You're killing me gently

Ember Phoenix · 07-15-2010, 10:09 PM

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She had come back with Bayard this time. Ember had gotten back to AniWaya that morning before heading out again; she'd checked on Lotus to see what he was doing and had made sure that he had enough food before asking her horse if he wanted to go on a journey to the allianced pack. The dark wolfess had received some sort of confirmation while in Crimson Dreams that she was carrying pups, and now she was beginning to feel it for herself. She felt more lethargic and heavier, her usually taut abdomen beginning to swell outward. She had felt her belly that morning, but couldn't sense any sort of movement yet.

Bayard moved at a slow walk, but that was getting her back to the Valley faster than Ember could have gone on foot. She had been trying to clear her head and spend more time away from AniWaya until she could decide what to do...she wanted to talk to Dawali about it, but wasn't sure what to say. They approached the border and passed it without any pause, entering into the territory. She would seek the gray wolfess out...this was something she needed to talk to her friend about. Geneva would help her make the decision.

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Geneva Stockholm · 07-22-2010, 12:05 AM

Geneva rarely ventured far from the shore since her son had been born. But slowly, Pripyat was beginning to grow. His personality was forming, and he seemed to get a little bigger every time Geneva blinked. She could hardly believe how quickly he was growing. He was her fascination, her wonder. She lived and breathed his life and wanted him to grow happily and healthily. It was that desire that consumed her now, and motivated her every waking thought. This concept even invaded her dreams. Her son, in her eyes, was perfection - a blessing she had not thought she would ever behold. She treasured every minute with him.

But, as Pripyat grew older, he was also beginning to assert himself. As the days passed in rapid succession, he began venturing off on his own and seeking independence bit by bit. He was not a momma's boy by any stretch of the imagination, although it was plain to see that he loved her very much. Still, Geneva gave him a little bit of the space he craved. He always came home to her. Home these days was the light house, and while it had kept him busy for a while, now the great outdoors and the enigma that was his father beckoned his attentions. Geneva could understand the drive of curiosity, but she hated to let go.

She had decided to begrudgingly give Pripyat some of the space to explore that he so craved, but she made certain that she was in the general area. Pripyat was intelligent enough to call her if there was any danger. And now that Jefferson was back out and about, Geneva was certain that he tirelessly patrolled the borders. She felt a little secure, although unsure of her decision. It was not long before she crossed paths with the ebony female from the allianced pack. Ember inspired a smile from Geneva, and it was something to consider, given that the only other being she had smiled for in a long time had been her son. Her smile began to wilt around the edges as she saw the troubled look on her friend and ally's face. "Ember, is everything ok?" she asked as she approached the femme.

Ember Phoenix · 07-27-2010, 01:20 PM

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crappy <33

She was glad that she had somewhere else to go where she felt welcomed besides AniWaya. After what had happened in the city, she was glad to be away from there as well...even though it had normally been a place of refuge for her as well. Perhaps she would just stay away from the side of town she had gone to that night. That night she'd had Naniko on her mind, and had wandered into the area that the white wolf had burned down to the ground.

Ember's foot was bandaged up courtesy of Clover, a coyote she had found up north of Inferni, but the wrappings were beginning to tatter and fall off from her using that foot. She'd been cut by a piece of glass on the beach, right on the arch of her foot. Another good reason to ride her horse places for now.

The silver wolf that she had come looking for appeared beyond the next hill, coming toward her, and she lifted her hand up to greet her friend. Ember was very tired from her trips around the 'Souls territories, and dismounted from Bayard with a slight grunt of effort. "I'm not doin' too bad. Hope it's ok I just kinda wandered in. Came lookin' for yeh a few days ago but Jefferson didn't know where yeh were at. Thought I'd come back. I came here teh ask ya for some advice..if ya wouldn't mind sittin' down an' talkin' ta me"

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Geneva Stockholm · 08-01-2010, 08:40 PM

The raven colored female's request was simple, but also couched in careful words. Geneva nodded her assent wordlessly. Of course she would help the AniWayan female! She had been a good ally to this pack, and had been a good friend to Geneva for ages. When she had first wandered to Crimson Dreams, almost two years ago, she had happened upon Ember. She was Naniko's half-sister, or something of the sort. The gray wolfess had never really taken the time to figure it out, and it hadn't mattered. She cared for both Naniko and Ember. The raven woman's presence made Geneva ache to think of the white furred woman, and she prayed that wherever Naniko was in the world, she was safe and finding what she was seeking.

"What's on your mind?" the gray wolfess asked curiously. She was concerned for the raven hued femme. She knew that Ember was strong, and there was something about her know that seemed a little bit off. She looked a little worn around the edges, fragile in some way. But Geneva couldn't put her finger on it, exactly. Geneva just hoped that whatever was going on, she would be able to help her.

Ember Phoenix · 08-11-2010, 05:54 AM

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She was more than exhausted, but her mind refused to allow her body to rest...even for a moment. Even when she stopped and tried to calm herself down after a long day, or after a long journey, she was unable to. More often than not she ended up on her feet again, wandering the various territories of 'Souls. She'd found something to focus on and her mind greedily took in the details of Geneva. She was very interested in Geneva herself...the new, odd scent that covered the female, the fact that the woman's body had healed despite its injuries...all of these things intrigued her. She wanted to ask about the silver wolf's injuries, but thought better of it. For the moment, at least.

"I..have something to tell someone. I don't know if they will like what I have to say, I'm almost sure they won't. But I don't know how ta say it to them. I have a secret." She wouldn't tell Geneva who the father of the pups was, that was for sure. She wanted to see the children, to look at them and see if such a thing would be noticed at first. If any of them looked like the demon-wolf, then she would know for sure. But she hadn't slept with anyone else..not for a few months, at least. These could not be Cotl's pups. Still, she found it hard to believe.

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Geneva Stockholm · 08-16-2010, 03:38 PM

There was obviously a burden weighing on the raven wolfess' mind and heart. It was evident in the way she spoke, even in the way she moved. Geneva's brows drew up in concern as she tried to imagine what could possibly be weighing this strong wolfess down. She had always known Ember to be sassy, courageous, and full of spirit. And now she saw just the opposite. What she saw now was a woman on the brink of defeat. But Geneva knew that Ember did not accept defeat easily, and so there must be a reason that she had come here. She fervently hoped that she would be able to help the raven colored friend and ally of Phoenix Valley.

"Tell me," Geneva said gently, although there was a weight in her words. She wasn't necessarily demanding answers, but her concern was evident in her voice. She could barely recall the last time she had seen Ember. The latest memories she had of her were murky, seen through the dimness of the day Jefferson had found her broken body at the Quarry. She still could not piece that entire day together in her mind, although some months had passed since her fall. What could be on her mind now?

Ember Phoenix · 08-20-2010, 03:50 PM

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She didn't know about the things that had happened to Geneva since she'd seen her last. She had always gotten along with the female and considered her a tie to Naniko, who she hadn't seen in even longer. Geneva had been Nani's friend, and perhaps she could tell her something useful. Jefferson had put some light on the situation when she'd crossed his path on her way to see Geneva a few days prior...but she wanted the opinion of another female, someone a little closer.

"I may be pregnant. I..do not want to end the pregnancy, and I feel that I would be able to handle a child after raising Lotus...but I'm worried about AniWaya. I can't protect it when I have to protect them first. I'd have to put them first. I..I don't know what to do. I don't want to do anything to hurt them while they are still inside" She explained in a rush. Her eyes, which had been fixed on Geneva's, flashed down toward the ground. She felt ashamed; she should have been more careful. "I'm afraid to tell Dawali. I still have strong feelings for him..though they are slowly fading..and I'm afraid of what he will say and think."

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Geneva Stockholm · 08-23-2010, 07:09 PM

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Table by Draggar ♥.

Ember unveiled the truth, bit by bit. She could see the effect that her predicament was having on the AniWayan. She wished there was something tangible that she could do to ease her sense of shame and the burden on her heart. But there was not a lot that Geneva could do that could change her situation. The most that Geneva could do was support Ember, and that was exactly what the woman intended to do. Ember had always been a good acquaintance, and later a good friend. Even if she could only help in the smallest ways, Geneva would do what she could to ease the woman's mind and heart.

"Don't feel shame, Ember," she said, and after a moment of hesitance, she reached out to touch the woman's shoulder. She wanted to show her that she supported her. "You are a very strong person, and you will conquer this experience. I know you will." She smiled faintly at her, trying to convey the confidence she felt. She had so much faith in the AniWayan female. Geneva honestly believed that Ember could overcome anything with grace and dignity if she put her mind to it.

The Whilom cleared her throat before she spoke again, knowing that she was treading in delicate territory. In matters of the heart, things could certainly get messy and confusing. "Dawali will think and feel whatever he thinks and feels...you have no control over that. What you do have control over is what you do next." Geneva knew what it was like to feel helpless and like her life was spiraling out of her own hands. She felt that Ember needed to be empowered to take matters into her own hands, and to handle her own destiny, per se, in order to move forward. "In the end, what do you want out of this? That is what you need to figure out. And if you need anything - a place to stay, advice - anything, just tell me. It will be yours."

Ember Phoenix · 08-24-2010, 07:38 PM

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She felt horrible for unloading all of this on Geneva only moments after she had finally run into her, but it had seemed to spill out of her. Ember was overflowing with emotion, but wasn't sure how to put some of it into words. In a way she felt like this litter would put a definite end to whatever feelings she'd had about Dawali; she still had strong feelings for him despite his rejection of her, feelings that she couldn't help...he was always in her head for some reason. And these pups would ruin that. She had to mourn the relationship that she now felt she would never attain. He wouldn't want to raise someone elses' pups, she felt.

"I think I have to give it up. I can't let them be hurt...I want them to be safe. It's my fault, all my fault..I was so stupid." She said. It had only been the second time that she'd ever had an intimate encounter in her life, and it hadn't been of her will. "I thought he was dangerous at first...I should have listened to my instincts. I tied him up..but then after I talked to him I untied him...and he..this wasn't my choice" She said. "I should have left him there. And now this is happening to me. But I can't let them get hurt..when it was my fault that they're here. Should I give up my duties as a warrior, Geneva? Would you?"

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Geneva Stockholm · 08-28-2010, 03:04 PM

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Table by Draggar ♥.

Geneva listened quietly as Ember spoke. And finally, something of the truth about her current condition came rushing out of her. As the words continued to come from the dark wolfess' mouth, Geneva's mouth was compressed into a tight, thin line. The Whilom could read between the lines. No wonder the AniWayan was filled with such conflict -- this hadn't been her choice. Geneva could not imagine what the experience had done to her, and yet she was still here, conflicted but strong. She hoped that the rest of her would survive intact throughout her pregnancy.

"You don't need to...tell me...who it was that did this," Geneva said delicately, not wanting to push her friend or scare her away. "But if you needed help in striking against him, I would want to know." Geneva, a typically gentle creature, was slightly surprised to hear the dark tone of her voice as she finished that last sentence. No matter what had happened, she knew that this was a deeply personal matter for Ember, and that she would speak about it again if and when she was ready. Although she always left violence as a left resort, she would easily turn to it to avenge her friend's sense of security and self esteem.

It was Geneva's turn to tell her own secret, it seemed. "Ember, I would do anything, anything on God's green earth to keep my child safe. I have a son, a young son, his name is Pripyat. He was born a few months after the fall." Soon enough her blue eyed boy would have to make his debut into the wider world, and Ember was a good friend. "You will not really stop being a warrior, Ember, because I don't think of you as a person to ever give up a fight. You'll just need to find a different way to fight your battles until your children come into the world. I have faith in you."

Ember Phoenix · 09-03-2010, 12:23 PM

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I must be dreaming or we're onto something

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ooc: I'm not sure what to have them do now :O

I must be dreaming or pinch me to waking

It was the fact that her life had taken a very sudden and uncontrollable change that scared her, perhaps. She had fought with the idea of trying to make herself lose the pups..but she knew that that wasn't a fair solution to anyone. She wanted them to be born, at least. So she would have to protect them. Now what happened after they were born..who knew. "It was the demon Haku" She said evenly. She wasn't afraid of his name, of saying who had done this.

She was surprised to learn that Geneva had a son; Jefferson had said that that Geneva had miscarried. She kept quiet, though, puzzling over it silently. The woman had wisdom of a much older wolf, though she wasn't that old at all...and Ember nodded in agreement with her. "I didn't know ya had a son...and you're right. I need ta put up my weapons..and just relax and take care of myself for now."

Table by Tammi!
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Geneva Stockholm · 09-14-2010, 09:43 PM

WC: 513

Ember made the decision to do what was best for her unborn children. She knew that it was a hard choice for the woman to make. She was obviously torn between two loves, her passion for the way of the warrior and an unknown love for the strangers housed inside her. Geneva understood her dilemma well: she had a duty to her pack, but she had an obligation to the innocent lives that had not chosen their place or time for creation.

Geneva did not know how to describe the way she felt when Ember revealed the name of the father of her unborn children. There was not much Geneva could say really, but she nodded as she digested the name. She had heard it before, and she knew that Haku had taken a large part in the Dahlian War with Inferni. His reputation preceded him. He had been described as an aggressor, as a blue-eyed demon. Ember was a strong woman. It was difficult for Geneva to imagine her being overpowered. She did not know what she would do with this information yet, but if Haku ever found his way into Phoenix Valley, he would have an unpleasant welcome.

The Whilom looked out into the distance. Mirror Lakes, the twin bodies of fresh water, were not far from where they were. ”Would you like to take a small walk?” Geneva inquired. The water looked cool and refreshing, and under the summer sun, perhaps they might both relax there. This conversation presented a lot for Geneva to digest, and she had to take it all in without sitting in awkward silence. ”Have you thought of any names yet?” she asked as she began to walk slowly, mindful of her friend’s condition.

Perhaps Ember had not even considered names yet, but the fact of the matter was that these pups would be a living, breathing reality within a matter of weeks. She wanted to help prepare Ember in the best ways possible. Perhaps thinking of moving forward and bringing positive life into the world would help her to embrace the lives that were yet to come. Pripyat was her miracle. She hoped that Ember would eventually feel the same way about her own children. The Whilom did not doubt the warrior’s capacity to love; she knew that Ember would love her children fiercely and protect them with every breath in her body. But she wanted to help her friend transition into motherhood, and to extend her happiness and her friendship as much as possible.

There was much yet for Ember to face. Although Geneva had been practically alone during the duration of her pregnancy, she had eventually reunited with her mate. She had that second pair of eyes to watch the son she loved so much, and so she did not worry concretely about his safety very often. She knew that Jefferson would grove to love Pripyat as much as she did. Jefferson was fiercely loyal, and showed his love in his own quiet ways. She hoped that Ember had similar support in AniWaya.

Ember Phoenix · 09-17-2010, 03:35 PM

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She nodded when asked about a walk, clasping her hands together in front of her. She did have a lot to think about, and she got the feeling that the pups would be there before she even knew it. Ember wondered what she'd do when they came...how often they would be hungry, how much they would sleep. How much time would she have to do anything, really?

"How did you pick your son Pripyat's name?" She inquired as they walked. Ember hadn't thought too much about names...she only knew that there were a few names that sounded alright to her. Maybe she would be able to decide once they were born. "Maybe when they're born they will tell me their names. I'm not sure how to pick out a name for something"

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