Time Won't Let Me Go
#1
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private


The window was propped open by an old book, it cover thick but ragged at the corners. The thick volume was something Anu had once wished to read, but the woman still could not find the motivation to learn how to read the printed pages. She could hear the voice of her father in her ears, telling her all the secrets to the plants that lived between the covers of the large encyclopedia. There was nothing that it could tell her that she did not already know, so instead of flipping through the pages Anu had wedged it in the window. Allowing the spring breeze to lap at the thin curtains, bringing the scent of tree pollen and fresh rain into the small and tidy room.

It tickled her nose, twitching her dark nostrils and waking her with an itch. It wasn’t morning, but late afternoon. The blankets of her bed were smoothed and tucked at the corners, not used much since the weather changed and the bed was slept in little. It was an empty place, without her once lover to fill the space. Her scent lingered only in the cracks of the floorboards, and deep in the kitted fabrics. A heavy sigh escaped her chest when she woke to the quiet. Why she felt the needed to sleep in the middle of the day could only be attributed to her age, for her activity hadn’t been increased and the weather was nothing but warming and fairly pleasant.

Still the Dreamer had to push herself to jump from the bed, the empty reminder the only true reason for her to leave the confines of her private space. Blue eyes blinked away sleep, and small paws tapped across the wooden floors and down the steps. Through the front door, and stepping onto the pour Anu blinked against the afternoon Sun. Clear fresh air filled her lungs, and though the day called to her Anu took two steps before lying once more on her stomach. The Lt. General rested her head on her paws, eyes and nose pointing out towards the world beyond her sanctuary. Yet, the wolfess found no energy to leave the comfort.

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by Erin<3

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#2
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yay! 300+


They were growing so fast, just as the last time. Ears and eye open now, they had begun to speak and were getting more and more rambunctious by the day. Well, Artemis and Silvano had started to speak, Parker had yet to say a single word. This worried the mother somewhat, but nothing else appeared to be off about her lightly painted girl. The same bright and intelligent light that was present in her brother and sister's eyes were in her's as well and nothing was wrong with her movements. She was simply silent. Parker was still young though, and so Savina would hold off getting too concerned until later in her child's life. Even if something was wrong, it wouldn't diminish her love for her daughter at all. Parker was her pup, and nothing could or would brook her motherly love and affection. She knew it would be the same for Kansas.


Her mate had come down to stay with their pups while she went out for some fresh air and quick drink. Artemis protested her mother's departure and jumped up, trying to nip at the ebony tail that hung over her small head. Chuckling Savina nosed the white and silver pup over and tickled her belly with soft licks. "You behave yourself, I'll be back soon." Not that Kansas wouldn't be able to handle it, she knew he could perfectly fine, but Artemis was proving to be a handful. More so than any of their other children, previous litter counted. She was a sweet girl, but the Marino mother knew that she was going to give her parents a run for their money once she was out and about if this trend continued.


Savina slipped out the door and stretched her body out, yawning widely as the toes on her front paws spread out, displaying obsidian claws. Shaking her coat out she trotted out and nudged the front door open, feeling the spring sun suddenly shine upon her, her dark fur soaking in its rays. She didn't get very far out the door though, for Anu was laying out on the porch. Smiling softly she walked over to her lounging friend and poked her nose between the elder wolf's shoulders. "Hello lazy bones," she teased warmly.


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#3
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<33!


Anu was met with the sound of approaching paw steps. They were light, and muffled by the closed door of the house. The creak of the door was then expected, and the wolfess only waited for the wolf that would soon either approach her or pass by. She let her eyes flutter closed, waiting the few seconds it took for the scent of the other wolfess to filter towards her. Anu felt a small sigh of relief escape her chest, the normal comfort that Savina brought her putting any small anxieties at ease.

The nudge brought her back to life and a smile filled her face easily, the first easy thing all day. Hey there. She responded, rising to a sit to greet the Commander. Anu touched her shoulder softly, returning the gentle greeting and blinking the sleep and tired out of her eyes. Her stomach grumbled silently, but the rumble could be felt easily and Anu was certain that she needed to find some motivation to make her bones not so lazy.

Savina was an instant provider, and the second in command commented with a lazy grin. I was considering a walk. She spoke as if her thoughts had been moving forward and much more active then they actually had been. She lifted a brow, the question if Savina would join her or not unspoken. If she wished it Anu would gladly lay on the porch until the sun sank below the surrounding trees and until it was time for bed again.

What it was that made the older female lack her normal amount of energy could not be defined, and she could easily blame the seeming loss of her last love and the walls she began to tirelessly build around her heart once more. Keeping it out of her mind expelled enough of the precious effort, but Anu had begun the construction once more and this time without much a visible fuss. So this was the result; lazy bones and a tail that wagged lightly on the porch, blue eyes looking at the sable face fondly.

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by Erin<3

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#4
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^^ 300+


As Savina's nose was briefly pressed against that tawny fur, she thought she caught something different about Anu's scent. What was it though? One thing came to mind, but she quickly pushed it away as something impossible. Surely it couldn't be that, and she didn't have time to ponder it any longer for the Lt. General had risen to sit up and returned the initial greeting. "How are you? You look tired. Not been sleeping well?" she asked, concern hinting in her voice. Anu was usually much more energetic and bright eyed than she was right now. Savina hoped that her friend wasn't ill or anything. Perhaps that was the cause of the unusual note in her scent. If she was feeling under the weather she'd direct her to Cambria. She wasn't sure how much her daughter knew about treating illnesses yet, but perhaps she'd know of something to help.


At the suggestion of a walk her smile broadened, tail wagging. "That sounds wonderful. Perhaps to the lake? I could use a drink." Being in the room with the pups, while she loved it with all her heart, could be a bit exhausting and a nice cool drink from Rabbit Lake sounded lovely. Perhaps it would perk Anu up as well. Without any further wait the Commander went down the stairs and started off towards the lake, pausing for a moment to make sure that her friend was by her side.


The two walked in silence for only a moment or two before Savina spoke again, unable to shake her concern over her friend's somewhat haggard appearance. "Things haven't been going well with Colibri...have they?" She didn't want to bring up a touchy subject, but she needed to know these things. The tawny woman was her best friend and if something was bothering her she wanted to know what it was and do what she could to help. Busy as she was with her new litter, she had noticed that the ex-Dahlian hadn't been around much at all in the recent moons, and the few times she had seen her, it had not been with Anu. It made her heart ache to think that this romance could have fallen apart for her friend too. Anu was so wonderful, why could these people never see it? Or take it for granted?


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#5
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It was so hard to tell and put into words what exactly plagued her. It was heavy in her head, a tire that could neither be shaken or slept away. And then it lingered in her bones. Not the pain that a dull cold brought to her joints, or after a hard run or chase. It was subtle and almost annoying in the way she couldn't shake it. But she gave Savina a hopeful smile and spoke, Oh, I don’t know. She spoke with a light tone, for it was far from anything serious It seems like I can't get enough sleep. She slept, it was restless and yet she yearned for the small amount of quiet that it did provide.

Anu was glad to be moving, her previous hopes of lying still no longer thriving. The wolfess rose, a small smile holding stead on her face as she gave her muscles a small stretch. How are the little ones? She asked with earnest interest. The mother would have some sort of story to share, Anu was sure of it. She had not visited the new family members too often, giving the parents the space the needed to bond with their young as well as finding herself trying to keep up with the pack’s management and of course her own wandering heart and now this new tiredness.

She followed, soaking in the warming Sun, letting her mind drift and enjoying the thoughts of Savina and her family. The pups were something that brought an instant and lasting joy to the pack as a whole, for Anu found nothing more wonderful then the small bundles of life. Her friends voice spoke up, and there was a deeper sense of concern on her voice. The Dreamer could not look at her Commander as she questioned her. They were feelings that she fought not to feel and though she knew that Savina’s worry was heartfelt and genuine Anu could not help by try to stop the feelings that rushed through her when she thought of Colibri.

No. She spoke, her voice soft and thoughtful. As much as it was an emotional tirade Anu had become more reasonable and logical after her past heartbreaking experiences. She had come to terms with her deficiencies, settling with the fact that she was lacking in some way and trying with an honest might to moved past it. Her thoughts drifted to her coping mechanism, and how she had run to him without even knowing that she wished for him to fix all the wrong. She has been distant, quiet, and has not returned to my room. Its been over a month. Anu spoke, still not looking at Savina and trying to be as strong as she could. It was the way of life, she repeated to herself. Lives drifted away, and she was just not strong enough to hold them close. Deep down, where bitterness grew along side resentment she knew she was not destined for love, not allowed to live completed. Though none of that was written on her face, though a frown etched itself onto her mouth. Her stomach began to ache, knotting at the thought having lost Colibri. She slowed in her steps, waiting for that pain to pass.


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by Erin<3

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500+
#6
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500+


Anu's smile reassured her, but still not knowing what was causing her sudden fatigue worried her. Still, her friend didn't seem particularly alarmed over her physical state, and so the Commander would do her best not to worry too horribly over her. "That's odd. Hopefully it'll go away soon. Change in the weather, maybe?" She knew that sometimes when the weather changed she felt more lethargic or tired even when she felt she had gotten enough sleep. That could be it. There was another thing beside sickness that she had experienced that made you more tired than usual, but once again she shook the thought from her head. Anu couldn't possibly be in that condition, it just didn't make sense. Still, there was a nagging feeling forming in the back of her mind. The evidence was becoming weighted in that direction, however improbable it seemed.


Savina's smile broadened as her friend asked of her newest pups. The mere mention of them enough to fill her with such love and pride. "They're doing very well. Their personalities are already becoming distinct. Parker hasn't spoken yet, which concerns me a little, but she isn't a slow learner by any means. She might just need more time." The mother couldn't sense anything wrong with her little good, and she trusted her instincts to alert her to anything that could be serious. "Artemis is going to be quite the handful I think. We'll definitely need help keeping an eye on her once she's out and about. Silvano's a little on the quiet side too, but he's a very thoughtful boy. I think he's inherited his father's intellect." It was a very diverse litter, more so than her last one. It would be an interesting time, watching these three grow up.


As they walked though, and she breached the topic of the Haki girl, the mood of their conversation changed considerably. Savina's ears drooped as her friend gave a negative answer and explained the situation. It made no sense to her, how Anu could have such problems with those that she fell for. Honestly, it made the Italian woman feel a little guilty, knowing how she had lucked out on her first try. She knew it wasn't her fault, but still, she wanted the same happiness for her friend. Anu deserved to have someone return her affections full force, deserved someone who had as big a heart as she did. "I...I'm sorry Anu..." she spoke, her voice choked with her sympathy towards her dear friend. "But...you deserve someone who appreciates you. You're an amazing woman, and if she can't see it, the girl's blind." A note of protective anger edged into her tone at the last words. She couldn't help but feel that way towards any who hurt her friends.


Hesitantly Savina looked back towards her Lt. General, pausing in her steps as the other did. Something pulled on her gaze though, something unexpected. There was a slight roundness to Anu's stomach that she had never seen before, and it was added to the evidence that she had already gathered. It still seemed impossible, but all the signs were pointing to something she knew well. "Anu...have you felt nauseous at all lately?" It was another symptom she knew well, and she couldn't find the voice to ask the question that was now blaring in her mind.


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#7
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aww, poor hormonal Anu Tongue


It would all settle, the feelings that hurt her heart and this unknown bought of physical tiredness. They were likely linked, one feeding off the other and making it hard for the wolfess to reach out of the darkness and return to her vibrantly peaceful self. She gave Savina a nod, lips curved in a small smile and agreed and it was likely the weather and that it would all leave her soon enough. What her body was telling her was that she was tired of all the changes, the ones that moved her heart as well as her mind. She merely needed to get accustomed to it all. She wished it would be an easy process.

The second in command was glad to have her mind diverted, thoughts of Savi’s puppies filled her head gleefully. There was an obvious radiance that glowed in the other female’s eyes as she spoke of her litter, matching the wide smile she wore. With interest Anu listened, nodding and interjecting as Savina spoke of the little lady-Artemis, I’ll put Mati on the troublemaker. The Church female had quiet a break after Jazper and Ghita’s brood had been born, and it would be good for her to keep busy. Her words were spoken with love, smiling and finding the topic one she hated to see halt. But when she thought of forming the painful words that told of her torn relationship Anu couldn’t help but droop.

Savina’s words were encouraging, thoughtful and warmed her heart. She wished them to be true, and though Anu always believed what her commander said to be honest it was hard for her to always believe the compliments. Her sweet friend could shower her with them, yet it still did not fill the voids that all of the females of her past left. Her heart was beginning to mimic Swiss cheese, and once again she had started to build the walls that would be used to protect it. Thank you Savi. She spoke with a quiet but heart-felt tone. Her friend always brought the light back to her eyes, though it remained slightly dulled by the topic. She didn’t want to say that someday she would find her mate, one that would never leave her or quit trying. She couldn’t give herself the hope, and so the words could not be formed. Instead she looked to the Commander and said, We will see if she regains her sight. Perhaps, Anu thought though it was not laden with hope, things would change once again. And for the better.

Anu sighed heavily, and if it had not been the question that came to her she would have resumed her faster (thought still lazy) pace. Returning to her health made Anu a bit self conscious, and she looked at the ebony wolfess with a bit of surprise. A bit, though that could have been seen as an understatement, but I assure you I will be fine in a few days. She worried that her age would make her an unfit leader, being the eldest in the pack not always seen as strength. It was spoke in her voice, hoping that Savi would not deem her unfit for her post. She did not know why she worried about such a thing, her leader had never said anything of the sort but the emotions came over her so quickly that she stared at the other woman as if she had just told her that she was no longer strong enough to be her right hand. She even felt the sting of hot tears threatening to well in her eyes.


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by Erin<3

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500+
#8
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;~; 500+


Talking of pups, theirs or not, was always a subject that brought them joy. She knew that she lit up when talking of her pups, and she could sense a similar happiness in her friend as well. Motherhood was something they both knew and both cherished. She felt bad for Anu, having all but one of the pups she had helped to raise gone now. Savina was lucky that her three eldest were still around. Cambria would never leave, she didn't think. She had never had a great love for going anywhere other than their lands and she could sense and see the budding relationship between her and the Nanny that was now mentioned. A soft chuckle came to the raven fey's lips at Anu's words. "Good. Mati will have to be on her toes, Artemis is a bit more ornery than any the pack has seen before I think." It was only a matter of time before a pup was whelped that gave the pack their fair share of gray hairs and exasperation. There was little doubt in the mother's mind that her silver tipped child was to be that one.


She hoped that her words did something to help her dear friend, though she wasn't naive enough to think that it would mend the fresh tears in her heart. Only time and distance would dull those aches completely. What Savina needed her to know though was that she was there for her no matter what. Also, that no matter what happened with others, she was of immeasurable value to her. Nothing would or could ever dull the elder fey's worth in her emerald eyes. Anu was a great wolf, through and through, and she was not only honored to have her as her right hand, but as her friend. "I am here, whenever you need me," she said softly, as if it were some secret between them two. Anu was a part of her family, as far as she was concerned, and the Italian woman would walk over broken glass for her family. "And if she does not she was never worthy of you." She didn't know if those words would be of any comfort, perhaps not, but they were what she believed down to her core.


The surprise that dawned on her companion's face didn't really surprise her. They had seemingly left such topics behind them as they walked, and here she was bringing it up again. It wasn't really her health that Savina was driving at though. It was something more than that, a condition she suspected, though hardly an ill one. Her suspicions were once again confirmed and she knew that she could not deny what sat before her eyes any longer. Still, the tone of Anu's voice seemed hurt, and when she looked back to her eyes she saw the moisture of sadness behind them. Savina rushed back to her friend, rubbing her face comfortingly against the other's neck. "Oh Anu, no, no, no..." she said soothingly. The strength of emotions only confirmed things further and she pulled back slightly to look the other woman in the eye. "Anu...you're pregnant." She didn't know how, she only knew that it was true.


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#9
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Big Grin


Anu had grown in a sort of traditional pack, were the alpha pair were all that were allowed to breed. It mattered little to the others, or so she remembered. For reasons that were and had always been far from her knowledge only one litter would be allowed. It was likely that resources were not as plentiful, not that it was simply forbidden. It stemmed from the non-luperci way of living, if they all bred then starvation and weakness would filtrate through their family, it was not always possible to support the ways of life Anu had come to know in the Dreaming lands. But that had been a long time ago, in a different lifetime. Still it resonated well within her, that Savina be the one to give the pack the joys of a new litter. It always felt right. This new brood brought no stronger feeling forward, and she smiled at the Commander as she spoke of Mati, and the little Artemis. Lets hope shes ready. Anu spoke with a bit a playful tone. It would be interesting if Mati could teach a few lessons, outside of things creative.

Unfortunately her uplifted tone and attitude could not remain intact for long. She did not like to feel so low when around the Commander, and did not like that someone she had thought she loved brought it upon her. Did the young ex-Dahlian want to do such a thing to her? Had she wanted to hurt the gentle spoken fey? Anu had welcomed her here, she had opened her heart, her life and her home to the woman and Coli’s warmth lasted only a short while. A candle that had been snuffed out far too early. But with the distance that she had given Anu, the older female had found something else to fill the gap. Even if it had only been brief. Savina’s words made Anu smile briefly, and she nodded. She always knew that to be true, always knew that she would have her friend at her side the moment she needed her. But the emotions were like a tidal wave. Rising and falling on her voice, and for a brief moment she drowned. Unable to speak without letting the floodgate open and her unhappiness wash over Savina as well Anu remained silent. Her thoughts would need to travel elsewhere.

Maybe it was that sadness that made her panic come so quickly and slip past her defenses so easily. Maybe it was because she was already wounded, and though she had thought that things would be better with each passing day, that for a moment in time she had forgotten completely and had been possessed by another in a way Colibri could have never had her, her heart still wept. Savina was at her side, her face touching the softness of her gray and tan neck. Anu leaned into her, shutting her eyes tight to keep the salty drops back. She was not going to fall apart now, she would not fail. Once Savi moved away Anu opened her eyes, catching the green orbs and feeling as if she had stifled the tears. Her words passed through Anu, and though said slowly she strained to repeat them, as if they had been missed. Blue gaze started at the Commander, as if what she had said was some joke. But her friend would never say such a thing in jest.

Her breathing quickened. And she looked at the other fey long and hard. She couldn’t be, such a thing as impossible. And yet, it wasn’t at all. Instead of feeling the panic return, and rather then scream the protest that had been her first initial reaction, the Dreamer watch her good friend with a loss for words that was more unique then she had ever felt. It was like there was so much inside, so many thing, good and bad that wanted rush out and be heard. Then, she blinked. The tears rolled gently from the corners of her bright cerulean gaze and the female gave one single question. Really? She would believe Savina, always, but she could not help but wonder how she knew. All of the what ifs and the fears had yet to hit her. She was merely in shock.


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by Erin ♥

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500+
#10
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500+


For all of it's traditionalist attitude, the Monti Sabini pack hadn't limited breeding strictly to the alpha pair. If Savina had known that was what it was like in most regular wolf packs it would have surprised her, but she only knew what she grew up with. Technically anyone had been allowed to have a litter back in the pack of her birth, but it was when the couple weren't a mated pair that things became dicey. That was what had happened to her mother, and while they had allowed her to stay within the pack, she had been marked as an outsider and the three Marino children as well. The Italian fey was so glad to be rid of all the judgment and hypocrisy of her old home. The only thing that had ever made that place feel like home was having her family around her. Once that was gone, there had been nothing for her there. Her thoughts were diverted back to talk of Mati and Artemis though and she couldn't help the amused smile on her face. "Yes, let's. Though thankfully she won't be on her own." It wasn't that she didn't think the Church girl was up to the task, she just knew that it would take the whole pack to keep her daughter in line and out of trouble.


She couldn't understand what could have happened to make Colibri withdraw from Anu as she clearly had. She didn't have to ask her friend if it made any sense to her, Savina could easily see that it didn't. True, when she had spoken with her the girl had seemed timid and shy, but if anyone could bring someone out of their shell it was the wolfess beside her. The woman had seen it herself with the way that Anu could talk to her own shy daughter, Cambria. Anu was kind and patient and always understanding. There was no question in her mind as to whose problem it was that had driven them apart. It was true that she could be somewhat blindly loyal to her friends, but she knew that Anu wouldn't have done a thing to push Colibri away from her. Whatever it was, it was with the younger female that the issue lay. It was really too bad, but Anu deserved someone who wouldn't run and hide at the first hurdle to jump.


The pronouncement left her friend just as shocked as she had been when she had come to the conclusion. Savina could almost see all the various emotions and thoughts whirling behind those sky blue eyes. Not for one moment did she break gaze with her friend, knowing that Anu needed her now and needed to know and understand the condition she had unexpectedly found herself in. She remembered well the first time she had discovered she was pregnant. It hadn't been so much a shock, for she and Kansas had been trying for it, but it was obvious that this was not anything Anu had strove for consciously. Time seemed to pass so slowly between the two females, and then large tears rolled down her friends face. As Anu asked her one word question, Savina nodded her head. "Really. All the signs are there. Your scent says it, your fatigue, your nausea, the swell and change of your emotions, your stomach. Everything's there." The Commander wanted to ask who and when, but she held her tongue, knowing now was no time for those questions.


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#11
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The world began to slip away. The words of her good friend falling from her ears just as she heard them. Yes, she felt it too. It had been like a sickness, fatigue that she blamed on her age, some passing upset that she would merely deal with and then forget she ever had. But this couldn’t be forgotten, no this was not something that could simply pass by and not give much of a second thought to. Savina’s words confirmed it, and still Anu needed a moment to convince herself that what the Commander said was actually truth. It was, real. This wasn’t a dream, Anu blinked thoughtfully in trying to wake herself up from a daze that would reveal the truth. But what she was let with was the very scene she thought she would to torn from. It wasn’t an escape she sought; it wasn’t a nightmare that she needed to be shaken from. No, she was happy. Something was building inside her, lives that she would nurture just as the Sun shone and fed her garden. A barer of life, and those lives she would be able to mold, and be the mother in way that was more complete then she had ever experienced.

Anu nodded, her tears still falling, but her mouth was now shut and her lips drawn in a hard dark line. There was something new coming to her, something scary and unknown. It placed a shadow on the happiness that was so instant and moving. For a moment, however brief it might be, Anu felt alone. Felt alone in this knowledge and alone in the images of the future that she created, small paws and little tails filling the corners of her thoughts. She had no one, no mate and the sire was not one she could readily call upon. No lover to hold her hand and squelch her fears when they came to her in the dark of night. As quickly as it came, it passed. Anu pushed it so far from her mind that she didn’t think she could ever believe any of those things again. It was wrong, that insecure part of her was wrong.

She sat lightly against the ground, her legs feeling weak and unable to hold her. Her eyes fell away from Savina’s face and she felt like she was falling from the high of excitement and exhilaration down into another valley of defeat. I didn’t think, She began, going back to that night, and searching for the regret that she had not once felt but was certain would fill her now. Still, it did not reach her. it was possible for me… to feel this way, to want something so badly and actually get it when she least expected it. But she didn’t know what to do now, and her thoughts began to race. It was only once. She said, her eyes still not reaching Savina’s face. It had been only one time, of course she knew once was enough but still it had seemed impossible for her for some time, whether it be her age or her choice of lifestyle. It had all seemed impossible.

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by Erin ♥

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#12
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mayhaps start to wrap this up, since we're up to the birthing thread now XD sorries I've made this go so slow :[ 300+


Savina watched silently as her friend went through her internal struggle to come to grips with the life changing news she had just learned. The Italian fey tried to imagine what she must be going through, to have had no idea that she was pregnant and not even thinking it was a possibility. Not having it even be something she had tried for. It wasn't something she could easily put herself in the place in. One thing she did know though, was that Anu had wanted pups of her own. The two of them had talked about it before, before she had given birth to her second litter of pups. The circumstances weren't necessarily idea for Anu's emotional state, seeing as things had fallen through with the ex-Dahlian they had taken into their ranks. Still, Anu had wanted this, and Savina knew that she would still want it now, even if it were a shock. What she knew above all else though, was that the elder fey would make one of the best mothers that she could ever imagine. In her mind, she compared Anu to her own mother, and there was no higher comparison in the female's mind.


The tawny Lt. General shakily lowered herself back onto her haunches and her voice filtered brokenly into the air between them. Savina watched her friend, and listened with rapt attention. It was clear she was still struggling to make sense of it all, and she couldn't blame her one bit. Savina moved, sitting down close to her friend, hoping to give her the strength and support that she needed in this moment. "Once can be enough," she said softly. Of course she knew that Anu knew this, but she thought perhaps she needed to hear it from another's lips. "I know this...probably isn't the way you imagined it. Not having a lover to share them with, but," she said, the tone of her voice lifting. "I only ever had my mother, and Ehno and Ghita. I never really thought that it was strange when I was younger, to only have a mother. My mama...she was so amazing, we didn't need anyone but her." The dark fey pressed her nose to her friend's damp cheek. "I know you'll be like her Anu. Your babies won't need anyone but you." She meant those words with all her heart.


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#13
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yay ^^ i'll close this <33

Her eyed began to dry, the tear no longer flowing down along her cheeks. Anu felt the presence beside her, and the world around the pair returning to the older female bit by bit. The air was still, the breeze’s rustling slowing and becoming stagnant, the lake sitting in front of them, its constant and stable nature almost as comforting as Savina herself. The lithe tawny woman leaned into the dark furred female, taking the support that was being given. She would need her, always, but even more now. Her experience would be key and her presence needed without a doubt. Her gray and tan face looked out onto the blue waters of Rabbit Lake. How many times had they ventured here for conversation? But all of them seemed so insignificant at this moment.

The sweet tone of her leader echoed in her ears, their soft weight falling lightly on her heart as she turned them over in her mind. No, it was not how she imaged it, but this was not how she imagined her life. This was not the place she had foreseen herself years ago, and Anu had learned long ago that where one saw themselves was unlike where they ended up. She knew that was the truth and yet she still felt as if she could control it and that it was a surprise when fate played its hand and the outcome was not as she had predicted. But this was not the death of someone, it was not a loss of something she loved but the creation of something that would need her undying devotion.

Anu leaned her head towards Savina’s, her feelings confused and uneasy. The nausea had returned, but at the very least she knew why it was that made her ill. The words of who had sired these pups did not go said, though it was not a secret that Anu wished to keep. Still, there would be silence and his name would not be mentioned at this moment. It would be the precedent of what was to come, for he would be forever scarce in their lives. Thank you Savi. Anu spoke, knowing that with those words that Anu took so graciously she could make them true. She knew that her friend would be there for her, and such a thing would always bring Anu comfort. Nothing else could be spoke, no other words able to pass from her lips. Her mind was confused and jumbled and she needed to actually begin to understand what it was that she was feeling, and how to deal with it.



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