[html]
THE THINGS THAT I'VE LOVED
______THE THINGS THAT I'VE LOST
THE THINGS I'VE HELD SACRED
______________THAT I'VE DROPPED
The moonlight was always empty
And he always found it remarkably hollow.
She was mother, once, and sister too
back when the animals lived in the stars
and looked down on the earth.
Behind them the world had burnt,
consumed by the holy fire of God.
It had been his son that started it,
such a holy blaze,
it was his son who had ended the world.
Somewhere out in the dark
a voice was speaking,
though he knew that voice all too well,
and knew the voice was his own.
I won't lie no more you can bet
I don't want to learn what I'll need to forget
[/html]
[html]
Sometimes, he wished that Ahren would just go and seek out some of the others that had made it over the mountain, that he would go and join one of those new packs and get on with that life he said he was living. It was easy to want that, but the tawny hybrid wasn't sure he wanted to know exactly what it would be like if he had nothing to keep him occupied and no one to have as company now and again other than the laughter in his head. Everything between them was strange and wrong and awkward and comfortable and right all at once. He didn't like it, but it had already become the status quo and he had never been one for great change.
Hey, he offered quietly, approaching the campfire. Laughter in skull because even so simple a greeting he'd always associated with someone and someplace else. How's your eye been? Genuine concern but small talk all the same. It always was.
[/html]
[html]
THE THINGS THAT I'VE LOVED
______THE THINGS THAT I'VE LOST
THE THINGS I'VE HELD SACRED
______________THAT I'VE DROPPED
_____ Like it or not, Ahren had a competition in him. To join another pack meant he would no longer be the master of his own destiny, and this he could not stand. He knew this in his secret heart. The anger and hatred in his heart was all consuming and it would force him to challenge those in his way. He had to be in control. He had to answer to no man except himself, and nothing on earth could changed that.
_____ Except the moon had pulled Ahren away and he was no longer aware of his own being. The other in him remained ever alert, ever vigilant. It needed the boy as the boy needed him, and so they remained bound together, just as his ward and the scarred man approaching were bound. Only his eyes betrayed there was any change, for in this state they were all too sharp and all too aware of the world. Ahren was never so sentient, with one foot in the grave—but he saw the line and that was enough. The red eyed creature (for he did not consider himself anything more) regarded his companion quietly, reading to see which of the two it was, and answered when satisfied it was not the laughing man. “He’s going to go blind in it,” he said in a voice that was not quite his own. “It’s remarkable he’s adapted as well as he has to his vision problems.”
I won't lie no more you can bet
I don't want to learn what I'll need to forget
[/html]
[html]
...Ahren? Already soft, his voice became even quieter. This had happened before, once or twice, he couldn't remember. The image of the man with a knife pointed to him came rather suddenly -- how did he forget these things so easily. He could have laughed at the realization and implications; they were so fucking alike. And yet, they were obviously different in just as many ways. After all, whoever was speaking to him now wasn't a Cheshire Cat with nothing but destruction on his mind. Or at least, if he was, it wasn't obvious yet. He'd tried to kill him once, after all (but for Laruku, attempted murder was easy to forgive, wasn't it?)
Who are you? It was almost a question for the real Ahren too.
[/html]
[html]
THE THINGS THAT I'VE LOVED
______THE THINGS THAT I'VE LOST
THE THINGS I'VE HELD SACRED
______________THAT I'VE DROPPED
_____ He was a sentient being with a purpose in his blood—creation and destruction. He had been the one who suggested things burn, rape women, teach young men how to take drugs. He had been there when the murders began and he would be there at the end. That was a promise made to him by the boy’s mother, long before she had fallen into shadow, but not before she went mad. “The whisperer in the darkness,” he offered, though explained no further.
_____ “Don’t be afraid,” the other added. “It is not you who is my enemy.”
I won't lie no more you can bet
I don't want to learn what I'll need to forget
[/html]
[html]
Fear was a funny thing. Sometimes he had none. Sometimes he had nothing else. Tonight, he didn't know which it was. They were lost in space and drifting without air. The crickets were already singing all around them; the air was warmer and the winter was gone. The answer given to him told him nothing at all, but he felt like he could ask anything else and keep asking and he would at least receive a reply, even if answers would most likely remain vague and aqueous. Laruku stared hard at the other, but he didn't imagine that he'd be able to spot anything different.
Why do you stay here? With me? Of course, by "you," he meant Ahren, but he felt crazy enough without having to ask this creature what his name was. Ryoujoku was sneering something sinister, but he couldn't listen. If you're going to live, why here?
[/html]
[html]
THE THINGS THAT I'VE LOVED
______THE THINGS THAT I'VE LOST
THE THINGS I'VE HELD SACRED
______________THAT I'VE DROPPED
_____ The question finally caused him to move the muscles in his face. They did not so much move as they cracked, causing an odd smile to grace his face. It looked more unnatural then anything else he had displayed—it looked as if he didn’t know whether to smile or grimace. “Where else would you have him go?” There had been other paths, but they were closed now. Mab would not open her doors to her cousin the way he was now. The ships were all gone. His family was scattered like ash in a snowstorm. Ahren knew it and the creature knew it as well. He knew everything and, perhaps, just a little more.
I won't lie no more you can bet
I don't want to learn what I'll need to forget
[/html]
[html]
Anywhere else seemed like it would be better than just there. Maybe his family was scattered, but didn't he at least know where some of them were? Where did Jasper want to be? And where had Corona gone again? But it would near hypocritical for him to mention family when he had more or less chased his own children away, preferring them stay in a place he had no access. The hybrid sighed and sat down to stare into the fire. The same question from the other night resurfaced again. Why didn't you leave me? There was nothing for him here, much less than there had been back there, and he just didn't know what to do with himself anymore. They were the same.
[/html]
[html]
THE THINGS THAT I'VE LOVED
______THE THINGS THAT I'VE LOST
THE THINGS I'VE HELD SACRED
______________THAT I'VE DROPPED
_____
The blonde tilted his head slightly, bird-like, and long strands of his hair tumbled in the process. His one eye was beginning to betray the fact that even now, it was going blind. Foggy and bluish-white, but just slightly. Eventually that color would dominate his pupil, though it would take several more weeks. The smile faded, even though it was clear he was trying to convey some type of emotion. Above all else, there was confusion. “I don’t know,” the creature said quietly. “His heart says one thing and his head says another.” His eyes turned up to the scarred man. “You’re the same way.”
I won't lie no more you can bet
I don't want to learn what I'll need to forget
[/html]
[html]
Frequently, people made things more complicated than they needed to be. Laruku could be counted amongst them, but sometimes, things really were just complicated, or it was difficult to say whether they were or if it was someone's fault after all. He did not understand himself. He had tried and it hadn't worked out, so he didn't bother anymore except that it was so disorienting and troublesome not to know very much about oneself. Tattered ears flattened against his head when the other's smile vanished. He knew they were the same in many ways (it had been the same with Tsunami), but that was not reassuring to any degree. The hybrid could draw a thousand similarities between the two of them and with the grey wolf, but if that was to indicate towards a similar relationship, then the standstill they found themselves at was the best thing they could do.
He didn't want anything to be the same, even if it was the only familiar thing he had left. He didn't want them to be the same. There were so many things wrong with that. What do you say? Maybe this creature didn't know why, but what did he think? Before, Laruku felt like he was talking to someone who'd taken a truth serum, but now he was asking its opinion.
[/html]
[html]
THE THINGS THAT I'VE LOVED
______THE THINGS THAT I'VE LOST
THE THINGS I'VE HELD SACRED
______________THAT I'VE DROPPED
_____ For a creature who could remember a thousand lives (for each time he woke he was someone else), he could have said a thousand things. He had been able to do magic once, and he would be able to do so again, someday. He had remembered about the drugs, which was how Ahren had known about the drugs. He remembered the fire and how it worked. He remembered the touch of a woman. He remembered the feel of cold steel against his skull. He remembered these and a hundred other things, and yet emotions still puzzled him. Humans and animals were curious creatures; neither fully evolved enough to comprehend what they felt and thought.
_____ His eyes sharpened and his mouth twisted at the corners, grinning. “I know where he has put you,” the demon (who was far greater then that) offered without explanation. “It’s Ryoujoku that concerns us,” he added.
I won't lie no more you can bet
I don't want to learn what I'll need to forget
[/html]
[html]
Laruku did not know what the creature meant, really, but did not question it. After all, wasn't he already cheating by asking at all (who'd made the rules and how he was breaking them, he didn't know, but it still felt strange and awkward being there speaking with whoever it was that was there that wasn't Ahren). He visibly flinched at Ryoujoku's name though. It was true that he'd become high strung and paranoid, and though he knew that the other knew about his unfortunate condition, he had been unaware (or had forgotten) that the exact name of the voice in his head had been known (it wasn't like he had been the one to divulge it). And it wasn't a name he liked hearing outloud. Vocalizing anything made it more real and sometimes, he was still in denial (because lying made things easier).
He's unpredictable, the hybrid admitted softly, But I don't think he's ever going to go away. Even now, there was laughter in his head, reinforcing the idea. At the end of the story, Dr. Jekyll never did vanquish his monster. There was only death. But here, he'd failed that enough times to stop trying.
[/html]
[html]
THE THINGS THAT I'VE LOVED
______THE THINGS THAT I'VE LOST
THE THINGS I'VE HELD SACRED
______________THAT I'VE DROPPED
_____ He knew the name because of the boy. He had Ahren and Ahren saw the line. The name was power, but the name was a lie. Ryoujoku and Laruku were all too close to the same person. The blonde monster drew rolling paper from the pouch and meticulously began to form a cigarette. It was guided meditation that his eyes remained focused on and his hands worked with the only skill the boy had not lost. He was not a warrior; he was not a hunter—he could survive only because of the other (the demon, the dragon, the sorcerer) and because of his own will to live.
_____ The cigarette was brought to his mouth and he tilted his head slightly, hair falling over the ruined eye. “No,” the voice agreed. “I don’t think he will.” He exhaled, sending smoke into the air, his weight shifting as one foot curled towards his body. The earth was pulling and pushing all at once, but on the ground, it felt as if he was sinking in.
I won't lie no more you can bet
I don't want to learn what I'll need to forget
[/html]
|
