It had been too long, she'd been gone too long and now there was nothing left. She had yet to find her children, but she'd learned that her mate who'd promised to wait til the ends of time for her return had disappeared in the night. Skoll had informed her that he had arrived in the new lands alive and for the most part well, but now he'd disappeared. The wolf of silver and gold really didn't know how to take the broken promise, something inside her seemed to have broken as well when that promise had shattered.
Gold shot blue eyes gazed with dislike at the skulls of warning that bordered the lands she sat on the edge of. Another thing she had little like for, but she wasn't sure she hated exactly. So one thing atleast hadn't changed she thought as she surveyed the lands along the bordered. She knew a few new packs had appeared, but none of the old ones. Loyal, aren't they... The thought cycled through her mind, of the old pack members that had so quickly set out to find new packs once Storm and Clouded Tears had vanished in the fire.
She stopped her pacing along the border as she studied the lands, her mind a whirl of other thoughts.. her soul on fire while it seemed ice flowed through her veins. Dark thoughts for a dark time.
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Sorry for the wait just been a little bit of a busy week. Mice/dog/dad being away and junk. Haha.
It had been a while since that scent had crossed her path. In fact, it had been a really long time, but she would never forget it. Not now, not ever. Iskata and Faolin had grown very close, but something had severed their ties. Her memory was fading of those days, slowly, and something else was taking over her. Ever since she had given birth to her puppies, things started to slip from her. Certain things she had always thought she could keep. Memories especially, and certain aspects of her personality. Curiosity was a main thing, now she did not care. Although, this scent, Iskata Sadira, this was something interesting. Did Phoenix make it out of the fire? The girl leaped up from her spot, looking back at her babies behind her resting quietly.
Faolin emerged out of the entrance to their little cave they were staying in and stretched out her legs. Red eyes flicked up in interest and she closed her eyes as she inhaled the very faint scent of the Sadira woman. Diving down the side of a cliff and landing neatly on four paws she dashed away and covered the rest of the rocks with ease and head towards her destination at a swift pace. Crimson eyes picked out the woman in the distance and the girl could not help but smile. A slight tension rose, she could feel it, although it was hardly there. Two friends, once friends, were they still considered friends. Faolin took a moment to study her movements before approaching her and coming out from the cover of the trees.
"Iskata. You seem to have made it out," she paused for a moment, not sure on what she should say, could say. "It's been a while," she commented, pausing in her step before settling a couple feet away from the larger femme. The weight she had put on from the puppies was gone and revealed her slim figure yet again. Iskata seemed like she had hardly changed, but there was something different about her. Those eyes, something changed. Something bad perhaps. But, something had definitely changed, she could feel it in the air like lightening coursing through her fur and veins. Faolin sat, a little on edge, tail curled around her in a cat-like manner as she waited for the woman's response.
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When she saw the slight figure crossing the lands she felt a jolt cross her shattered heart, and yet something made her stop short from running to greet the hybrid who had once been her greatest friend. Instead she scanned the rest of the land that spread across her view to make certain a overprotective male wasn't going to follow the scarlet and cream female. She stayed quiet and didn't move until the other girl joined her. She dipped her head in a slow nod as Faolin stopped short of where she stood.
She smiled sadly and shook her head at the words that greeted her though. No, there was no danger where I was.. I came to late to help though... The thought made her chest constrict at the idea that she wasn't there for her family when they needed her, she'd been off on an adventure trying to find her wayward young ones while the angelic obedient ones were left home with their father... and yet did it matter now she thought.. she knew that Phoenix had disappeared from the lands, even after he'd made it out of the firestorm that had driven them all across the mountain.
Raising her eyes up to meet Faolin's she shook her head at the truth, wishing it wasn't so true, but knowing there was nothing they could do. So many things had shattered between the two females, and now Iskata's heart was breaking again. Longer than had ever need be you know... she whispered, the words tugging at her emotional wounds. Still with your... she couldn't even bring herself to ask if Gabriel had survived, somewhere deep inside she wished he hadn't, but she wouldn't even want another to share the pain she'd gone through once, and now was drowning in again. Life was cruel, she knew that now..
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Uggh. Life sucks! D:
Oh, god, I could have gone on forever with this post. :b
Faolin could feel a well of emotion rising up in her throat. It was all she could do to not choke on it or let tears stream down her face. With Iskata here, it brought on a whole new feeling. Memories flooded her mind and made her want to scream out and just have everything she had ever felt be released right then and there. Faolin was strong though, and she forced it back down her throat, into her body where it would remain if only for a while longer. With Iskata's weary voice it seemed to hit her harder and the girl flinched in her spot. Phoenix must not have made it out. Red eyes squinted as she searched Iskata for any feeling, but the woman felt different, something was not right. Yet, she could not pick it up. It seemed this touch she had with other's emotions was slipping and fading slowly. She hated it. She hated how everything was at the moment. Why were things so different?
The red femme rose to her feet and was about to step forward, but paused for a brief second. She was hit with another flood of memories. Phoenix, he had kids, oh god, did they not make it out? It was all Faolin could do to hold back questions. Wondering how he was doing, where he was, where were their kids. Oh, god. She stepped back again for a brief amount of time so she could fully shift. The girl tended to stay in her halfling form and she had grown quite experienced in shifting and she shifted quickly to her were form completely the transformation and watching Iskata. It was something she did not do in front of most people and as her hair fell down around her face she looked up at the woman, emotion evident in her eyes. It was all she could do to hold herself to that spot instead of running forth and hugging Iskata.
She was being held back by one little string.
"Gabriel?" she looked at her questioningly. Is that what she wanted to know. Something sad was in her tone, jealous almost. She was not sure. It was hard reading emotions now and they got so confusing and made her want to just go back to being little again. It was so much stronger, and now it was fading and she felt like she was losing a piece of herself. "He made it, most of our clan did. Probably because we were so close to these lands anyway aand so far from the fire. It had spread so quickly," red eyes shifted to the side and she thought about Arkham. They had to leave him behind and she wanted to scream and punch and beat herself for it. He was gone. She should of ran back and saved him.
That string finally snapped.
With a new flood of feelings made her break and tears streamed down her face and she looked at the wolf helplessly. "What has happened to us? I feel so lost here, these lands are so strange," she voiced her fears so openly. Iskata had at one point been the only one she could trust, besides Gabriel that is. Iskata helped her with everything, they grew so close, knew everything about one another. Spent days with each other just doing nothing, yet everything. Those days were nestled deep within her heart, but something happened along the way. Something had ripped the two apart. Fate had a nasty way of doing that to her it seemed. Everything she ever cared about was ripped away from her. Dangled in front of her again before disappearing into thin air.
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She sat quietly while Foalin shifted. There was nothing she could really say to change the past and it was better left where it was. Too many open sores and bruised hearts left behind. There seemed to be a taunt line drawn between them, the note on the string echoing across the sands as they faced eachother tense but unyielding. She didn't know what was making her hold back from being near the other. It wasn't that she didn't trust her.. but so muchhad changed.
When she finally said the word that Iskata herself wouldn't she nodded and sighed softly. "You were lucky then." Her voice was soft as she watched the other. She could tell that her old friend wasn't telling her the full story, but she knew the reason. There was nothing they could do to change the past, and who they were, what they were, didn't help at all. She didn't know what to do anymore and it was slowly eating away at who they'd been. The happiness and carefree souls.. where had they gone.
When the tears filled her friend's eyes Iskata felt her heart quiver and she tried to swallow the emotions. She gave up and took the steps between them. She couldn't fix the past, but she did miss her friend."I'm not sure Faolin. It's all in the past, but I'm not sure how to pick the pieces backup and piece them together. I'm not sure if it's even possible anymore." she stated truthfully as she wrapped her arms around the shorter female, tears clouding her eyes as she tried to keep her voice strong.
"I'm sorry.." Short and simple. She wished that she could change the past, erase that day, but she couldn't. Could there even be happiness in a friendship that walked on a tightwire act. She buried her head in Faolin's hair as the tears overcame her and flowed free. How had they gone this long, she'd miss her friend so much and now it seemed like she had no one.
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Uggh. Life sucks! D:
This is making me feel sad now. ;o;
Faolin nodded, she knew she was lucky in the fact her entire family... well, almost, had made it out alive. Arkham had gotten trapped somewhere and she forced herself and Rachias to go. It was her fault that the boy was not here with them. It was all her fault. She took in a deep shaky breath, but what could she do? All three of them could not die in that fire. They had to get out while they could, and whoever was left had to get out on their own or perish. It seemed that Arkham had fallen into the other side, but she hoped he was still alive. Somewhere surviving on his own.
Her head jerked up to look at Iskata as the woman moved forward and Faolin practically fell into her arms almost sobbing, but suppressed that emotion if only for a couple minutes longer. She felt if she let it out she would never feel the same. If she did, the guilt that hung in her stomach would be released and she would somehow be at peace. She did not want to because maybe she would be at peace and the guilt would fade. Not allowing that to happen, she wanted to make sure she paid for everything, but somewhere inside her wanted to let go. She was a leader now and a mother, she needed to be strong for everyone if only her children.
Faolin buried her muzzle into Iskata's throat, closing her eyes and wrapping her arms around her. It was all so familiar and she was brought back to the days they had spent on the beach on the borders of Inferni. How much fun they had then, and now everything was being ripped right out from under their feet. She doubted Iskata even knew about the children she had carried and gave birth to, it had been so long since they had talked or seen each other. But, it was not something she wanted to tell right now, it just didn't seem right yet.
"No, I'm sorry for letting things slip so far away from us, everything has been in shambles lately and settling down in a new area is not making it any better liked I hoped it would," she sighed, her words barely a whisper because she could not help but choke a few of them out if it was raised any higher. A lot of her friendships had fallen apart and she was cut off more and more with the world. The friends she had that were wolves were gone now and all she had was Inferni and Gabriel. She loved Gabriel to death and would follow him to the end of the world, kids in tow, but she felt saddened by the fact how many friends she had lost over the years. Gabriel was one of the few that stood remaining by her side after all this time and she was thankful for that.
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Iskata knew she was on dangerous grounds but she didn't care anymore. She didn't care about the past, she didn't care about the damn wars and the tension that had hung between them for so long. She felt like she'd lost all her friends the past year. Phasma had passed on, Phoenix was gone, and Faolin had been so distant. They'd been divided by so much that she wasn't even sure that there was enough glue left to piece their relationship back together but she sure as hell was going to try. She'd had enough of standing back and watching everything pass her by, she wasn't going to lose what was left of their world they'd once had.
She hadn't expected the younger girl to cling to her so tight, but Iskata just held on to her friend and let her let out the pent up emotions. She knew how it could get at times eating at one's heart and soul. There was nothing you could do but just give up and let it out. When the words came, just barely a whisper Iskata held on tight to her friend and shushed her words away. She stood there for a long moment until the tears brimmed her eyes and she spoke up, her words broken and sad. "But we all just arrived, don't judge too soon hon'..." She pulled back from Faolin's grip as she studied the girl, shaking her shoulders gently as the tears rolled down her cheeks. Trying to show her that they were real, they were there and that things took time.
She smiled sadly at Faolin and enclosed her in her arms again as she laughed, the sound choked by her own tears that were flowing freely. The times were so sad, it seemed that their lives since the war had been marked by an endless cruel cycle. She only hoped that what happiness they'd been left with wasn't going to be viciously ripped away from them now. Let them keep what little bit there was left, it was the only hope left. "I'm not going anywhere girl, I'm back and I'll be right here.. I promise." She said as she stared down at Faolin, a weak smile lit her lips as she prayed that nothing was going to break that promise.
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What would have Gabriel thought if he saw the two girls there hugging? Would he think Faolin betrayed him, because he hated Iskata, and most other wolves to be honest. His own mate letting one of them staying on the borders. Guilt started to seep into her mind, maybe they should start meeting on more neutral grounds. A place where she could ensure the safety of her clan and everyone else caught up in all this mess. The girl sighed as she stayed there in Iskata's warm embrace, she was starting to calm down and the works that dropped from Iskata's mouth were so soothing.
"I miss the old lands so bad, and so many were lost. I wish things could go back to normal, before the fire, before I was even a year old when everything felt so right and there was no wrongs, well because I was a puppy, I guess I did not see all the wrong this world could bring," she whispered quietly, staring blankly out over the lands of Inferni. She did not want to ever leave this moment, it was perfect, felt so right. Faolin distrusted wolves now, and that hate was growing thick and almost choking her. The wolves had changed, more so in fact then when she had to deal with them before. If she were to stay in Inferni, she would have to hate them and be wary of them. Iskata was different though, they had all been through so much. It was heart wrenching and she hoped that Iskata would stay with her forever in these lands. Nothing could separate them again, at least she hoped.
Faolin would fight for it, fight death until it finally caught her. She hoped Iskata would not break that promise, last thing Faolin needed was another heart break. "Where's Phoenix?" she asked, pulling away from the girl. Was he alright? Did he make it out okay? Phoenix had been one of Faolin's best friends, and one of her only good friends left around outside Inferni for a long time. He helped her with her powers, but it seemed now that he had disappeared her empathy had grown weaker and weaker to a point she felt ... normal. That was the worst feeling ever. Her guy wrenched and it took everything to hold down her breakfast. What if he didn't make it out okay? Wide eyed with panic she looked over to Iskata, awaiting an answer.
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Standing there on the edge of suicide she had her arms embraced around one of the leaders of the clan everyone seemed to hate so much. She couldn't understand when everything had gone so wrong, when she'd lost so much.. why things had to be like this now. Her soft calming words drifted away as Faolin began to speak again, she listened quietly at the sad yearning her younger friend spoke of. Her heart seemed to weep as Foalin brought up the past, the near perfect carefree world they roamed in back before the war.
She smiled softly into Faolin's hair as she remembered way back when when things were simpler, when they were allowed to play like children. Faolin to her was like a best friend and her own daughter rolled into one, a sister and more.. yet they lived on the wrong sides. "You think we could have lived in the bliss forever.. if our family had never crossed eachother.." Her words were murmured above the cream and crimson female's head as she held her eyes closed tight. She wished she could turn back time to when things were right again but like her friend she knew the past was behind them, there was nothing left but the two of them.
She shook her head as she felt the tears starting up again, a sad laughter coming up from her chest, Rubbing her eyes with her hands she spoke up wistfully, "Think we'd ever be able to sit around with our children one day and tell them about the good old day.. back before the war without blood being spilled.." her voice was slightly bitter as she wished so much that the phrase she just spoke of was possible, their children together without bloodshed, just like how their world use to be.
When Faolin pulled away Iskata didn't want to let her go, but she let the girl slip from her embrace as they stood their studying one another. When the words broke from Faolin's maw Iskata could help but turn away. She didn't know what to say because she wasn't really for sure anymore. Shaking her head she finally gazed back at Faolin, the look in her eyes could tell all even without the words. "He's gone..." the words didn't feel right, even though she knew they were. He might not be dead, but he was gone. He'd left to go back to look for others, she knew that now. He wasn't in the lands around her as far as she could tell and from what Skoll had said. "Skoll.. made sure he escaped from the fire, but he left on his own after everyone had begun to settle in.. I'm still looking for our children.." She held Faolin's gaze for a moment before looking away. She didn't want to admit how scared she was that her babes hadn't made it out. She had missed so much of their lives already and she needed them... She couldn't do this alone anymore, she needed to belong somewhere, to have those she loved right there.
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