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The panic that had filled him had only grown the moment that he realized his father might not be in the lands. He'd ransacked the shack that he called home, raced across the borders and zig-zagged through the lands and hadn't come up with a single trace of where he had been recently. It was in that moment that he realized that he might fail his new sister, that she might get very ill or, in the worst case, die because Jasper couldn't even complete a task as simple as finding his own father. It was easy for those types of thoughts to invade the de le Poer boy's mind, he'd never really been good at anything at all, it wouldn't be a surprise to him or anyone else that knew him if he failed. Unlike most other times, though, Jasper didn't let the thoughts hold him back. He didn't give up. Instead, he raced out of the lands as quick as his legs could carry him, out to check the spots that he knew his father frequented.
Normally the quiet type, it all changed once he hit the area of the Moaning Woods. "Dad!?" He screamed at the top of his lungs as he barreled his way through, only stopping here and there to scent at the air. All it did was seem to discourage him more though, unable to find his father's scent anywhere in the air. "Dad!" He repeated, unaccustomed to calling Ahren that but giving it very little thought at the time. All he wanted to do was to find Ahren and get him back to Anya, to finally do something right for the first time in his life.
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ever know each other [ooc]
Yay! <333
I thought this might bring them a little closer to begin with. Jasper needs a sibling that won't torture him, or at least not for fun. xD
[bic] such a softer sin
It took a while to calm down. Her rage had taken her, and taken her hard. Now the pain was subsiding, and somewhere in her, there was a level of peace that she'd not found before then. Beneath the frustration, she felt a little piece of herself slip into place; at least she knew what she was dealing with. That was a start... if nothing else, it was a start at becoming less of the wreck she'd become, and more of what her pack at home had seen in her.
'That's not home anymore,' she reminded herself. 'This is your home. This is your birthright.' She couldn't convince herself. Her body was here... and her soul was here, or the part of it she needed, anyhow. But her heart wasn't. These... these animals, these monsters... they were not her family. By blood, maybe. But she was not related to any de le Poer. She wasn't. She couldn't be. Never. "Jasper," she remembered aloud, and it wasn't clear if it was because she considered him, in some way, family... or because she'd just realised that he was still looking for Ahren... and wouldn't find him. She needed to find the pup, before he ended up in Ahren's line of fire.
But first, she would need to heal. She went back to the place she'd left her bag, quickly, and shifted into her Optime form, pain arousing in her wounded shoulder during the shift. It was a longer process than it ever normally was, but it worked. Her shoulder wasn't badly wounded, really, but it was dirty still, and stinging. Once she'd finally completed her shift, she opened her bag, cleaning her wound with a bit of the drinking water she kept in a jar, and drinking a bit of it as well. She had travelled in this form most of her trip, but the time it took to walk was too long, and she'd had to shift back during one rest near the end, to make the remainder of the trip quicker. Now, back in the form she had come to find most comfortable, she slipped on a loose pair of jeans, fitting her tail through the hole in the back, and pulled her black shirt and overcoat on. 'Better,' she thought. She was so tired, and so sick, but at least her mind wasn't as clouded.
There was always something to be thankful for, even if it wasn't much.
She grabbed her bag, slinging it over her uninjured shoulder, and followed Jasper's scent out of Clouded Tears. The boy had left a very confusing, sloppy trail... but soon, she heard his voice. 'Dad!? Dad!' She almost smiled. He was so young, a bit more than a year younger than herself. She crept closer, her eyes glimmering with something vaguely akin to pleasure, and dropped her bag quietly near a tree. Those younger and less weathered than herself always brought out the pup within her, the young girl that she never really got to be when she was actually young. But he was young, and he seemed so serious... too serious for a yearling. She made a quick decision, and within a moment, she lunged toward the young boy, laughing as she called out mid-jump.
"Think fast!"
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He'd been so young when it had happened, barely able to shift. The night had been quiet and Jasper had been a much different boy back then. He was happy, curious, and much more outgoing that what he'd turned out to be now. It had been a lighter that had caught his eye that night as he slunk through his parents bedroom, the very same lighter than his father could often be seen with. Unfortunately for Jasper he allowed himself to indulge in his curiosity, but he hadn't been bright enough to just take the lighter into his own room to mess with it. Instead he'd simply crouched near the bed to mess with it, which had been the beginning of the turning point in his life.
In a flash the bed was on fire and Jasper, who was taken completely by surprise, dropped the lighter and shot up to stand. His father had woken though, just in time to put out the fire before anyone got hurt or any real damage had been done. It was after that when everything changed, when his father's hand collided with the side of his face and Jasper was sent crashing back against the wall. Even now the de le Poer boy wasn't sure what all had happened after that. Tegan, his sister, had ushered him into her room and he'd stayed in there with her for some time. Their mother had disappeared, up and left, and it was after incident that their family began to fall apart. The disappeared slowly over time, even Tegan, the only sibling that he'd ever felt close to, left one day.
Even now Jasper wondered if the rest of his many siblings blamed him for their mother leaving like he blamed himself for it. He wondered if they hated him for it and left with the hopes that they would all meet up somewhere else and Jasper wouldn't ever be able to find them. The thoughts of those times often plagued Jasper, especially now when he was trying to hard to accomplish something. He'd failed the rest of his siblings, Corona and Gabriel hated him for whatever reason, but now he had a sister that had no reason to hate him yet. If he failed her then she would certainly hate him like the rest of them. Even his father, the mad he feared and yet secretly admired, hated him. Jasper couldn't blame him though.
The sound came out of no where and caused Jasper to whip around, stumbling over his own legs as he did so. Finally, he lost his balance and crumbled to the ground, just in time to see the large form that was coming at him. In a last minute reaction he curled his legs in toward himself, removing them from the path of the flying wolf as to not harm the female that was after him. It was only as she landed, partially over top of his splayed out body, that Jasper had time to realize who it was. "You're okay!" He practically yelled, eyes wide and frantic as they searched her face.
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ever know each other [ooc]
Anya and Jasper inspire happiness in my black, tangled heart. xD
Lyrics credited to Alexz Johnson's "If I Should Stay." <3
[bic] such a softer sin
The boy must've been worried. That thought sent another ripple of laughter through Anya, though this was less of the playful laughter that had sounded when she'd tackled him, and more thoughtful... pleased. There were so many things wrong with her life, her family, her past. But this, the yearling boy who was called half-brother, was something that brought out the best in a girl that had long since resorted to her worst. She nuzzled him lightly, her face carrying something of a grin as she lifted her body away from him and sat up. His words echoed in her head. 'You're okay!' Her eyes lit up, and something, something which was beyond the vicious or the cruel or the emotional or the hurt, was shining there. It had been a long time since she could care for someone who didn't seem to judge her for her heritage or her past. Jasper dealt with the beast called Ahren daily; the boy carried his name, as well as shared bloodline with the dark girl. She wasn't sure of his past, nor of his parentage, but neither truly mattered. He was good, and she could feel that. She smiled. 'Lilium inter spinas,' she thought, her mind tracing the words, echoing them. And he was.
Lily among thorns. The only light in this never ending tunnel of life.
"Ah, yeah," was her reply to his statement, not sure what else to say. Their father, the piece of uselessness he was, had roused her from her turbulence, her tragedy. Could she tell him that? She'd never been one to open right up, but... yes, she could. She wouldn't insult his strength with lies, and half-truths were just as bad. He had been strong enough to seek out the monster of their flesh and blood; he deserved the truth, if nothing else. "Ahren found me before you found him. We spoke... if you could call it that." She smiled vaguely at him, a sad smile. Her relationships with their father had never been satisfactory. It was cold and silent at best... and violent and emotional at worst. Today was certainly the worst. But it might have been... the storm before the calm? Her eyes locked on Jasper's face. "He and I don't communicate well," she added, thoughtfully. He looked so much like her father... but he wasn't. And she could feel the good in him... despite his lineage.
Was that hope for her? Or assurance that he was what she couldn't be?
She sighed softly, but she wasn't going to allow herself to be dragged down again. Jasper gave her hope, if not in herself, then in the concept of someone caring about her. Sure, her old pack had given her a home, and something of a pseudo-family. Perhaps because they'd simply pitied her. Everyone knew that her mother had been raving mad, and that her father was a rapist. The story circulated before Anya was even old enough to understand it. But Jasper knew not of her life, her past, or even of her personality past what he'd seen. And still, he gave her something others had not... a true sense of being cared about, rather than cared for. Feeling wanted. And that counted for something... didn't it? He wanted to give her everything he could, or at least thus far. And that was a beautiful thing. Because Anya couldn't begin to express this pain, the emptiness she'd always held tight to. It was all she'd had. If she wasn't angry, what was she? If it didn't hurt, how did she feel instead? If she wasn't cold, could she care? And did she want to? The possibilities were endless, but it had always been out of reach. It had always been just outside her comfort zone.
She'd never dared to try. What if she failed? What if she was wrong?
As she sat there, beside her brother, she hummed a soft tune, and a song formed in her heart and her mind, then found its way to her voice and leaked from her lips. Music wasn't just a coping method, or a way of expression. It was her way of life. It was the reason she still had life. It was life itself.
And she sang, her eyes focused on nothing, "I ran to you like water; I threw my body in. And I'll stand upon the ocean, just to show you that I am strong... But what if I am wrong..."
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