Healing Old Wounds

Falgar · 03-15-2011, 09:20 PM

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OOC: Don't worry about matching my post length =P

WC: 600+

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Not even the ever brightening day was enough to pull they grey male out of his constant state of depression. On his chest he currently had a twisted up mess of emotions, confusion and frustration being the most prominent on the mix. He was just so confused with what had happened some days ago, so confused that he had been avoiding the ashen male for almost a week since he appeared on the borders of Phoenix Valley. Yet he knew the encounter couldn’t be avoided forever and he was unconsciously looking for him.

Even now he wasn’t sure of why he was so upset with the whole thing. There was something at the back of his head that made him want to just throw all this negative thoughts and just look for his father, tackle him and hug him like he used to when he was nothing that a young wolf. The scars that had appeared on his father’s body were definitely a proof for his words but there was always the voice of doubt rampaging on his mind. At least he was glad his father didn’t finish up as battered as he had out of the fight with their old pack.

Moving towards the pack lands heart he searched for the most upon area he could find. He would have personally liked the edges better but the heart of the land was an easier place to be found. Sitting on a rock that was big enough to hold his Secui body he took some moments to order his thoughts. He knew he needed this moment so much that he had even dismissed the raven that had always rested on his scarred skull to avoid her usual angry outbursts knowing they wouldn’t be needed this time.

Taking a deep breath he threw his head towards the tree shrouded sky, letting it go as long as his breath allowed letting the message carry on the mayor distance possible. It was a call directed to his father only and even if he was partially not wanting for him to come it was time to fix things or the wound would only cut deeper. A pair of howls came up with the other to make sure that the message would reach his ears.

When finished he slowly lowered his head until his nose was pointed to the cold gray from his current perch. His body stiffened as he impatiently waited for the older wolf to make his appearance on the glade he had chosen. He was so nervous that he began rasping his claws against the rock’s soft surface, producing an ear splitting sound but helping some of the tension to lift off his shoulders. Each movement only caused his old necklace to make a soft metallic noise, sending nervous chills through his stiffened spine. He had been planning to make a symbolic grave for his mother and using the battered accessory to mark it but he couldn’t quite part with the item, he considered it as the last thing he had left of his now gone mother.

A sudden rustle made him jump out of his heart wrenching thoughts, even if at first there was nothing the scent on the area made it clear who the source of the noise was. A large ashen body made its way through the bushes in front of him, causing Falgar to involuntary pull his body back and force it back down and pull a stiff try at a smile on his face

“Hello father, we need to talk”

a short nod coming after that to show at least the needed respect to the other wolf. And at this moment he finally felt ready, ready to finish with the feeling of dread that had been clinging to his heart for so long.

Virgil Hall · 03-15-2011, 11:42 PM

Virgil had nearly given up on his son. Falgar had obviously been avoiding him since he arrived. He understood that the boy need space and time but the old man was getting impatient. Yet he was also stubborn. so giving up was out of the question. So that left him talking to his son. And he was ready to when he heard the howl for him. He howled back and decided to have some fun.

He snuck up on his son and hid behind some bushes. He moved slightly then cursed silently when the bush moved. He stepped out sheepishly. He gave Falgar an encouraging smile at being acknowledged as his father. "I was wondering when you would stop avoiding me. You couldn't ignore me forever, Falgar." He scolded him gently.

Falgar · 03-16-2011, 01:09 PM

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OOC: Rawr

WC: 500+

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The bicolored sight avoided the fellow green eyes for the time being, afraid of what would he find on the pair of eyes that was oh so similar to his own. Even at the older wolf’s scold he still did no move to answer him as he was still unsure of what to say or do. He was actually being foolish as the initial courage he had mustered to call for his father had dissipated as soon as he made his way through the area. Swallowing the tony lump that had been hanging on his throat he finally raised his lowered gaze, still avoiding his eyes but at least focusing on his furred chest.

“I wasn’t ignoring you father. I just needed time to think about everything. Please understand that your act of appearance practically turned my world upside down.”

It was until now that he had regained the courage needed to look on those so known green eyes. They definitely held that same glint of determination that would sometimes appear on his mind when he had to think. The voice the ashen male used was the same that would mentally scold him when he did something wrong and would praise him when he was successful. This male in front of him was definitely his father a no matter how his brain tried to convince him against it by showing the last the scenes he had seen as he ran he knew deep inside of him that this was the old wolf he had always idolized.

The need to get nearer to his father had begun to become overwhelming but he was not ready to do so as there where some things that still needed answers.

“But I still don’t understand. How could you survive the attack? You were practically overwhelmed by those beasts”

an acidic and murderous tone replaced his normally calm one as the monsters of his mind came back.

And then the guilt finally hit him full force. He felt guilty for treating his father the way he had since he had reappeared on his life, initially out of doubt but it gradually turned into a deep feeling of frustration and slightly of rebellion against the though as he had already accepted the old wolf’s dead and seeing him standing right in front of him and full of life made his usually tangle up mind only a further mess

“Father I want to apologize for my previous behavior. But please understand that I am confused, I don’t know what to do or think… I just can’t believe it”

he found it ridiculous that he had accepted his mother’s dead so swiftly but not his father’s survival.

Keeping his emotions on check was becoming harder by the minute, his normal techniques to calm himself where not working at all. To hold back his body the Secui practically stabbed his sharp claws into the rock he was in, creating small indents on the flat surface to allow the offending claws space to move.

Virgil Hall · 03-16-2011, 01:33 PM

Virgil could tell his son was nervous and when the boy explained his actions, he waved them off. I know that you weren't totally avoiding me. He said softly. He looked a bit ashamed. To tell you the truth, I've tried to stay out of your way. I wasn't quite sure where I stood with you and figured I'd play it safe. He gave his son a grin.

At the attack, he was saddened. Your mother took the worst of it actually. I tried to protect her but they blamed her since 'the female is supposed to raise the young.' He gave a wry smile. I must admit. Now that I think about it I'm insulted by that. I did teach you how to hunt and acrobatic running. Do you still do that? You were good at it. Then he sobered. In some ways I can't account for how I survived.

At his son's apology, he said, Falgar. There is nothing to apologize for. I would have acted the same way. And I understand that you were and are still confused. He lowered his eyes sadly. I blame myself for what happened. I should have not stayed with that pack. I should have taken you and your mother away from there. Then we might still be a whole family.

Falgar · 03-18-2011, 01:10 AM

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OOC:

WC: 500+

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A sharp jab of pain was stricken to his heart as the shadow of sorrow fell on his father’s expression, he knew that even after that fateful event had only happened when he was a pup it was still a touchy theme that he shouldn’t be dwelling in, it still hurt him as well but he was to know the truth one way or another. “Momma”

the comment was no more than a whisper as the older wolf explained his sight lowering once more for a few moments before focusing on the green eyes before him once again.

Uneven ears rose at the mentioning of acrobatic running, he remembered doing that when he was younger but stopped after… the event.

“I must tell the truth father. I haven’t practiced it much. Pack duties and everything.”

It was in part truth, but he was not telling it all at not mentioning the fact that sometimes when he tried to practice it once again he had to stop for the always recurring attacks of melancholy he got that would only get him on a sour mood and with no more will to actually even move.

“Well luck always smiled your way didn’t she? She just seemed to have her mouth half frozen back on that frozen hell hole”

his try at humor came out dry and weird, causing him to cough uncomfortably after a few minutes at how unfitting for the situation it actually was.

The more time he passed with his newfound father the better he was filling with it, the doubt and the nasty feeling that had been clogged on his throat since the first time he saw him at the borders was beginning to fade away, yet the process was not going as fast as he wanted as no matter how hard he tried he could not drop the stiffened pose his body was in, at least he had been able to get his claws unstuck from the poor rock.

Panic and pain rose to his mind as his father was actually making himself guilty for what had happened that day, with eyes as large as plates his lips pulled back slightly on pure disgust for himself. All along he knew he was the one to blame for all that mess, he had gotten careless and the bill had come for all.

“You are not to blame father” each word came out broken as sorrow began to feel each corner of his body “It was all my fault, I…I should have known better than running around on a form I shouldn’t had taken, but still I did it! They saw me while running and went for you first, all that mess could have been evaded if I had did as you had told me to but I didn’t! It’s…. my entire fault”

not wanting the expression from the ashen wolf he partially turned his back to him to hide his face to him. The bitter taste of guilt had always been stuck on his mouth as he knew all along that he could still be living happily back on Alaska if he hadn’t been so foolish, and talking about it for the one that had received the whole hit only made it worse.

Virgil Hall · 03-23-2011, 08:47 PM

He wanted to hug his son at the pain that the death of his mother caused but wasn't sure if that would be appreciated yet. I tried to help her, but... He trailed off sadly. He was stabbed with guilt and felt the start of his spiral into his own pit of despair. But then he mentally shook his head. He needed to be strong and not berate himself for their past.

At Falgar's revelation of not practicing, he gave a smile. Things happen. I understand perfectly. His smile turned slightly mischievously. I'm a little rusty myself. Want to practice together soon? It was partly the truth. He hadn't felt like doing them so he was rusty. But hopefully that would provide a father/son bonding moment.

As Falgar explained what his point of view was, he shook his head. He knew whose fault it was. Son, now listen to me. It's not your fault or my fault. It was their fault. He said strongly but not harshly. He needed him to understand that it wasn't their fault. When Falgar turned away, Virgil decided to go up and take a plunge. He gently nudged his son, hoping that the physical contact was alright.

Falgar · 04-03-2011, 08:40 PM

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Even with the brief twitch his ears gave as the words reached him he did not turn his sight towards Virgil, he didn’t even dare to. His overwhelmed brain had to take a few minutes before even processing what his father had said, softly clearing his throat in an uncomfortable reflex. “Sure father, as soon as my paw is healed” almost as in answer more weight was pressed into this said limb without even thinking about it, a small jump on his face as the ghost of pain ran through his nerves.

He partially wanted everything to just go away; he was perfectly content with the way he had being building at the thought of being alone. Of course at the beginning the idea was like poison to his mind but he had slowly come to accept it as a part of him. Having the ashen wolf here with him only reopened the channel for this same poison to flow freely. But that was not what he really sought, he was not a coward and if he had to face the situation no matter how bad it hurt he would.

He had not noticed until now that his father had been speaking to him. Embarrassment showered down on him as he had not been paying attention, but four words where more than enough to understand what he just said “It was their fault”. Those simple words creating a constant echo that moved though all his being. The feeling of not being held responsible for what happened made a wave of peace wash over him, the anguish that had been holding his heart in an iron grip was slowly giving way. Falgar could barely feel as his father made physical contact with him as the complicated knot that was surrounding his mind slowly began untangling itself. Welcoming the warmth from the known touch he leaned forward, resting his neck over Virgil’s own, aching for the comfort the older wolf seemed to be offering.

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Virgil Hall · 04-04-2011, 01:31 PM

He gave a happy grin. He would be able to spend time with his son. He glanced down at his paw. What happened to it? he asked with a mixture of concern and curiosity. He wanted to know more about what had happened in his son's life since he left. But that was for another time.

He could tell his son was still conflicted about something. He timidly asked, Do you need me to go? almost afraid of the answer. He didn't want to leave his son now that he had found him but would respect Falgar's wishes if he wanted him to leave.

His words seemed to have a positive affect on Falgar. It seemed like a bunch of weight had melted away from his shoulders. As his son leaned into him, he felt a sense of peace wash over him. It was almost as if they were giving each other comfort and healing their hearts.

Falgar · 04-07-2011, 04:53 PM

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The moments passed seemed to be ages as he just stood there, his own fur in contact of the one that he had believed to be nothing but a tortured ghost of his past. He had wanted to make some kind of physical contact with the wolf since some time, mostly to make sure this was real. But now he found himself relieved of the burden he had being carrying for some days, and the peace of his mind and soul finally decided to awaken from its anger induced dream.

He took the opportunity to take in his father’s scent, old and earthy as he remembered so fondly. “I missed you father. I am sorry for being such a fool…and coward.” And yes he had been a coward as he had been running from the confrontation in fear of what the older wolf would reveal, fear for seeing the true consequences of his actions instead of forgetting about them as he had done for so much time.

Falgar really hated it when he laid the burden of worry into someone else’s shoulders; he simply found it unnecessary to do it. Yet he had just done it by the mentioning of his injury, the only thing the limb had done was bringing pain and worry. “Oh don’t worry. I broke it when saving a friend from under a fallen tree. It’s healing nicely” still he wouldn’t reveal that it was supposed to be bound up in something to help it heal correctly, but he did everything possible to avoid having it covered as it only made the injury more noticeable.

When he deemed it enough time he went back to his original place, this time his sight focused completely on the fellow green eyes, no longer seeing the monster he had seen time ago at the pack borders but instead the last thing he had left of his family and in no way he would let go again.

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Virgil Hall · 04-22-2011, 01:34 AM

OOC: Sorry about the lateness. School has been busy/stressful for me.

IC: He grinned as his son obviously was taking in both his presence and scent. He didn't know all the details of what had happened to his son since they had last seen each other. But he knew that it was tough for him. So it was understandable that he had been standoffish with him. I've missed you as well, my son. He gave his son's shoulder a nuzzle. And you have nothing to be sorry for. I understand why you avoided me.

At the story of how Falgar got his injury, he gave a proud smile. So you were being a hero and not reckless? He teased gently. Although I'm no expert, wouldn't it heal better if it was wrapped better? He was worried about his son and only wanted him to be whole, mentally and physically.

When Falgar pulled away, he instantly missed his son. But he was determined not to lose him again. How about you show me around and introduce your old man to your friends? Unless you think I'll embarrass you. Which I might. He teased. But he was serious about getting to know the wolves that were important to his son. He then grinned. How long until your leg is healed?

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