the bluebird and i

Jefferson Soul · 08-10-2010, 10:33 PM

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Clouded Tears, set around October 2004!

His eyes were wide open then, and on the great and vast world did they explore! Every nook and cranny, every corner was appealing to he like every small and breathing creature. Each thing that moved was a new wonder to follow and mimic, as if he could truly put himself in the very small shoes of a very small cricket and hop along after it—but why did it flee from him, a brother? Did the cricket not see Maluki could jump as well, as far and as high as the cricket itself? It did not accept him as a brother as the pup wished so dearly, it did not show him what it knew or sing for him its beautiful nightly songs. Perhaps it was for that reason he could not be a cricket, Maluki decided, for he could not make anything beautiful out of the loud, echoing chirps (that sounded more like painful yelps, really) he hollered beneath the stars. If he tried hard enough, the fireflies sometimes danced close, but even Maluki knew he could not make his rear glow like they. They would never accept him as one of their own, and so the Tears pup chose to frolic after them instead, sprinting and jumping in and out of the tall grass like a cricket once more, yelping and giggling. Each time he dived for the glowing bugs his teeth clipped together emptily or his paws opened to reveal nothing but fur. Each time he was discouraged, and each time he got back up and tried again.

Unfortunately, his mother had not been a fan of his nightly excursions, and so Maluki was banned to the den when the sun went down. Laruku was entrusted to come and go as he liked and Akeni was no fun, of course—all she ever really did was lick at herself and fall asleep early—and so the night that his parents entrusted him to stay in the sanctuary of the den when they left to hunt, the pup naturally did not. A quick glance from side to side at the den's entrance, and the Soul boy was off like a light, streaking into the tall grass where he was hidden, undetected. He had seen his father do it, of course, and Acid had begun teaching Laruku how to hunt but decided Maluki irresponsible enough for lessons quite yet. The pup was determined to prove otherwise, of course, so that his father would praise him and declare him to be quite obviously better than Laruku, but it was no use. As much as he ducked close to the ground and wiggled his arse, tongue lolling out between his teeth, he could not catch even the slowest of crickets or fireflies in his grasp. The boy found the activity unbelievably amusing nonetheless, and his giggles echoed over the quiet Clouded Tears lake that laid so conveniently nearby.

At last his throat became parched and the pup emerged from his playplace, heart pounding with excitement and maw agape with thirst. The water of the lake provided him sustenance as always; once satisfied, the boy danced and wiggled at his reflection a while, hopping on two legs and wagging his tail, before growing bored of the activity and setting again to exploring. And how his legs carried him! The freedom to run, to feel the cool, October wind rush through his fur! Green eyes found a tall rock and instantly he climbed upon it, the alpha of Clouded Tears all over again! Last night he had banned Laruku for being a show-off, but tonight he decided to be merciful and allow his brother back. "Okay, 'Ruku, I will be kind to you just this one more time," he said in his haughtiest voice, puffing up his chest as he spoke to his brother, who stood before him only through his imagination as he had the night before. "I'll let you back in Clouded Tears on one condition—y'gotta be my slave forever. Ha ha ha ha!" Laruku wasn't actually there, of course, and so he wouldn't know a thing... but if only his father could see him now, he would bring Maluki along to hunt, too!

Ceres Sadira · 08-11-2010, 12:39 PM

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WEEEEE. <3 Ceres and Maluki.

The ever present veil seeping from Vapor Lake was thin that night, providing only a light blanket of mist rather than the thick fog that often rose up from the lake. Still she moved like a wraith, as if thick fog perpetually obscured the sight of her, even when it was not present. Tiny paws, four of them, carried her across Clouded Tears, her final border patrol done for the night and at least free to worry about personal matters rather than those of the pack. Acid would keep night duty for her, ever her faithful beta and son, and the navy eyed devil was glad that he persisted, still by his mother’s side. Even Colibri had not turned his loyalties away from Clouded Tears, and the silver eyes mate of her son’s seemed just as devoted, if not to the pack than at least to their family, or who was left of it. Surely their litter, months younger than her own, was safely tucked away, soon to be deep in slumber, which was where Ceres Sadira longed to be.

A quick excursion to the lake and she could return to the pack den, hopefully to find at least Iskata and Lisichka fast asleep, waiting patiently for her as were their custom. Laika would no doubt be out and most likely would have taken Aiji with her. The two were so like Scarlette in many ways and it pained her heart to be at odds with them, but at least she had them still at all. When given the chance to let her mind wander it would turn towards the ghosts in her life and once settled on the subject it chipped away at her, little by little, until obligations caused her to turn her attentions elsewhere. Every step that took her closer to the lake was coordinated with the name of someone she longed for but couldn’t touch. Kiriska. Dead in the ground. Daituki. Gone off for safety’s sake. Adrastos. Following his father. Ashened. God only knew where. The names repeated and were occasionally replaced by others, but even with this constant reminder that each pillar of support and strength she had secured for herself had crumbled at her feet she continued to move forward. It was her only personal goal anymore, to always more forward.

And as she moved forward a voice came to her, floating in the autumn air like a song. Realizing what the words were, and who had spoken them a half smile spread on the trodden female’s face. Children and grandchildren, they were a rare pleasure in her life, and she showered them with affection and warmth that others so rarely saw from the hard-hearted alpha. Coming upon the boy, her jagged voice was forced smooth, as she always addressed her kin, masking the demonic tones that naturally came from her throat. "What is this Maluki my dear? Has my reign’s end come so soon? I surely hope you’d show your brother more kindness than that, or else I dare say I won’t hand over Clouded Tears to you." A soft chuckle escaped her as she lowered herself beside the rock, looking up at Alpha Maluki, bowing her head as a respectful subordinate would.

Jefferson Soul · 08-11-2010, 02:17 PM

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Imaginary Laruku plead his case, but the great leader Maluki would hear nothing of it. How could his brother not understand that if he was too merciful, his pack would think him weak? Maluki would never allow himself to be seen like that, a pushover! Again he puffed out his chest and held a deep breath, donning his best scowl and evil eye as he stared ever so ruthlessly into the space where the invisible Laruku stood. Akeni appeared next and Maluki struggled with whether to sympathize with his dear little sister or show himself as unbreakable and strong. His ears flipped back, and at that very moment, his grandmother's voice crept from the darkness.

The pup ducked down close the the stone he stood on and peered wide green eyes at her as the white alphess appeared, smiling. His tail wagged, pleased at the sight of Ceres, and yet surely she would know he was out there alone without permission? "H-Hi, Grammy," he stammered, straightening up importantly as she bowed to him like the great leader he was. Ceres had always been especially kind to him and his antics, on more than one occasion speaking to her son—his father—on lighter punishments when it came to the boy's misbehavior. "'Ruku was just—he, uhh—I-I think you should lead, Grammy." Maluki crept carefully off the jutting stone and to the grass, quickly sitting his rear down beside it.

His ears still flattened against his skull, expecting a scolding. It hadn't occurred to him that he might've been found out. "Papa took 'Ruku hunting again," he said quietly, eyes averted and a hind foot scratching at his ear, "Mama went too, and Akeni's so boring..."

Ceres Sadira · 08-11-2010, 04:44 PM

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Grammy. Her heart swelled at the puppy’s greeting, his child like voice seemingly seeping in through her skin and seizing her heart. Never would she permit anyone to call her by anything other than her name, nicknames were too sentimental, aside from her children and grandchildren. She had very little patience for the blunderings and mistakes of others, but for her own flesh and blood her patience was infinite. "Okay, I’ll lead." Ceres unbowed her bent head and met eyes with Maluki as he descended the rock, critically watching his growing body move. It was true that they were kept well fed, well sheltered, and yet one after another Colibri had lost most her children. Only Akeni and Maluki stayed. And Laruku.

As if echoing her thoughts Maluki mentioned the male’s name, and Ceres inhaled sharply. Acid had taken Laruku out again, without either of his own biological children. The knowledge of Acid’s attentions showered upon Laruku caused conflicted feelings for the alpha female, and in the end Ceres couldn’t directly reprimand the beta’s decisions. Kiriska had been dear to the snowy female, more so than perhaps any other living creature ever could be, and it took a lot of restraint not to smother the tawny hybrid with the love she wished Kiriska was alive to show him. Yet Maluki and Akeni would get pushed aside at times and this did not settle well with their grandmother, who in turn was too soft to perhaps make up for their father’s failings.

"Akeni is not so boring, I’m sure. And at any rate, I’m sure that does not give you a free pass to wander so late at night all alone, does it?" Her voice teased, making it clear to the boy that she was aware of the curfew Colibri placed on her children and that it did not escape Ceres that Maluki was breaking it now. Yet no scolding followed, so rarely did she scold her own children, and her grandchild would remain quite unaware at how terrifying his grandmother could be once upset. Two very different roles she played; the queen of the Sadiras and the queen of Clouded Tears were vastly different creatures but Ceres never had to struggle to keep them separate. "I suppose I’m out late too though, and you can keep me company for a while." She bent down, her nose meeting Maluki’s, navy eyes staring sternly into emerald, and this was the most chastising she would give him on the matter.

Jefferson Soul · 08-12-2010, 06:29 PM

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He was only a few months old, perhaps, but even Maluki knew that the alphess's decisions were the final word when it came to both he and his pack. She was his grandmother who had power over his parents both because of their blood relations and due to her place as pack matriarch; it never crossed the pup's mind that his jealousy for his brother would be something Ceres might address with Acid and Colibri. Maluki did not know the ways of manipulation, of laying vague lines to direct those around him to act; he would not learn such things for a very long time, when it was finally and when it would be his turn to do so, he would never take advantage of it. Maluki was good at heart, of course, no matter what might happen to him in life. Asking him to admit it then, however, might have been too much. The pup would have puffed up his chest and declared himself ruthless before he ever admitted to being a good boy.

Maluki made a deliberately stubborn face at her words about Akeni. She didn't live with his sister, she wouldn't know! His ears flipped back and he remained quiet, however, pouting at the soil instead. He didn't have permission to wander off alone, he knew, and his grandmother was quick to point it out. "No, Gramma," he drawled, pushing at the sand with a toe. She drew in close, hanging her shadow over him; the Tears boy sunk into his shoulders, preparing for a proper scolding, when an open-ended invitation arose instead. Ears perking, he gaped up at her with wide eyes. As realization struck, a grin spread across his youthful face and his tag began to wag: "R-Really? I can come?!" He jumped to his feet and was running circles around her in no time, eager to walk the grounds with the alphess he admired so.

When they began to walk, the pup set to work "protecting" her from the fireflies and crickets he came across, the pup bounding from one place to another with limitless energy. He calmed enough to stop and watch her, grinning, then perked his ears once more. Why was she out so late, anyway? "Grammy, is it hard to lead a pack?"

Ceres Sadira · 08-13-2010, 11:26 AM

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That such a small favor could invoke so great delight in the boy only further solidified Ceres’s resolve to keep the boy out far past his bedtime. When they did return to the den, Colibri and Acid would have returned to find their son missing and the grandmother would take great delight in returning him, sleepy but defiant, to his parents. If any words were exchanged it would be to her, not the child, and Ceres smiled wickedly at this. With great responsibility came little joys, and one of which was the absolute authority she enjoyed as alpha and matriarch, and Ceres intended to exploit those privileges when she could.

As the child bounded about, snapping at the insects they encountered, Ceres walked regally along, her navy eyes ever alert for any changes in scenery. None came, and when Maluki’s inquisitive voice came Ceres’s mind took a long time to mull over the question. Was it hard to lead a pack? It was and it wasn’t, but surely the curious child wouldn’t accept such an answer. For days Ceres could disappear when it became too tiring, knowing Acid and Colibri would see to any loners on the borders, any enemies that came calling, and find her if anything they couldn’t handle arose. That she could afford such a luxury as several days rest would seem that leading wasn’t so hard, but it was not just physical exhaustion that set in. There was never any rest for the emotionally worn out alphess.

"It can be, Maluki." Especially in Clouded Tears. Who had ruled that did not meet hardships and ultimate tragedy? Her mind reeled all the way back to Noirci, the first being to ever win her affections, and then his untimely death. His was the first of many misfortunes that would plague those that took reins in Clouded Tears, the most recent being her beloved Kiriska. The ever present image of her thin, black body bleeding out came then, and Ceres had to struggle to suppress it again. Replacing the memory she thought of Arlo, and Yasu, their soft, supple skin tearing under her fangs. Their breath coming in gasps then not at all. Kiriska had been avenged but at what price? Yasu had a litter back in Inferni when Ceres had taken her life, and now the motherless runts were on her head. Oh, the crimes she had done for Kiriska, the crimes she had done for Clouded Tears, and worse of all was how she secretly enjoyed it.

"Very few souls ask to lead, we are chosen, and usually because there is no one else. Leading can be a challenge and unfortunately few are up to such a challenge." Was she up to such a challenge? Ceres had thought so, never hesitating on what had to be done once Kiriska was in the ground and gone, but now? Now she wasn’t so sure. "Leading sometimes means you have to make very hard choices, you can lose friends and family for it Maluki. Perhaps one day you’ll know this for yourself, but I pray you don’t." Ceres smiled sadly at the boy, unwilling to sugar coat her true feelings. Would Maluki rise the ranks and take someone place in Clouded Tears? That it would be any other pack Ceres did not even dream, but certainly she would reign forever. Perhaps the hardest part of leading was the curse that hung over her head, that she would pass onto whoever was foolish enough to follow in her footsteps.

Jefferson Soul · 08-14-2010, 12:04 AM

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It seemed like an eternity before his grandmother replied to his question; at first the pup regretted asking, watching thoughts and memories cloud the blue out of Ceres's eyes in seconds. He stared at her a long while and yet she did not notice, and when he grew bored the pup returned to his earlier activity, leaping and diving for lightning bugs, the question completely dismissed from his mind. Still they danced out of his grasp, his teeth clamping on nothing but air when he jumped for them. When his grandmother finally spoke again, the boy was teary-eyed and nursing a bitten tongue, but of course he hid that from her the best he could.

She spoke wisely and strongly like a sage who had seen a thousand things; the pup could only watch and wait, registering what little information he could. It was a task, she revealed, the power given at the expense of her personal life. His eyes thinned; didn't she want to be a leader? It sounded like she had been forced into it. He soon found a beaming smile, however: "Grammy, I wanna grow up big and strong like you so I can get chosen an' lead C'ouded Tears!"

His energy sank when she continued, however, the boy's ears flipping back and his smile waning fast. "D... Don't you think I would be good at it, grammy?"

Ceres Sadira · 08-18-2010, 03:38 PM

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Brows furrowed at the boy’s excited response, he too then aspired to lead. It was flattering that he viewed her as “big and strong”, when Ceres knew that she was neither. She was tiny, but a devil and it was her emotional coldness to outsiders, her ruthlessness and viper-like ability to strike that kept her on top. That and the never ending loyalty and support from the ever expanding family that made up Clouded Tears. Ceres did not do all this because she wished to be alpha; she did it because it was the only means of survival she knew. She had to survive so that her pack could survive so that her family could survive and so that generations from now, wolves she would never know, would also survive. And Maluki wished for that, but he was a child and could not fully comprehend the work and responsibility and often times heartache that would come with such a title.

. "Oh, I am sure you would excel at it. " The words were not buttery, for Ceres was not one to lie, even to children. Maluki was fair and kind and they were important qualities, they had been qualities that Ceres had struggled to learn but couldn’t lead without. However, the boy was gentle and one could not be overly soft if they were to direct and lead. Not when they had to make decisions and hurt feelings and put their own personal life on hold for others. If one was soft they wore out too fast. . "But you’re going to have to be tough though, can you be tough?" Her navy eyes were curious, alert and watching the boy. All children were born soft and innocent, it was the environment that beat that out them eventually. Ceres’ innocence had been snuffed out before she had gotten a chance to use it, before she had ever set eyes on Clouded Tears or met any of the key players in her life.

. "Someday you may lead; perhaps you’ll take my place. Patience though, if your time comes, it will come, and no need to worry and wait for it. Enjoy what you have right now." Ceres brought herself swiftly up to him, nipping him affectionately in the ear, a playful smile and lighthearted laugh quickly changing the tone as she forced the bitterness of life to make way for the joy of the moment. The moment came few and far in between it seemed and she would make the most of it. Enjoy what she had, while she still had it.

Jefferson Soul · 09-03-2010, 12:57 PM

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He breathed in her words like inspiration, pride and excitement blossoming in his chest. A smile drew across his face once more and his ears perked to attention. His grandmother believed in him! It was final, then—he would be a great leader someday, following in the footsteps of his grandmother and parents. He was born to lead, of course, being the firstborn son of Clouded Tears' betas and the grandson of its alphess. Laruku was a little bigger than him, but he was still the first, wasn't he? Colibri had always called Maluki the eldest of the litter, after all, her "big boy" and all that—it was so embarrassing—but Laruku had never been around to protest when she did. No, his father was always taking Laruku places. If Maluki was the eldest, then why wasn't Acid treating him that way?

"I-I can be tough!" He built up his chest and raised his head high into the air. Yes, this would be how he addressed his underlings someday; tall, tough, big, strong. They would look up to him like a hero and guardian! "I'm bigger and tougher than everyone at home! Well, I mean, Laruku is a little bigger... um, but I'm still the eldest! Right, Grammy? Someday, Dad'll take me hunting instead and I'll get to tell Ruku what to do."

She bid him patience, however, and his inspiration blew away like a emptying balloon. His great, strong stance sank and tail froze mid-swing. He didn't want to wait! He could lead the pack just fine tomorrow, as far as he was concerned. "I can't enjoy what I got right now if nobody lets me do anything," he pouted, bottom lip unknowingly protruding. His steps became heavy and graceless in the midst of his disappointment. "Dad won't take me like he takes Ruku everywhere and mom's never home. All I ever get to do is sit around with Akeni. It's boring, Gramma. I wanna learn how to hunt and scout and be a real great hero."

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