Frozen Inside And Out

Selene D'Angelo · 01-19-2011, 04:31 PM

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OOC here: Table & Coding © Sie; 579 words

The way had been treacherous but that hadn't stopped her. The thought of breaking her neck and falling to her death didn't even have her pausing. Why should it when such would be a blessing? But sadly she didn't have that sort of luck. Had it been another's demise then it was likely that it would have happened but not her own. She wasn't blessed enough to escape this life. No, she was stuck in it. Stuck just being a burden on everyone else. Again the thought of if she should disappear would anyone even notice plagued her. She didn't exactly imagine that it would matter much since she wasn't important to anyone. Even little Juju didn't even want her around any longer. It was the pup having run off to play on his own and not letting Sele follow that had the girl heading to the opposite end of the pack territories.

She had made her way down to the beach but didn't stay in the open for too long. Instead she disappeared inside the cave that overlooked the beach. She picked up a tarnished mirror and stared into the broken reflective surface. The cracks in the mirror caused her image to look distorted but it fit with that way that she saw herself. She imagined herself to be the disfigured wolf that was staring back at her. She already knew that she was ugly and wasn't worthy of love and this artifact proved it. Day by day she fell further into the grasp of her inner demons, slipping into deeper realms of depression. When was the time that she had actually last ate? She could hardly remember. She went through the motions of life without remembering them or being affected by them. She was more of a mindless robot than a living being now. She went through the proper procedures so that no one would worry or care or notice her state but that was about it.

"You could wait here. Just wait for the tide to rise and enter." She spoke the words to the image in the mirror. But she knew she couldn't. Juju might not want her around but she couldn't just abandon him. She couldn't just leave her children. They were the only reasons that she still clung to life. The only reasons that she bothered to go through the motions. If not for them then she wouldn't have a reason to even pretend that things were okay. To put on that happy smile while she was actually empty inside. No one knew that she wasn't okay. That she suffered quietly every single day. That darkness had practically consumed her soul. That she hadn't been truly happy in some time now. That she actually blamed herself for each and every bad thing that had ever happened.

She placed the mirror down with a sigh, turning it face down so that she could no longer see herself reflected in it any longer. She forced herself to do something else instead. To look at the other artifacts that were hidden away in this place. She sat on her knees as she stared about herself. There were plenty of odd little trinkets all about, most all of them worn by age and the tide. This place was like a secret little hide away. Vaguely she wondered just how many knew that it was here. Some of this stuff didn't seem to have been disturbed too often.

Xion de Heritage · 01-20-2011, 10:32 PM

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Thanks for starting! <3 aaaand derp short post is short.

Despite her fascination with the maze of tunnels and caves inside the mountain, Xion felt that she should probably do some exploring outside as well. Thus, she'd been wandering the territory to get a feel for the place, mentally noting how different it was from her former home. The lands were much more rocky and mountainous than the Valley, and as the white wolfess moved southeast she found the rocks becoming more and more jagged and dangerous-looking. Nonetheless, she continued on, eager to explore all the way to the boundaries of the packlands. Carefully she made her way along the slippery rocks, only slipping a little bit once or twice, until it seemed that she had reached the farthest point of Anathema-claimed land--all that remained was the ocean.

Xion turned back and began to make her way closer to solid ground; as she did so, she noticed a small movement of something white that seemed to disappear into the cliff face. Intrigued, she made her way up to the side of the mountain where she had seen the mysterious presence, and couldn't help but mutter a tiny "wow" under her breath at what she had found. There was a cave here, which she would never have noticed had it not been for whatever had been moving here. As she made her way inside, mismatched eyes gazing about and falling upon the many various items inside, it took her a moment to even notice the other similarly-colored wolfess. When she did, Xion started; she had forgotten completely about what brought her up here. "H-hello," she said, "Sorry, is this your home or something?" There was no way that all of these things could have gotten up here without someone moving them, after all.

Selene D'Angelo · 01-21-2011, 11:25 PM

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OOC here: Table & Coding © Sie; Welcomes hun; 323 words

Sele had only been to this place a couple of times prior which is how she knew just where to go. Usually when she chose to be alone she would leave the pack lands so that hopefully none of the members would accidentally intrude upon her solitude. But today was just a day for contemplation. She couldn't afford to go out and make more marks yet. If she did then a trend would be noticed and something might be said. She simply couldn't risk that happening. So as much as she itched to get beneath the flesh she knew that she couldn't. She had already been seen with marks on her once. She couldn't have more seeing them and saying something about them.

She looked up at the sound of the voice. She was at least glad that she hadn't been cutting herself, though she had been picking at the fur on her leg. Of course she quickly ceased that action as soon as another presence was known about. She once again placed on her sweet little smile and had to pretend that everything was okay all over again. "Oh no, I stay in the actual cave system. I just visit here sometimes." Of course she didn't explain why she came here. There was no need to do that. There was no need to say that she came here to hate on herself.

"I just found this place with all the stuff in it while out exploring one day." She said with a shrug as she tried to figure out what more to say. "I just come here sometimes to look at all of the stuff here. I don't think too many know about this place yet." Not that Sele could remember what exactly was hidden in here to even know if anything had gone missing. As long as the cracked and broken was still here then she would never know the difference.

Xion de Heritage · 01-27-2011, 11:23 PM

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ooc: sorry about the wait, had a busy week.

Xion was at least glad that whoever this was didn't live here and she hadn't just intruded on someone's home. She might have been rather blunt and naive at times but the girl knew that making a good impression in the pack would be important if she hoped to stay here. As her packmate spoke, Xion's mismatched eyes glanced around the cave at the objects strewn about the place. It surprised her a little, that not many knew about such a place as this. Will all the trinkets lying around, she felt like someone would have spread the word around.

"Oh," Xion replied simply. "What is all this stuff anyway? I've never seen most of these things before." A few of the items she recognized; there had been some human items left in the cabin she stayed in as a child, which her parents would occasionally use. And her mother had told her about the mansion she'd visited, where there were so many strange objects that she couldn't identify, and books that she didn't know how to read, and architecture that she was fascinated by.

The girl then realized that she hadn't introduced herself. "Oh, sorry, my name's Xion. I just recently joined the pack." This wolfess was only the third of her new packmates that Xion had met, counting Naniko. She was so eager to learn about her new family, as the D'Angelo woman had said they would be. But at the same time she was nervous. Would she fit in here?

Selene D'Angelo · 01-29-2011, 07:25 AM

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OOC here: Table & Coding © Sie; It is fine, understand how that is; 353 words

Sele didn't know all of her pack mates either. Sure, she had been around since the beginning and founding of the pack but there had been those that had come which she didn't end up greeting herself. So there might not be too many but still there were some. And even the ones that she did know about she didn't end up conversing with too often. She had quickly become a recluse of sorts. She didn't actively try and get out and hold conversations with the other pack members. She just well, she couldn't. She didn't like herself enough to think to do so. She had to work through her own personal issues before she could consider trying to associate with others. She wasn't in the right place in her own mind to try and relate with everyone else. She managed it when she had to but she didn't go out of her way to end up doing so.

Sele found herself glancing around at all of the stuff in the cave again before looking back to the other female. " I'm not really sure myself. I just find it to be interesting to look at though." She didn’t really have much experience with human things. She couldn't begin to name what half the things in the cave were or what they were even used for. It was fun to speculate every once in awhile though. Though mostly she would just sit in this place and brood. She could sit for hours on end with the broken mirror and just stare at the grotesque image that was being portrayed there. Just stare into the eyes of that shattered soul and see every wrong thing that there was to find there.

The female somehow managed to place on a sweet smile despite how rotten she felt on the inside. But then again she always seemed able to pretend that all was well around others. She did such a good job that it wasn't ever though to ask what was wrong. But then again she had been doing it. "Nice to meet you Xion. I'm Selene."

Xion de Heritage · 02-04-2011, 12:15 AM

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ooc: sorry about the wait again. <_<;

Her new packmate told Xion that she didn't know much about all the weird things here either. The tattooed girl shrugged, and once again cast her eyes over the place. Something shined and caught her eye; she reached down to pick it up and found that it was some sort of object that reflected images back. She didn't know that Selene had just recently been using the mirror--its glimmer intrigued her, as did the cracked reflection of her face that she saw in it. A childish excitement came over Xion, and she turned to the other white wolfess, holding out the mirror. "Look, I can see my reflection in this...kind of. It's all messed up, though." Xion was almost completely ignorant to human items and technology, and it showed.

"Selene," she repeated upon learning the other female's name. "How long have you been here, in Anathema?" The girl was eager to learn about this place and she was going to ask anyone she could for information. Alaki had told her some things, but she wanted to know more. And she wanted friends, too; others who she could connect with and talk to. She hadn't known many other wolves before, even in Phoenix Valley. Most of the others that she had encountered there were friends of her mother's and much older than she herself was. It would be good to have her own friends.

Selene D'Angelo · 02-13-2011, 09:09 PM

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She had to refrain from saying something as the other picked up the mirror. That had been the entire reason that Sele had come to this place. But she didn't want to give that reason away and so she had to bite her tongue and allow the other to view the mirror all that she wanted to. She didn't away that the reflection that she saw in the cracked mirror was the exact way that she saw herself. That she thought herself broken just as the image that was reflected there.

She smiled and nodded her head as she was shown the mirror. She chuckled a bit at the other females excitement. "Maybe you should make a trip to the city sometime. I've been told that there are lots of things there. Maybe you will find one that doesn't make you look messed up." It was only a vague suggestion since she didn't really know if there was something like that there or not. It wasn't like she explored it herself. And well, she didn't know if the image was really messed up or if that was how it was supposed to be or not.

She glanced around at the other items that were laying around the cave and ended up picking up a brush to examine. She ran her fingers against the soft bristles before looking up at the other female as she heard her name. "Oh, I came here with Nani. I've been here since the start." So she had been here since the very beginning and had been with Nani before even then. After all she had lived with her sister in a cult in New Brunswick and those ideals had been brought over with them. When the Tribunal was killed Selene had nowhere else to go and so she had begged her sister to allow her to come along and that is how she ended up back in Souls.

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