11:28 PM

It was dark outside and Angel was half worried about Jeffersons reaction. Yes, it was wrong of her to hide it from Jefferson and Xeris said that he was an understanding man but Angel had put the pack in danger by hiding it from the leadership in general. She hated herself for doing such a thing but she kept it to herself for now. As she came to the center of the packlands where Jefferson usually resided, Angel stopped for a moment. The scent... it was different. Why? Where was Jefferson? Keeping it to herself while a look of confusion was evident on her face she looked for the cabin Jefferson resided in. Damn she hated finding it. She knew it was around somewhere.

"Jefferson?"

Angel called out as she looked around. She wondered if he was out on patrol tonight. She gave a sigh as she looked to the moon which was half full and halfway in the sky. It was not too late yet for a howl but she would wait about fifteen minuets before she would do that. She didn't wanna seem impatient to the man. He was an alpha. Surely he was busy.

(not sure where your character usually resides xD so I am making it up I guess.)

Jefferson Soul · 04-08-2010, 12:16 PM

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He's usually in the Three Moons Ranch. Typing this on a really awful library keyboard - forgive me for crappiness. It's really hard to type. >_<

He hadn't been back long, but it became clear to Jefferson that the pack not only heavily relied on him as a leader and guardian, but also favored his presence just being around. It occurred to him that it brought a level of comfort or closure to a few of his members even if he did not directly see or speak with them. Perhaps the cyclops had not realized how important he was to they, how disappointed they'd been when he'd suddenly up and left. Of course he'd come back, he would always come back -- but maybe that knowledge wasn't enough for Phoenix Valley. Maybe they'd just preferred he'd never leave at all.

What was he doing up so late? He'd already spent a night back at the ranch after his little 'vacation,' as Zynex called it, in AniWaya for a few days. What he had learned plagued him and the brute could not seem to find solace in his mind. There was no guilt for leaving, but concern for his members that relied on him so. What would happen to them if war broke out again, this time involving their pack? What would happen if Jefferson were to be killed by Heath or Miriette in the night without notice? How would they react if Geneva had to take over leadership permanently -- and how would the pack change without him? Would it even survive?

Such thoughts had spurred him to walk, and walk he did. Jefferson had never minded midnight strolls; the calling of his name somewhere near the ranch was new, however. The brute recognized the voice but not the urgent undertones in the call, and before long his glowing green eye had found her, gazing upon her without urgency or alarm. "Shouldn't you be asleep?"

Angelique du Coudray · 04-08-2010, 02:01 PM

Angel soon heard his voice and smiled seeing his face. She had heard he had left and didn't want to believe it, but was glad to see him here once more. "Hello Jefferson. Yes, I should be, but I could not keep this hidden anymore." she spoke as she turned her face to the ground as she tried to collect the words she needed to say. Shame and sadness was evident on her expressions as she fought for control of her emotions being that she was still kind of on edge since that night.

"I feel awful for not telling you earlier. We have had a breach in our borders. Not by any packs luckily. One loner. I had known he was coming when I first picked up his scent before he breached our borders, and thus I should have told you then. I don't have any excuse why I have not. Anyway, two nights ago he breached the borders and sought after me. Brutus was my ex-mate and he was insane and obsessed with me. He attacked me that night and ... raped me. Ty and Pendez came by to help and eventually Brutus died. I should have told you sooner and I apologize. If you wish to be mad at me, please do so. I deserve it at this point."

Her lack of honesty had been eating her up inside and her now falling tears showed it as the glittered in the moonlight. Her expression was shame, sadness and apologetic as she listened for the words from Jefferson and what his 'punishment' might be since she was used to an Alpha who delivered punishment for such things and especially with PTSD that she had from the whole event and even the first time with Brutus, it was difficult for her to get out of that train of thought unless she realized that she was in it which she did not in this point of time.

Jefferson Soul · 04-08-2010, 08:29 PM

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It was a lot of information all sent at once, the poor girl hardly giving herself enough time to breathe between sentences. Her story was quick but heavy and was an effort to fully absorb; when she finished, the Patriarch hardly knew where to begin. He harbored no anger, no sudden distaste for the black-pelted woman, but a level of sympathy did rise up within his chest. No, Jefferson had never been in her position, but he'd seen the aftereffects. He'd seen the hate, the seething red within the eyes of his children. They didn't know rape either, but they had been born from it. It was almost as tragic.

Trying to push away the sudden flood of regret and thoughts that filled his mind, Jefferson frowned and glanced briefly at the height of the moon. "Let's talk," he said slowly, gently motioning for her to follow. The edge of the southern Mirror Lake was hardly a distance away, and the cyclops spoke only when they neared it. "I'm not angry with you, Angelique. I have no right to be. You've already experienced the consequences of a poorly-guarded border. You know why it happened."

He bowed his head, lowering down to the edge of the dark, colorless water. The brute listened to the songs of their neighbor crickets, breathed in the cool, wet air, and exhaled. "You never told us something like this could happen. We could have prevented it. Hell, you never needed to be scared to speak with me about it; I'm not here just to condemn you. I'm here to protect you, too."

Glancing an earnest green eye at her, his scars frowned. "I'm... sorry this happened to you."

Angelique du Coudray · 04-09-2010, 04:32 PM

She saw the expressions of regret in his face and the sorrow and she figured that this had caused him to remember something that had come up. "I understand that it was poorly guarded but it could have helped that I alert you or at least Geneva of the situation so the guard could be increased until he was intercepted. For this it is my fault. I should not have hidden it. And you are right. I should not have been afraid to come to you. I.. I am used to a pack made of nothing but respect from brutality. If I were to have come to an alpha of the same situation I would have been beaten and told to deal with it and not speak of it again or I would be told to kill the wolf and strengthen my resolve. I am not the kind to do either so I left that pack and that was after the first time he tried to claim me. He followed me ever since." Angel spoke as she wrapped an arm around her elbow and looked away for a brief moment. She looked back to Jefferson as he apologized for the event that occurred and she sighed. "Well, what has happened has been done and I know now that I must face what will come. Puppies. That is if I don't miscarry of course." she sighed. She was not ready but if she did not miscarry she would have to make room for them sooner or later.

((talked to Souls admin account about puppies and discussing birthdays, players, etc. with them. So sounds like were good atm.))

Jefferson Soul · 04-09-2010, 08:26 PM

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Oklie doklies. Big Grin

Why had she even come to him? She'd mentioned deserving a punishment and Jefferson had refused to do so -- so she chose to punish herself instead. Her words were harsh, unforgiving towards herself: For this is my fault, she'd admitted. Jefferson's tattered and beaten ears flattened against his skull. Her thoughts were unhealthy, impure; the brute could only wonder if Aurelie had blamed herself too, the same way both Jefferson and his children blamed the cyclops for what had happened to the French girl.

"Forget about respect and brutality," he sighed. "This isn't your old pack, and I'm not your old leader. You're supposed to be safe here; I'm supposed to ensure that, but I can't if you don't tell me these things."

She resolved herself to the situation, taking tragedy in a rather unique, passive fashion as if it all had been fated to happen. He didn't like it, but there wasn't much he could change about it. More puppies? "...If that's the case, there will be room made for them and they will be safe here." He bowed his head, green eye staring quietly into the blackness of the wavering water. "You need to stop blaming yourself. None of this is okay... you can't keep pretending it was or beating yourself up over it."

Angelique du Coudray · 04-20-2010, 12:38 PM

((had ooc issue. Sorry.))

Angel had nothing to say about it for in all aspects he was indeed correct. Angel looked to the ground as he spoke and she gave a nod every now and then to show she was listening. Her mind was silent and she focused on his voice until he was done speaking.

"You are right Jefferson. I apologize."

She remained silent after this. This was not her old pack. This pack was more open and welcoming and safe than her other one was. The others here were more considerate and intelligent than the ones she had lived with before. She was actually grateful for this which caused a smile on her face.

"I am glad I live here."

Jefferson Soul · 04-21-2010, 10:28 AM

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You want to close it up soon, then? Short and sweet?

She apologized, and just briefly he wondered if she'd heard anything he said at all. A sad, small smile appeared at his scarred lips; Jefferson couldn't help but feel sympathy for her, knowing well the dangers of blaming oneself for what wasn't their fault. Although everything he had done he could not remember and knew it had been done out of madness, the Patriarch still regretted such events happening, and abstractly found ways to tie himself to blame. Perhaps he should never have left Clouded Tears, he considered. He might not have lost his memory, his family, his home--everything. Perhaps he wouldn't have ended up the monster he was now. "Don't apologize," he tried. "Just know that things are different here and relax. No one here wants you to get hurt."

His smile widened at the last of her words. He raised his head, the warmth of pride in his chest, and gazed out over the water. "This place has become a home for people with nowhere else to go," or nothing else to live for, such as he. "People live here happily as long as it's kept safe."

Angelique du Coudray · 04-30-2010, 02:46 AM

((Sure!))

Angel smiled and nodded as he was comforting to her in the least. "I will do my best, with the events that occurred to me, to make myself stronger then so I may help those that live here to be safe. With my first aid skills, I also plan on taking an apprentice, with your permission, to strengthen the pack in that aspect if that may be alright with you? I mean, Domonick has shown interest the last couple times I have spoken to him with him being new to the pack of all things."

Angel gave a shrug at this showing that she was feeling much better after this talk with her leader. It was something that was needed for sure. She leaned on part of her hip as she placed a hand there and thought about Domonick. It would be interesting to take on an apprentice and teach him about the basics of first aid. It would be interesting and fun in her mind.

"I must thank you for your help Jefferson. I must say that this was helpful to me. I will look forward to coming to you more often to talk to you about any problems or concerns I have."

((One post for each then?))

Jefferson Soul · 05-02-2010, 04:23 PM

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You want to close it up soon, then? Short and sweet?

He nodded--it was good to know she had a plan in mind, and that what tragedy had happened to her would not slow her down. It was good to know she was strong enough to learn from it and move past it, and the fact that she aspired to study such a complicated thing like medication--not to mention, take on an apprentice--brought a smile to his face.

"We'll talk about apprenticeship later, when you've shown you're skilled enough to pass on that knowledge. I'm not sure you're there yet." He was honest, but he was gentle. Setting herself to work with learning herbs and medication would keep her busy, and eventually this whole situation would be far behind them. When she was ready, by all means, her knowledge could be passed on then.

"I'm always here," he shrugged. "Whenever you need me, you know where I am." He stretched his back, preparing to go.

Angelique du Coudray · 05-20-2010, 01:55 AM

Angel nodded and smiled. "Thank you Jefferson. I look forward to the day for that." she smiled and as she motioned that she would be leaving. "I shall be honored to come for your council more often now. " and with that she shifted to her halfling form and made her way to the underbrush on her way to her makeshift cabin that lied on the other side of the building with the red ivy. She loved the colors of the ivy and put her shabby house there in order for the vines to grow around it. At least she hoped it would do that.

Knowing that she could trust Jefferson, with anything that bothered her, Angel knew she needed to have more trust in not only him, but in herself as well for being able to trust others. Yes she had a hard past but Angel knew that all needed to change eventually. It was a new start, a new pack, and a new life for her and it would all become good for the better.

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