What If I Can't Trust Myself

Alder · 02-08-2011, 01:50 PM

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Vigilante Smile

Please let me know if anything should be changed Wink

Alder was not forgetting Crimson Dreams, or the family that he had left there. He was not used to living here and calling it home, it wasn’t yet. But he was accepting it, and learning the ways of the new territory and beginning to grow comfortable. Of course the stress that had been placed on his new pack lately did not help with his transition or with the questions he had for those in his past home. He would visit them soon, to see his mother and brothers.

But for now the boy had new tasks to complete and a new purpose. It felt good to put his body to work, the Optime form coming in handy as he moved mountain after mountain of snow. The male was tall, taller then most, and broad shouldered and thick in just about every way. His arms worked through the clearing the snow tirelessly, and the group the day before had done a good job rescuing the horses in the stables. The boy wished to stay, linger a bit and see the creatures that he enjoyed so much. The old Marshal’s words about horses had stuck in his mind the day they had met. Alder wished he were here to help them, and drifted towards his horse as if being close to her would bring the young male close to him too.

He stood in Lumière’s stall, the roan hued mare would give birth soon, any day according to Alder’s thoughts. Something told him so, something in her eyes spoke to him. She was still as he took the brush and glided it over her short but thick coat. She was worried, uncomfortable, and eager to see her foal. He could tell, almost hear the thoughts when he listened to her whinnies and snorts closely. Alder spoke back, whispers that softly reached her ears. You’ll see her soon. he reassured her, the mother seemed convinced that she would give birth to a female. Or maybe it was just Alder’s imagination. Maybe he was simply going insane, but he felt as if it was the most meaningful conversation he had had in weeks.

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Vigilante Haskel · 02-13-2011, 09:54 PM

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lolawful post. >_>; 300+

The storm had done considerable damage, and the King had been unable to rest, continually searching for more and more damage that had been done to the pack's territory. Thankfully, the winds and the snow had not done as much by way of destruction as it could have, certainly, and the dog mutt was comforted by this, at least. As much as the snow had done, he knew in his mind that it easily could have been much worse. Though they had not yet found Kambujiya, he was greatly comforted by the knowledge that Amaranth, Niro, and Magnolia were all safe and well. Ever had been found as well, and of course his mate and boys were safe at the hotel. It eased his mind to know that, with the possible exception of Kambujiya (though he loathed to think of it), his family was all alive and happy.

Though a group had gone out to survey the damage and to salvage what they could, the King wished to see the stables himself. It was heartening to know that they were not nearly as damaged as they could have been, as he had moved Nádherné there before calling everyone to the hotel. The relationship between Vigilante and Nádherné was not the typical one seen between horse and luperci, for he did not ride Nádherné and he hardly considered himself to be the one who "owned" the horse, but the King was very fond of the horse and he would be very upset if something had happened to the blood bay stallion. As he approached the stables in his secui form, the King padded quietly, listening intently. Someone else was there, though he did not recognize the scent enough to place a name to it. The scent was clearly of a Miracles canine, thankfully.

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Alder · 02-16-2011, 11:34 AM

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There was a weight lifted off his shoulders while he was here among the horses. There were so many in the hotel, and the tension was as thick as fog between all the wolves there. Alder crumbled under such stress, feeling he was part of the cause even if he was not. Retreating here seemed to lessen the anxiety, even though there was so much that needed to be done. In the hotel he didn't know how to help, but here he could see the projects that needed to be completed and he could imagine how they could be fixed.

Lumiere looked back at him as he moved to her tail with the brush. The mare neighed and shook her head but he could tell that it was just in jest. He smiled, his face brighter then it had been in days, and then began to work the knots in her long tail out. Don't fuss. He said, teasing the horse before he gave her a scratch on the rump. He laughed silently to himself, picturing how the world would be when the mare's foal came into the world. The masked boy hoped that he could help prepare the stables for the little one, in its current condition it was no place for a newborn.

His ear moved to the side, taking in the soft padding of paw steps. His smile left him and he moved slowly to the doorway. The dark faced horse watched him, unmoving for she knew that there was no reason to fear. Shy blue eyes looked down the hall to find the pack's King roaming towards him. He knew that Alder was there, he could see the awareness in his features and the boy's ears and tail fell low in respect. Alder fought the urge to retreat back into the stall, hide and hope that his leader would not notice him. The ex-Dreamer had not met him formally yet, but had watched from afar. He didn't expect to meet him today.

There was no avoiding the situation and the young male gathered his courage and spoke. Good day sir. His mother had taught him to always be polite.

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Vigilante Haskel · 02-18-2011, 02:13 AM

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The storm had brought a great burden of stress to the Miracles pack, but the King felt that they had fared decently. Worse things could have happened to the pack’s territory and Vigilante was very grateful that they had not. Tensions were running high, and perhaps that was a part of why he had begun surveying the territory as soon as the storm had stopped. The hotel was a safe place for them all to be, particularly the puppies, but the room that they were all huddled in together was not meant as living quarters and it was not meant to house so many at once for more than a few hours at a time. Though he heflt this way, he was glad to have called the pack there. It kept them safe and it gave him a way of knowing where everyone was. If it had not been for his calling the pack together, he might not have realized that Amaranth, Niro, and Magnolia were missing until much later, and it could have been too late at that point.

Though it had been his intention to have a quiet visit with Nádherné, the dog King was not at all bothered when the other spoke. It was pleasant, in fact, as they had not yet been introduced or had a chance to speak to one another. Jade eyes looked him over briefly, noting that he seemed more nervous than most pack members. Perhaps not nervous—introspective and quiet, though, were the feelings that Vigilante felt from him. "Hello," he replied with a short dip of his head in greeting. "We have not met quite yet, but I am Vigilante. You are Haven's brother, I believe?" he inquired with a questioning gaze. Princess had mentioned that Haven's brother had come to live with them when the King had gone to visit their home and to meet their puppies. Haven's brother would be yet another member who had once lived in Crimson Dreams, though the King did not know his reasons for leaving there to come here.

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Alder · 02-18-2011, 10:12 AM

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Alder did not wish to think about how the other pack’s faired in the storm. He had needed to kill the urge to return to Crimson Dreams when they had first begun to understand the massive devastation that the storm would bring. He had thought of his mother, and though he had tried to sever the deep connection that they had he still felt it and worried deeply for her. This was the only place that bought him any sense of calm and relaxation.

The blue roan mare’s lips touched his shoulder, making a large brown ear twitch. It was like she said something that Alder just couldn’t quite hear. But the King’s voice came through nice and clear and the young man listened intently to each of the deep words. Alder nodded. His fingers intertwined with the mare’s mane, fiddling as he was certainly nervous and hoped the alpha would not notice. I am. He assure him a second time. He was so grateful that he could be names the brother of the pack’s Knight. It was a honorable relation.

I’m Alder. He replied. Alder did not remember the time they had met in the past, having been so young. Anu had spoken of many wolves in the Cours packlands but the memory of story of the King was shadowed by the idea of actually meeting him. I used to live in Crimson Dreams. He explained, his paw petting the long neck of the ex-Marshal’s horse in the hopes of calming not the horse but himself. She was content, and he figured very familiar with the King. Heath had told him that they had been part of the pack since the early beginnings of the Cour des Miracles. Her experience some how made his inexperience less overbearing.

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Vigilante Haskel · 02-24-2011, 01:59 PM

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It could be said that he was lucky to not have family in other packs to be worried about, particularly now that Lolita had completely left the area with two of her girls, though he certainly still had his worries. If Kambujiya would be found, then the King would be feeling less anxious about the welfare of his family, for he knew where they all were with the exception of his adopted son. The King did not know that the boy had gone off on his own shortly before the storm, but only that he was now missing and had not turned up yet, despite the dog mutt's efforts to look for him.

He had not recognized Alder immediately, as he had been a small and timid puppy when the King had met him. As nearly as he could tell, the boy was still very shy, but he had certainly grown a great deal. Vigilante should have recognized him earlier or at least realized who he was, but he had not. His meeting with the Dreamers' subleader had been very pleasant, and he had been very fond of her. "I visited there and met with your mother, once. You and your brothers were very young," he spoke, though he did not know if Alder would remember him or his visit.

"Are you liking it here, thus far?" he inquired, and though he had wanted to ask what had prompted him to leave his home with his mother and his brothers, the King held off on asking such a personal question. Alder still seemed quite nervous and Vigilante did not want to make him more so if he could help it, as he knew that the boy was trustworthy and did not need to be questioned as if he were a loner who had joined. Haven would surely know his brother, and the King trusted Haven.

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Alder · 03-06-2011, 02:58 PM

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sorry for the wait!

It was not until the dog-king had told him that they had once met that Alder could remember his mother telling him of the memory. It was like that had been another life time, another Alder completely. It was not that much had changed in his personality, but his childhood just seemed so long ago. He felt as if he had been in a part of the Cours pack for much longer then a few weeks and though the time passed slowly he seemed to change and grow quickly. He was slightly embarrassed that he could not remember the time Vigilante had come to his homelands, he being such an important part of his life now. But then there had been nothing above his mother, no one that mattered at all beyond her. In times of weakness and stress Alder reverted to that mind set easily, he could only try and remember that he was to bow to another equally noble beast now.

The questions prompted him to respond, blue eyes rising from the ground where they had fallen at the thought of his immature puppy self and he nodded. I am sir. Her responded with a small forced smile. The horse nudged the side of his face, dark lips teasing and threatening a bite. Alder took a step away from the mare, smiling an honest grin now and adding what he figured she wished him to. There aren’t stables in Crimson Dreams, its nice to be around so many horses. Alder gave the mare a good pat and then grew more serious for his company deserved such respect.

Been fixing up some of the damage, and made sure they were all fed. Haven, Ever and I came here as soon as we could after the storm. He informed the King, hoping that he would be a bit more at ease with the news of the pack working together to bring life back to normal.

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Vigilante Haskel · 03-21-2011, 02:20 PM

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The King was glad to hear that Alder was enjoying his time in the pack so far, as he often worried that members that moved here from another pack would regret the decision, particularly if the other pack was nearby, as Crimson Dreams was. He was fond of the pack of Dreamers and he would not be upset if Alder chose to return there, though he hoped that he would not. Still, the worry was valid, he supposed. Many members seemed to come from Crimson Dreams, and though the three here seemed very happy, he could only assume that they missed those of the pack of Dreams very often. He hoped that would also help to strengthen the relationship between Crimson Dreams and Cour des Miracles, however.

The storm had been awful and he had done what he could to help all of the pack’s members. He had led the rescue mission to find Amaranth, Niro, and Magnolia, and he had helped clean up the destruction of Firefly’s Cabin. However, he had not come to the stables to see the damage until now, but he was so glad to hear that members had worked together to clean up the damage and take care of the pack’s horses. “I am glad that you three did. Thank you,” he said genuinely. “Did all of the horses make it through the storm?” The King hoped that they did not lose any of the horses to the raging winds and snows, as he knew that the horses were very important to the members of Cour des Miracles.

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Alder · 03-29-2011, 12:25 PM

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To Alder, Crimson Dreams was home. It was the place that had been his childhood and to him the best days of his life. He did not know yet that life was far longer then the short months he had lived. Though the time between puphood and maturity was short, he felt like he had grown up so much, like he had lived for ages and had made such hard decisions that he wondered if maybe he was done. Done with wondering why and what and who he should be. He had broken away from his mother's supportive presence and come into his own. Hadn't he? Though he was happy here he still thought of the Dreaming pack as family and home, there was nothing that told him that would change any time soon.

Alder nodded, ears still loose on his crown and easily moved downwards by the King's voice. The gratitude was honest and Alder's heart swelled slightly at the leader's praise, he wished to please and hoped to show that he was the proper sort of member an alpha hoped to have beneath him. They did sir... Though, Lumiere is close to giving birth. He spoke, tongue slightly loose now that he had felt the gentler tone of the dog-king. I think. He added, knowing that he had no true education in the realm and his instinct was not clear nor experienced enough to place it into writing.

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Vigilante Haskel · 03-31-2011, 04:14 PM

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The dog King did not know much of the hoofed creatures that many of the pack, including himself, had formed bonds with. He had been so incredibly wary of the creatures at first, but the relationship that had formed between himself and the blood bay stallion he tentatively called his had surprised and intrigued him. The stallion had already been a part of the large group of horses located in the Miracles territory and he had been very vocal and physical about his concern about the dog mutt. They did not have the typical owner-horse relationship, but they seemed fond of one another, and Vigilante was not daft enough to claim he had tamed the stallion. He hadn’t, and he did not own him in the way others owned horses. They were companions at best.

“Is she?” he asked, an almost wondering tone to the question. He knew very little about horse breeding, and even less about what happened then. “How can you tell? Do they have many or just one?” After a pause, he explained, “Forgive me, but I know very little of horses, though I find them to be fascinating creatures.”

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Alder · 04-02-2011, 11:07 AM

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please don't mind his weirdnesss.... lol

Alder had always loved creatures different from himself. Anything, be it a bird or a horse, the boy had gravitated to it. He still did, finding that their silence or unknown language fascinating and comforting. As a pup he had talked to birds and bugs more then he had his brothers, and he remembered how it hurt to find out that they had never understood him. But it hadn't stopped him, not now at least. He still spoke with Lumiere, and still tried to hear the words that he knew she spoke. It was just jumbled in the whinnies and nays that came from her.

He was happy here, and the horses were a huge part of that happiness.

But the young male looked away when his King questioned him, though it was not harsh but obvious curiosity. But Alder felt his face grow warm with embarrassment, for he didn't know how to answer his questions. There was only once voice that spoke to him, and her soft and gentle tone had always said a single word. Honesty He mother's advice had been simple and straight forward and Alder knew nothing else. I believe so. He responded, his voice shaken slightly. I think she only has one, a girl. Alder paused, then added, Maybe.

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Vigilante Haskel · 04-08-2011, 02:07 AM

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Nonsense, I love him. <3

The storm had brought a heaviness to his heart that could not be cured by idle talk with his pack members, but the weight lessened with each conversation as he learned of the well-being of his members. The dog King worried for them in the stressful times that had fallen on the pack recently, and though nothing could be done to ease his worries completely, particularly with Kambujiya's absence, the King would take any bit of assurance that his pack was going to survive without problem.

Wise jade eyes studied the large creature, trying to see what Alder was able to see. All he saw was a horse larger than most in girth due to her expectant state. There was life growing in her, but it seemed different than it had been when Ayita had been pregnant. "It is amazing how you can tell so much," he mused. "You must have a way with them."

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Alder · 04-21-2011, 10:31 AM

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awwww! & sorry for the wait! I started to wrap this up a bit.

Of course Alder did not know for certain, it was only what he thought Lum was telling him. He was in tuned with his instincts, his mother having taught him to trust his gut, and that was how he seemingly "spoke" with the horse. But even if she was telling him, how would the mare know either? It was a mystery and they wouldn't know until she was ready to give birth. It was a scary notion of course, remembering Princess' birthing vividly. It was seemed painful, and terrifying. The boy didn't exactly want to be present for that again, for the stress son his fragile personality had been great, but he knew that he needed to give his support.

The King's words were something Alder had never expected and he looked at the doggish-hybrid with a light glaze gaze. This was not his mother praising him, nor was it his last alphess who was indeed his mother greatest friend. It was the King of Cour des Miracles, and his compliment made the boy turn from stunned to bashful in only a few moments. "Thank you sir." he spoke with the same manners as always.

"I can groom your horse next, if you'd like." The boy was happy to do that for the leader, and his tail wagged with the hopes that he would allow him to.

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Vigilante Haskel · 04-24-2011, 08:30 PM

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It's all good. :3 No worries about keeping me waiting, silly. <3

The dark-masked dog King could see the change in Alder's demeanor, shifting momentarily after the King's words. Vigilante had been trained to read the expressions and body language of others. It had been a part of his upbringing to learn such things and fine-tune them. Though much of his past was like another life now, this was one of his skills that he continued to use frequently. It was something he found to be useful for one of his position. Alder was one of the more timid members of the pack, most assuredly. Vigilante did not know much of his life's story, but he knew the puppy he had met by the lake had grown into a still-shy man.

"If you could, that would be greatly appreciated. Thank you," he said genuinely, seeing the eagerness with which Alder offered the service. Nádherné could sometimes be difficult to handle, but the King suspected that the wolf could handle him. He seemed to have a way with the horses. "I should be returning to the hotel soon, but I am glad for the chance to speak with you," the King spoke, a smile forming. It was time to return to his mate and his children to keep a close eye on them. Noah seemed more serious, the yin to Liam's light-hearted nature, and Vigilante wanted to ensure that Noah was able to have the childhood he deserved, even if he had to force it.

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Alder · 04-26-2011, 09:06 AM

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end here? Big Grin

His tale waved, and he patted the roan mare once more before beginning to gather the few brushes and hoof utensils that he would need to groom the King's horse. Alder was determined to do a good job, for when the dog-king needed his stallion he would be ready for a rider. The boy would clean his tack as well, for he had been running low of tasks to fill his time and he wished to please the pack's alpha.

Alder knew how much needed to be done since the storm, well he could imagine it at the very least. Roofs could be caved in, cabins and houses destroyed. Though he had not heard of anyone being really injured, there was still many things that the King needed to do. So when he excused himself Alder nodded, the bowed his head before giving a shaky Course Sir, pleasures mine. with a muffled voice. He was not even confident when speaking practiced words, but it was a mix of shyness, bashfulness and excitement for being able to do something constructive for the King that made his voice tremor so.

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