when these mean and lonely days are through
#1
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PROZACScan this be set on the 30th? also don't bother to match the length, i got carried away... and yet its still not that good. :|




PROZACSTo a human, the wilderness had always been a frightening thing. Even to the most season hiker or camper -- it had been foreign. Dangerous, a lot of the time. They had taken themselves so far away from nature that the result had been devastating. To a wolf, perhaps the city was the wilderness, the jungle of humanity, the tangled mess built of concrete and grass. The sun was setting, and Tsunami could already sense the ghosts of the past begin to flicker by, peering curiously at the two-legged creature with eyes that could no longer see. He couldn't see them so much as feel them. They frightened him no more than they ever had. It was like breathing.

PROZACSLike some wayward human looking to reconnect with nature, Tsunami sat in the shadow of a ten-story office building, mostly shielded from the chilly autumn wind. He had built a fire for warmth, perhaps even for company; somehow the merrily crackling flames seemed to speak to him, and as he sat in the shadow of a blood-red sky, he remembered the days when Flannery had looked into the fire's depths and spoke of the future. The shaman-woman, the high priestess; it had been long since Tsunami had tried her ancient techniques. He didn't have the proper herbs for it anyhow. Not anymore. Sometimes he considered going back there, going back to see Zell and Starla, but why, really? Most people were stepping stones to other people -- a rock in a river to keep you dry as you considered which bank to jump for. And then you left them behind with another piece of yourself, and you moved on.

PROZACSTsunami would have lied if he said he was happy. Back in the day, back when he was the lead hunter of Storm, barely a year old, he had thought then he was unhappy too. He had thought he was unhappy when Phasma and Ophelia had been raped; he had thought he was unhappy when Malachi died, and then Moxie and Hazel and Muse. He thought he was unhappy when, finally, the sun had set upon the thousands of years he had spent with Laruku. And during all those times, he had been unhappy. This unhappiness was different. It penetrated the very thing that made him him, just the same as any sadness did, but it was the kind that would never go away. Tsunami was tired of being shocked or surprised. His ex-lover was a murderer. He had known that for a long time. Segodi had told him about the dead coyote. Segodi, the guy he'd cheated on Laruku with. Ha. What a double standard he had. This was a different sort of murder. His son was dead, eaten, his daughter was gone, and Bane was like a whisper in the wind, now. Like everything else. Like his family; Ophelia and Thanos, Hazel and Muse and Ely and Tokyo, and the scared little boy with the green eyes, and his little clone Moxie. Like his friends, Layla and Iskata and Laruku.

PROZACSWhen he had started, he had had family. When he had been born, he'd had family, and friends. And he had always known he could return to them. What did he have now? Now, he had himself, and he had never felt so thoroughly alone. The sky was darkening, but the stars weren't out yet. It was cloudy, and even the moon was hiding her lovely face from him. Not a soul in sight but the damned, the dead ones and the long forgotten. He felt almost as if he belonged.

PROZACS







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#2
She had known she'd been wrong when she'd yelled at Phoenix, when she'd ranted and raved about her daughter's disappearance. Phoenix hadn't been the one to take her daughter away, really, when it came down to it she didn't even know if someone had taken her away. She'd left the packlands in a mess of emotions, too many things were running through her heart and head to keep her contained and close to the family she had. Silver and gold dipped paws carried her across the lands, deserted and hollow, like how she felt. She didn't want to believe what she feared, and yet she still put off going to Clouded Tears to find out the truth. Would it really matter in the end.. She didn't believe that Laruku would allow Firefly to stay in Clouded Tears, he knew who she was, he knew where she belonged, but would he even attempt to even care, that's the dark shadow that lay across her mind.

She looked up across the lands to realize that she'd found herself within the broken and beaten lands that once belonged to the humans. Brilliantly hued eyes gazed around as the wind whipped at her pelt and the howling rang through the alleyways and streets. The lands seemed to match her feelings, though she knew she shouldn't feel this way. There was nothing to suggest her daughter was hurt, if anything she was just with DaVinci across the border playing at some childhood game where the worries of a mother and father didn't amount to a damn thing.

She sighed and ran her nails through her hair as she tried to imagine why she hadn't even said where she was going. It wasn't like she'd forbidden the children from knowing their brother, infact she would have loved them to know eachother... but they were just still too young to be trampsing across the wilderness on their own adventures. She was barely old enough to venture across the packlands on her own, muchless across borders. The mother wished she hadn't filled her children's heads full of the stories of their clan and the Sadira line, how they had been so powerful once and their grandmother had ruled the pack of Clouded Tears. She should have been more careful..

She had stopped for a moment to gaze across the lands, but just as she was turning to go on her way she caught the scent of an old familiar face. Turning her head she raised her head and called out to the ghostly town. "Tsu?.." Ghosts... this place was full of them.
#3
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cradle me in your crooked heart
This place was full of ghosts. Tsunami could see them, though half the time he was positive it was his head playing tricks on him and laughing while he wallowed in confusion, anxiety, sometimes fear. He had a vivid imagination, really. His mind could split the world in half, scratch a hole in the sky, make the oceans boil like the armageddon was upon them. His mind could do better than that: make him believe that everything was alright. What a fucking joke. Long ago he had given up trying to understand himself, and focused now on trying to better himself -- he was a good person, even if there was a sadistic Russian in his head, taunting and encouraging the monster that reared in its shrieking chains. Surely he was a good person. He had also long ago given up trying to forgive himself for the follies and the intentional sins alike, murder and adultery and the way he couldn't even raise his own children. Too much thought about these things and insanity ensued. But it usually did anyway. At least he had never eaten anyone.
This particular ghost he could hear, rather than see. This voice belonged to a ghost that walked and talked still, that breathed in the air and whose heart had yet to stop beating. Tsunami was alert instantly and he sat up, one hand on the ground to steady himself as he stood. And there she was, in the road nearby: Iskata Sadira, one of the few wolves in the world he considered a friend. Of course, the ghostwatcher had already known through Phasma that she was alive, but seeing her for himself made it more real. He was glad to see her, glad that Fate had allowed their paths to cross tonight. He needed the company. Why had she left Clouded Tears? maybe laruku ate one of her babies, too. Mischa giggled. you know... her filthy rape-spawn. Iskata, the one-eyed wolf said, smiling at the lady. It was a halfhearted smile for reasons that had nothing at all to do with her. Tsunami simply didn't know what to do. He knew what he had to do, but it was a question of gathering up the nerve to do it. It might be the end of him -- or the beginning. God, it's good to see you. Come sit down. Are you okay? He asked because he was empathic enough to understand she didn't look her happiest. He was thoroughly distracted, anxious and plagued with things that would never leave him, but he'd always find time for a friend.






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