the castle floor lies in traps

Princess Chance · 04-11-2010, 12:07 AM

[html]

300+ words.
♥ Yay, drama thread #2!

About a week and a half had passed since the night Haven had woken up with a bad dream, the one he said was about Drogon, and had left her alone in bed in the middle of the night. Princess had thought that nothing would be wrong after her had checked on the horse and then the borders, but something was still not right. The orange-furred Knight had been distant from her and strange around her since that night. At first, Princess had been hurt, because she did not know what she could have done to garner such a strange reaction from Haven. It was like her worries about coming to Cour des Miracles were coming true, and maybe Haven did not want her there anymore. It had been a big leap of faith in coming here without asking him first, and while she knew that she was still welcome in Crimson Dreams, the idea of that possibility was still painful, regardless.

Now, she was not so much sad as she was annoyed. The fact that he was still acting weird around her irritated her greatly, and Princess was determined to figure out what was going on with him, because there was something wrong. She started in the direction of the stables, deciding that it was probably the best place to look for him, since he was not at home with her. It was the first time she had been to the stables, though she knew where it was because of Haven's trips there for Drogon. She simply had not trekked that far yet, as she was still trying to get used to her new home. Approaching the stables, Princess peered around quickly, hoping that Haven was here and that no one else was. She did not want an audience. "Haven? Are you here?" she called, entering the stables.

Haven Aatte · 04-11-2010, 12:27 AM

[html]

DRAMA & Erin ramble >.>; 300+

His intention had been to put the nightmare behind him that night. To go out, clear his head, and return to normal. None of that had happened though. In fact, things were much worse, and it was no one's fault but his own. He felt like a coward, and he was one. The little voice of reason in his head kept telling him to talk to her, but for whatever reason he could not bring himself to do it. He was too afraid of how she would react. Though the way things were going weren't helping either of them any. Haven felt awful for being so distant, so strange around her. He simply couldn't shake the fear of her betrayal. It had happened to him before when he thought everything was perfect. Everything had been perfect with Princess, until that night. Now it seemed like despite his fear of it being a premonition, he was unintentionally sabotaging everything. It made him want to crawl in the bottle again, but he managed to keep himself from going that far. He stuck to hiding away in the stables and keeping busy with border patrols. The Aatte kept to himself, internalizing all of his fear and his problems. It was not good, but he couldn't seem to stop.

The Knight stood, morosely leaning against the door to Drogon's stall. He tried in vain to disentangle himself from the layers her had buried himself under. It was a mess and he couldn't find a way out. The stallion's ears were flicked back, unhappy to see his friend in such a state. It was more than that though. Drogon knew that Haven was being a chicken and running from his problems, and so he had refused to leave the stall today. For a moment Haven had worried that the horse was hurt, but when Drogon nipped at him when he attempted to inspect the stallion he got the message loud and clear: the mustang wasn't going to help him avoid his issues any longer. Despite his horse's noncompliance, he couldn't go back to the house, too afraid of what he could find there.

A soft, feminine voice broke through the silence and he started, knowing very well who it was. He froze, keeping silent and Drogon snorted in derision. Then the stallion lunged forward, whinnying fiercely and once again biting at his companion, forcing him out into the open. Even more surprised, Haven stumbled backwards, nearly falling on his ass. Jade eyes wide, his head turned slowly to look at the approaching form of the Chance female. He swallowed nervously, ears back. "Hey..." he said meekly, knowing his hiding was over.

Princess Chance · 04-11-2010, 12:45 AM

[html]

300+ words.

Princess was not nervous about the upcoming conversation, the annoyance she had felt for the past week or so having built up enough that she was not worried, even though she thought she knew how this was coming to end. She almost decided that it would have been a good idea to pack a bag, at least, so that she could easily leave if that was what Haven wanted. It seemed like that was where this was headed, because she could not imagine what else it could be that was making him act so strangely around her. She just wanted that strangeness to end, one way or another, because it only made her question what she was doing wrong. Everything had seemed fine to her before the night of his bad dreams about Drogon, and she did not know what, if anything at all, had changed.

Drogon's loud noise caught her attention and she stood, arms crossed over her chest as if she was protecting herself, waiting for Haven to say something. Princess wanted him to explain immediately, to tell her what had been going on, but he did not. He had to have been expecting this, though, because she did not believe for a second that he thought she was fine with the distant, strange behavior. "Haven, what the hell is going on? Do you want me to leave and go back to Crimson Dreams, is that it? If it is, all you have to do is say so," she said, stting her jaw so that it would not quiver and betray the strong outer appearance. Inside, she was a wreck in an unexpected way. She had been so prepared to confront him, and now she wanted to curl up and ignore everything. Princess, the headstrong and stubborn girl, was terrified by what he might say now that she had started it.

Haven Aatte · 04-11-2010, 01:11 AM

[html]

300+

He was exposed, fully and completely. Haven felt like a pup who had gotten caught doing something he knew he shouldn't have been doing. Aside from the pup part of it, that assessment was fairly accurate. He shouldn't have been treating her this way and keeping his fears from her. Wouldn't it be ironic, if by keeping it from her and acting this way, he had ruined everything anyway. A self fulfilling prophecy. That idea made his gut tighten. Why did he always have to get in his own way? If it wasn't someone else hurting him, it was him hurting him. The once proud Knight felt pathetic and cowardly, now faced with the thing he had been avoiding. It surely showed on his face, in his body, and in his eyes. There was no defiance there, no sorry attempt to remain cool and complacent. He was a sorry wretch, and they both knew it. Would she love him now? Seeing what a sad, sorry creature he truly was deep down?

Her golden eyes pierced right through all his barriers and he cowered under her gaze, shoulders slumping and tail curling between his legs. From the outside it probably would have looked quite comical, the large hybrid being so submissive to the smaller female, but for both of them there was nothing funny about this. He had screwed up. The male cringed at her words for they struck at the very heart of him. No, that's not what he wanted at all. It was the very sort of thing that he didn't want to happen. "No! Princess, I..." his voice trailed off, accentuated by a soft whine. Where to start? The Aatte heaved a great sigh, if possible his stature becoming even more diminished. "I'm sorry...this is all my fault." Not that she needed to hear it, no doubt she knew it. I was written all over her. She had every right to be mad.

"That night...it wasn't Drogon I had a nightmare about. It was you...us." He met her eyes for a second before his gaze dropped again. "You were leaving me...to go after Ares. Just like she left me to go after her brother..." Comparing Princess to Siobhan wasn't really a good thing to do, but in this situation it couldn't be helped. He wasn't really comparing them though. He just needed her to realize why the dream had scared him so much. It had happened to him before, and she had come to mean so much to him that the mere thought of her leaving him tore him up inside.

Princess Chance · 04-11-2010, 01:54 AM

[html]

300+ words.

She felt as though she had been slapped.

No, that was not true. If Haven had physically struck her, it would have hurt less than what he had to say for himself and why he had been acting so strangely. Princess was not sure she had believed him about the dream being about Drogon, but she had not expected that. What had even sparked such a thought? She did not understand why he would think she would leave him to go after the brother that had abandoned her, and she definitely did not understand why he would compare her to that other girl, who she tried not to think about. It was bad enough knowing that Haven had been with someone else (though she did not know the actual extent of their relationship), but to know that he was comparing them in this was painful. Princess thought that he knew her better than that, or at least thought better of her than such a thing. The thought of going after Ares had never crossed her mind.

Princess was speechless, caught completely off guard by what he'd said to her. She had been expecting him to admit that he wanted her to leave, for whatever reason. Now that it was the complete opposite, she was very much startled. "I have never gone after him before, none of the times we were apart, and he abandoned me without so much as a good bye. I left my home on a complete... leap of faith to come be with you," she said slowly, fighting with the words and trying to keep her tone even and not hurt. The part that hurt the most, she suspected, was that he had compared her to Siobhan. "I'm not her," she whispered, eyes turned away from him. "I thought you knew that." Princess hated to know that Haven was still thinking about Siobhan in some way, absolutely loathed the very idea of it from her core.

Haven Aatte · 04-11-2010, 01:10 PM

[html]

500+

The thought of her leaving him had never crossed his mind until his subconscious had brought it up in the form of that dream. And even though it was only a dream, the mere possibility that it could come true was what had thrown him so off kilter. Up until then, he had trusted Princess completely and that trust wasn't broken by any means, it was his own fears that had taken over though. It was irrational, and it was stupid, but he hadn't been able to stop it. All he had been able to think about was how much it had hurt when Siobhan left him, and by extension, how much worse it would hurt if Princess did. Even though he had never said the word "love" to the coyote girl, he had loved her. That love had been brand new though, and he hadn't truly known what all it meant. With Princess, things were more developed, more deep and important and he knew that if he lost her it would crush him completely.

His answer left her surprised he could see, but it wasn't simple surprise he sensed from her. There was and undertone of hurt and he almost shirked back, that not having been his intention at all. Still, could he blame her? No, of course not. Like he said, this was all his fault, the product of his own insecurity. Haven was about to say that he knew there was no solid basis for him to think she'd do that, but her softly whispered words pricked him and cut off his voice. That's not what he had meant to do, by saying that, but he had failed yet again. The Aatte hung his head in shame, wanting to go to her but knowing she probably didn't want him near her right now. "I know you're not her Princess. I know that. That's...not what I meant to say." He paused for a moment, chewing his lips as he figured out how to explain.

"It's not that I think you're like her at all, you aren't. It's just...the similarity of the situations frightened me. I hadn't even thought about it until I had that nightmare, but after that I couldn't get it out of my mind. I know I don't have any reason to think you would do that to me, but the fear that it could even be a little bit possible...I didn't know how to handle it." He doubted she wanted to hear any more about Siobhan, but he didn't know how else he could make it clear. "She left her home for me too, and everything was going so well, and then one day she just left. Nothing had happened, but she wanted to go find her brother. A brother she could barely even remember and didn't know. I know you're not like her. I love you more than I ever loved her, and that's why I was so afraid. I don't know what I'd do...if we suddenly weren't together anymore..." Jade eyes were fixated on the floor of the stable and he could feel the moisture pooling behind them.

Princess Chance · 04-11-2010, 01:55 PM

[html]

300+ words.

Now that she knew the reason for his strange behavior, Princess did not know if it really helped much. She wanted it to, but knowing that he was thinking about her leaving him and hurting him just like the other girl had... It just hurt. Princess could not explain the way it felt. Not only had she promised to herself and to him silently that she would never hurt him like that, she had promised Anu. Even though it had been a nightmare to spark his worries, she hated to think that he thought her capable of doing that. Princess loved him, and she had told him that already. Knowing that he even so much as considered that a possibility made her wonder if she had not shown it enough. As far as she was concerned, she was going nowhere, but maybe she had not done enough to prove that to him. She did not know how or what to do to show him.

"Ares left months before I came here," — so if she had wanted to follow him, she could have before coming to Cour des Miracles in the first place — "and I came here because I wanted to. I want to be with you, Haven." He had not asked this of her. Leaving her pack and home to be with him had been her idea alone, as he had not even suggested it. If she had wanted to go after her brother for whatever reason, she would have done so shortly after his departure so that he would not be too far away and hard to find. She had not wanted to, though. She still did not want to. Though the anger and the hurt had faded, Princess had realized that his actions had broken them apart. Even if he were to come back, they would not be close again, and she doubted she wanted that, anyway. "I'm not going anywhere. I'm not going to leave you," she said evenly, golden eyes lifting to look at him, as if challnging him to argue with her that she was wrong or that she couldn't possibly know that yet. She did know that, and she was not going to leave him.

Haven Aatte · 04-11-2010, 02:23 PM

[html]

300+

It wasn't her problem, it was his problem, and he hated getting the feeling that he had made her feel bad. Throughout knowing each other, he had always been the strong one. He had been scared or nervous at times, but he had never let it show. Haven had been the pillar that she could lean against and now she was seeing that pillar wasn't really as strong as she had thought. The man did his best to hide his insecurities and weaknesses. It wasn't only a part of his job but he wanted people to view him as strong. He wanted people to see him and know that they could depend upon him to do what was right. That veneer hadn't cracked in a long time, but it was crumbled now. What Princess was seeing now was more akin to what he had been before Cour des Miracles had been founded. A pathetic scared boy who was all kinds of mixed up. Haven wanted to be forever strong in her eyes, but he couldn't be. It was too much to ask of him, of anyone.

Her words entered his ears, but he still couldn't bring himself to look up at her. Yes, if she had wanted to go after Ares, she probably already would have. That was what was logical. However, with the Siobhan situation, it hadn't been logical at all. She hadn't even had a bond with her brother, and she left anyway. Princess did have a bond with Ares, even if he had broken it by leaving. Haven understood better than most how strong that sibling bond was and he just didn't know if his bond with her could compete with that. He wanted it to be stronger, but he'd been proven wrong in the past. The last thing he wanted was for history to repeat itself.

When she finished speaking he slowly managed to look back up to her, his posture still submissive and his eyes still holding a shamed and guilty light. "I didn't mean to question you," he said softly. His own imagination had run away with him, it had nothing to do with her. "I'm not perfect Princess. I was broken in the past and while I do a fairly good job of covering up the cracks, they're still there." Haven looked away briefly again, hesitantly meeting her gaze once more. "I'm sorry about this. It wasn't a problem with you, it was a problem with me. I was wrong to not talk to you about right away, but I was scared." He wanted her forgiveness, but even he wasn't sure if he deserved it.

Princess Chance · 04-11-2010, 02:39 PM

[html]

300+ words.

Having known how much he had been hurt by Siobhan before, Princess wanted so much to believe that she should not be upset by his worry, that it was a perfectly understandable fear for him to have. While she knew that this was true, she just could not help but be hurt by this. In some ways, she wished that Siobhan had never left him so that he would not have been hurt, but at the moment the thought crossed her mind, she pushed it away. If she had never left him, Princess would not be with him. If Siobhan had never been there in the first place, Princess did not know if she would have even met Haven and if they would have done what they had done on their first encounter. They would not be where they were today, even if the specific day was not particularly pleasant. She almost wished the girl would come back so that Princess could make her realize how much she had hurt Haven and the wonderful man she had given up by leaving.

She believed him when he said it was not her. Princess did not think she had ever given him a reason to think that she would choose Ares over him—just the opposite, actually. Even though her brother had not wanted her to, Princess had continued to see the Knight. She understood that he had been hurt before, she really did. She just wished he could put that behind him completely and realize that it was not going to happen again. Princess simply wouldn't let it. "I don't really know what to..." She paused. She really didn't know what to say now. "I just wish you could... forget her, I guess, and what she did. I know it's not likely to happen," she added, before he had the chance to say that it could not possibly become reality. "I just... want you to know and see that I'm not going to hurt you, Haven. I love you."

Haven Aatte · 04-11-2010, 02:58 PM

[html]

300+

He knew it wouldn't be easy for her to understand exactly why it had scared him like it had. The only way she would be able to was if she too had been left and abandoned by someone she loved romantically. Even if that would have made this situation easier to resolve, he would never wish that on her. That pain had been horrible, it had made him angry one moment and so sad he was weeping the next. He had punched his King in the face and he had returned to alcohol to help numb the pain of it all. It was lucky that Princess had come along otherwise who knows how much farther the hybrid would have fallen. The only way she would ever experience that pain was if he did it to her, and he never would. Haven would rather die than do something so cruel to her. He may have messed up, and inadvertently hurt her now, but he would never do that. He would never leave her either.

Princess wasn't the only one who wished that he could forget Siobhan and the way she had hurt him. He had been wishing that from the moment she had walked out the door. It simply wasn't possible though. Haven could put it behind him and move forward, but he could never completely forget it. The coyote had been his first love and his first heartache. Forgetting it wasn't an option. "I can't forget it, or her, but I can move forward. This was a slip-up. I stumbled, but I don't want it to happen again. I don't want to put you through this again." Even if he couldn't be motivated for himself alone, he could be motivated by the need to make her happy and to protect her, even from himself. "I didn't think you would. I really didn't. It was just...one of those things. It just hit me and I couldn't get away from it. I'm sorry. I love you too, more than I can say." Haven tried to manage a smile at her, but it probably ended up looking more like an uneasy grimace. "Can you forgive me?"

Princess Chance · 04-11-2010, 03:27 PM

[html]

300+ words.

Princess wished that she could understand how much it had hurt Haven for the other girl to leave, but she simply could not. She had been left, abandoned, and pushed away many times in her life, but not by anyone in a romantic way. It had hurt her each time, but it was in a way that was vastly different from the way Haven had been hurt by Siobhan's leaving. Princess had been privy to the aftermath of all of that, and though she was glad for the outcome, it had not been a good state for him to be in. She did not want to see him in such a state again ever, if she could help it, and she was certain that she could. The Chance woman did not ever want to cause him the pain she had seen in him once he had explained everything to her. Never did she want to cause anyone pain like that, especially him. Haven Aatte was far too important to her for there to be any risk of her causing him more pain.

It had not been a logical thought, the way that she had wanted him to forget everything about Siobhan and the grief she had caused him. Princess knew that it was impossible, but it did not stop her from wishing it to be something that Haven could do for her. At the very least, she wanted him to move on completely and for there not to be any more "slip-up"s like this one. For all that it was worth, she did not think she could stand to be with him if he didn't move on completely. She hoped that he would, and soon, so that nothing like this would happen again. Nodding, the motion very small and almost insecure, she said in a tone as small as her nod, "Yes, but if something like this happens again... Please talk to me. Don't leave me wondring what I did wrong. I couldn't bear that again."

Haven Aatte · 04-11-2010, 03:47 PM

[html]

300+

He didn't want to feel this way again, that was for sure. Panic was not something that Haven handled well, and that was what he had done that night. He had panicked, and really he had been panicking ever since. It had been completely irrational and he hated that his fears had gotten the better of him like that. Not only because it had hurt him, but it had hurt Princess, and it had hurt their relationship. Haven hated that, hated that he was the reason that they were taking a step backwards. What he wasn't sure about was how big of a step it was. Hopefully they would be able to recover soon, to go back to normal. That's what he wanted. He wanted to put all this behind them. He wanted to show her how much he loved her and trusted her. He was supposed to be the good thing in her life, not someone who hurt her again. Honestly he wanted to let Drogon give him a few good bites so he could really learn his lesson.

The only thing that the Aatte needed to get past was his fear of being left. It wasn't Siobhan herself that he had to get over. His love for her had died when she had left him. He remembered vividly taking everything she had left behind and throwing it in the surf, washing her out of his house and his life for good. Hopefully Princess knew that he didn't still think about her, especially not fondly. The only one who lived in his heart was her. "I will, I promise. I'm so sorry I made you feel like this. You haven't done anything wrong with me. I feel horrible that I made you think that..." Once again Haven wanted to go to her, to hug her and hold her close and to know that they were going to make it out of this alright. He remained still though, not feeling like he had the right to impose himself on her. It was her decision and he would wait for her to be ready again.

Princess Chance · 04-11-2010, 04:10 PM

[html]

300+ words.

Everything about her had been laid out before him a long time ago, and as far as she knew, there were no secrets she kept from him. She had told him everything about her life when he had come to Crimson Dreams to talk to her, such a long time ago. What she had done and what she felt, Princess told him. She had always been very loud and opinionated, hardly ever keeping to herself like she had done for a bit of time before finally taking that leap and coming to be with him. Princess only wanted him to know what she was feeling every day. She did not want to keep anything from him, ever. She wished more than anything she could completely understand what he felt, but it was not possible, she could only assume. The gap that sat every day between their experiences in life and in love would not enable her to know those feelings.

Princess said nothing more, as she did not know what else could be said now. She now knew the reason he had been acting so strangely around her, and though it had hurt, she could not question any longer. There was nothing more to fret over. Instead of trying to think of something to say, she went to him. Princess needed to know that everything was going to be okay from now on, and she needed to know that from him. Words could say it, but she wanted to feel it. Finally, the protective embrace she had given for herself fell away and she leaned into him, the strength she had garnered from her earlier frustration having seeped out of her. She needed him to know that this was the way she wanted things; she wanted to be with him, and she wanted him to be able to talk to her if something happened.

Haven Aatte · 04-11-2010, 04:25 PM

[html]

300+

Haven didn't believe in secrets when it came to a relationship like theirs, and until this time he hadn't kept anything from her either. Secrets lead to mistrust and if they couldn't trust one another then they would never make it. He wanted them to make it. It didn't matter to him that neither of them had seen a relationship that lasted forever. Haven wanted them to prove the world they had both lived in wrong. He wanted to prove that their love could last and that they could make it. This probably wouldn't be the only obstacle they had to overcome, but beating this first one would prove that they could do it. That they could handle their problems and issues and still come out loving each other on the other side. Haven had messed up this time, but he wouldn't let himself be such a wormy coward again. If for no one else's sake but her's.

She moved towards him and he found his breath holding in his chest. His body was tense, not entirely sure what to expect. Even though she didn't seem like she was, he half expected her to hit him and he wouldn't have been surprised if she did. He probably needed a good smack for acting like such an idiot. Princess didn't though. She just leaned against him and his body melted, his breath coming out slowly. Arms wrapped around her and held her against him. The Knight leaned his head down, planting a soft kiss on the top of her head as he often did. It wasn't until now that he realized how much he had missed being close to her and now he didn't want to let her go or push her away ever again. No, he would keep her close and safe from now on. No more foolishness from him would drive them apart. He wouldn't let it.

Login




Remember me Lost Password?