to feel the suns warmth

Cypress · 04-05-2011, 11:31 AM

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occgoodnessss

Cypress wanted nothing more than to find something, anything to prove that winter was fading and spring was here at last. He had grown tired of the blanket of white that had been so prominent in recent months. Sure if one looked closely the grass had started to turn greener and the trees had began to bud, but it wasn't enough. He wanted something specific, something that spoke undeniably of spring.

He found eventually. On a warm hill side bathed in the warm sun light. It was only a single bloom. The first of the season. It was small and its fragrance was light. But it spoke of spring and it was the proof he had needed. Exactly what he had been looking for. With its location marked out in his mind the sable boy rushed home to gather what few things he needed before returning to the first bloom of spring.

His task had left him no choice but to take on his two legged form. Knowing that if he were to do his task properly and without harm to the delicate prize he would need the hands such a form gave him. So he final return home was slower, much slower than the first. Each step taken with through utmost care as he held the freshly potted plant between brown, dirt covered hands.

By the time he reached the manor his arms and shoulders ached from carrying it, but he had made it without tripping or dropping the precious bloom. He took a deep breath of relief once he made it through through the threshold. Though it would be too early, for with his very next step the youth tripped. Falling forward he did his best to save the pot in his out stretched hands. But has he landed, and with a heavy thud himself, the pot shattered. Cracked in half and in a few other prices dirt scattered the floor. Horror and grief washed over his face as he took in the scene. He had failed. Failed at even the simplest of tasks. No...no. The words came softly at first, but as his disappointment turned to anger and frustration the word grew louder and he pounded his fists against the floor. No. No. No! Climbing to his feet he grabbed hold of a large piece of the broken pot. With all his might he threw it across the room to shatter against the wall.

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Anu · 04-05-2011, 12:14 PM

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thank you for starting! <3 great idea :3

There had been a brisk wind in the air in the early hours of the late winter day. It had touched her skin, and Anu had retreated to the walls of the house after she had taken her early walk through the ground of Haven Manor. It was customary for her to wander through the barren gardens and the lifeless orchard each day, now that there was small signs of life returning to it. She could hardly wait for the soil to soften and for her hands to be among the fresh nutritious dirt. The older fey thought of many things she could plant this year, always thinking of something different. But, knowing the woman she would plant the same hearty flowers that were natural for the area.

She had found a book though most of the words were lost to her for she did not read, but Anu looked at the pictures. Blue sky-hued eyes looked at the faded illustrations, naming the blossoms as she knew them and turning the pages gently.

Calm thoughts were interrupted, the sound of the front door breaking her concentration and causing her ears to turn in its direction. The woman sat in the living room, by the fire and with her back to the growing noise. It was the scent of her own Cypress that made her rise from her seat, her nose still in her book but her intention focused on greeting him. But, he was talking to another and Anu slowed her pace. Her eyes rose at the tone of his voice and then when she rounded the corner the mother watched as her son, with a face twisted with fury, throw the clay against the wall.

There was shock on her own features, mouth agape and a gasp in her throat. She was silent, words lost to her completely. There was a mess on the floor, things scattered across the entryway but she could not look away from Cypress' face.

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Cypress · 04-16-2011, 12:54 PM

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occgoodnessss

A low growl rumbled in his chest as it filled with anger. Watching they clay splinter against the wall had been satisfying, releasing some of the pent up aggression he felt bubbling under the surface. He wanted more. To feel that release and the odd satisfaction it brought. He turned, foot preparing to scatter the pile of fresh, black dirt with an anger filled kick. Unaware, yet, that he was being watched.

Though when it came time for that foot to swing forward and strike it's target, it fell short. Whether it was the small little bloom still sitting atop the spilt soil or the look of horror on his mother's face that halted his assault, he could not say. Though he could not pull his eyes away from the disappointed look on his mother's face. His ears flattened tight against his skull, bristling hackles fell flat and his once erect tail tucked itself tightly against his thigh. "Momma.." She might as well as slapped him for the way he shrank before her, eyes falling to his feet that shuffled oddly.

This wasn't what he had wanted. Not at all. He had wanted to bring her the first bloom of spring. Thinking it would bring a smile to her face. That was all he had wanted, to make his mother smile. To see her happy after a winter that had seemed filled with nothing but sorrow. But he couldn't even do that without ruining everything. "I..I was..I just, he swallowed hard. What could he say? Would it matter now what his first intention had been? I'm sorry momma, I'll clean this up." Unable to meet her eyes and once again see the disappointment she held for him, he kneeled down. Clumsily fingers began to gather up pieces of the broken pot.

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Anu · 04-19-2011, 06:52 PM

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<333

There had not been a true moment of disappointment felt by the mother while she thought of her sons, not until now. Had she raised her dark furred Cypress to react with such fury? The mother had never taught her three to meet any troubles with such anger and frustration. She didn’t know how to react, wondering what it was that she was supposed to say to his anger twisted face. Words were lost to her.

When he looked to her it faded, the anger weakening its hold of him and letting him slip free. She watched as his ears fell, eyes no longer sharp with rage but softened and wide. Her instincts were not immune to the display, and she felt stated and eased by his submissive stance. But it did not erase the confusion that she felt from his explosive reaction.

He knew it was wrong, just as he had taught him, to meet a challenge with violence. Still Anu didn’t understand. The woman didn’t speak, watching him move to the floor and as his fingers moved to pick up the broken pieces she came to the floor as well. Meeting him on the same level and picking the thin fragile stem from the dark dirt. He was taller then she, though he was not at the same height as either Oak or Alder. There was silence, her eyes watching the blossom as it moved between her fingers.

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Cypress · 04-27-2011, 02:00 PM

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occgoodnessss

As fingers worked slowly at gathering up the shards of the shattered pot Cypress' eyes never left the floor. Unable and unwilling to seek his mother's eyes. She didn't need to say anything for he knew she was disappointed in him. Of coarse she would be. He was not the gentle, kind son she had raised him to be. Not when his anger flared. It was a side of him he had hoped his mother would never have to see, but it was too late now.

The anger that had manifested itself in his tantrum had vanished from the surface. For once he had no one else to blame but himself. No other focus for his anger but himself and so it had turned inward. It ate at him, turning into a feeling of self loathing. He gritted his teeth as he tried to ignore the feeling and push it away. Trying to focus all his attention on the task of cleaning up the mess he created and to forget the burning emotion at his core.

His fingers halted as Anu reached for the little plant with its dainty little bloom. His eyes followed it but refused to raise as far as her face. "Its the first bloom...I wanted to bring it to you." His voice was quite, hardly more than a whisper. It wouldn't matter now what he had tried to do. It couldn't change the end result.

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Anu · 05-03-2011, 08:56 AM

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The mother was far from perfect, and she needed to remind herself that no matter how she had taught him in the past Cypress would be his own being. He was not just of her, but another and the woman knew that the mix would create something unique and beautiful. Even volatile at times. His anger would be tamed, in the years to come. Anu repeated that to herself more then once as she looked at the flower. His hushed tone flowing to her ears, reminding her that he was not yet the wolf that he would be for the rest of his life. He was hardly the age of the blossom in her hand. The collected Dreamer had felt the strings of her heart being pulled, the weakness that the organ threatening to unravel if she was not careful. Instead of letting her disappointment peal away the layers of her love for her son she fought the battle to be understanding.

Come Cypress. She spoke, finally, as she rose to her foot-paws. She looked to his face, a hand extending to help him rise from the floor and go with her. Her eyes no longer holding the threats of her tears, but she did not smile at him nor look with a comforting gaze.

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Cypress · 05-19-2011, 10:05 AM

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:x sorry for the wait and suckiness of this post

The look of shock and horror on his mother's face at witnessing his fit of rage was etched in his mind. He never would have wished for her to look at him in such a way and now he was sure he would never forget it. It was a lesson he should have learned with Alder. The damage that his anger could do, but his brothers tears had not been as effective as the threat of tears in his mother's eyes. For he had felt that Alder had deserved the harsh words he had spoken. Anu on the other hand, he had wished to lighten her sorrows, not add to them.

As his anger at himself festered it caused the youth to feel smaller and smaller, and his heart heavier as his focus once again returned to piling up scattered pieces of clay and mounding the spilt dirt. She had yet to speak and her silence seemed almost deafening. Words came at last as she got back to her feet, beckoning him. Cypress looked up from the floor, first to his mother's face and then to the offered hand. Quickly dusting the loose dirt from his hands, he reached for hers and gave it an apologetic squeeze. Putting no strain on the offered hand that he clutched gently, Cypress used only his own strength to get to his own clumsy foot-paws.

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Anu · 05-27-2011, 09:26 AM

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im slow too, & PP... i can change if you'd like Wink

With his hand in hers Anu moved to the door.

She had led him in such a way when he was just a pup, nothing more then two months. He had not liked it, when she took him into her mouth by the nap of his neck But the mother had known best and she stayed diligent until he lay limp. Now he came with her without a fight and followed as she had taught him to. Her sons could be leaders, they were strong wolves with good hearts. But she had taught them the necessary lessons that reminded them that to honor ones self was to respect their leaders. She had taught them to be humble.

Outside there was a hint of Spring and a tinge of Winter in the air. She led him to a spot she often adorned with flowers later in the season. The soil was soft here, the sun bright. Anu turned, to face the taller wolf. She put her hands out, the soil and small bloom cupped within them. Plant it here. She said simply, waiting for him to take the plant from her. When he did Anu moved to the ground to watch over his work. Not too deep, lightly pat it around. She spoke with a gentle tone. It will need water. Haul it from the spring, it should be fresh. He tone was not harsh but clear and informative.

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Cypress · 06-08-2011, 01:11 PM

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occgoodnessss

He followed his tawny mother silently, obediently. His head hung low as he followed slightly behind the smaller wolf. Much like the scolded child he felt he was, even though in just a few short months he would be a year old. His tail was no longer pressed tightly against the back of his thigh as it had been not long ago, though the appendage was still far from lax. Blue eyes never left the ground; watching the placement of every step his foot paws took so that just maybe he wouldn't stubble.

His thoughts turn inward as he blindly followed. Thinking of what he had done and the scene of rage his gentle mother had witnessed from him. He had known it was wrong, but that had not stopped him. When he felt the fury building in his chest it was as if his control slipped. The tighter he tried to grip, suppress it, and bottle it deep inside the stronger it bubbled forth. It time he would learn to calm it, to sooth the feeling away with a deep breath and a clear mind, but for now the boy was lost within the maze of his own confused and mingled emotions. He did not have the slightest clue were to begin; what steps he could take to better know himself.

It wasn't a long walk to the familiar flower bed. Anu's soft voice breaking Cypress away from his own thoughts. He nodded compliantly, taking the delicate young plant gingerly in his own cupped palms before kneeling down. Clawed fingers easily worked through the soft earth to make hole just large enough for the blossoming plant. Blue eyes looked to the face of his mother for approval before he placed the plant and filled in around, lightly tamping the soil as instructed. For the moment it seemed Cypress had lost his voice as he wordlessly got to his feet with another nod and dusted off his knees. Fetching first a watering can and then the needed water from the spring. He gave only as much water as he thought the little plant would need, having already learned from his mother at some point that too much could be just as damaging as not enough. Unsure of where that line lay, lacking experience to truly know, he once again looked to him mother. Had he at least not failed at this? "Do you..," his voice cracked, and he cleared his throat. "Do you know what kind of flower it is?" He had learned a few of his plants and trees, for how could he not? But he did not know them all and this particular one was unknown to him.

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Anu · 06-10-2011, 12:16 PM

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<3 cypcyp

The mother watched, in silence that she found particularly soothing. Perhaps she should have yelled, meeting anger head on with an equally passionate emotion. But that was not the way of the gray woman, no she would kill his anger with an emotion that was just as powerful. Calm, it could be felt to those that looked for it and those that accepted it it was just as moving as rage may be. Anu settled onto the ground, her legs crossed in front of her and watched as her son worked. He was sad, shamed by his lack of control and by the anger that welled inside. Her dark features spoke of this, easily read along their lines.

He patted the soil, water the roots and then his voice rose to question her. The blue eyes looked at his face, a soft smile speaking the pleasure she found in his job, Its a Violet. She replied, the small bits of blue revealing its species to the aged gardener. They were common, popping up in fields beside buttercups and dandelions. Sit with me Cypress. She spoke, a request or a command how ever he wished to see it. You look so much like your father. She commented, a smile coming to her face and even making her miss the Inferni hybrid. But you have my eyes, I don't know how, but you do. She paused, looking for the water hued orbs that she had given him before his birth.

You do not need to hate your anger. But you must learn to sooth and control it. She waited for him to speak, willing to listen and ready to know what it was that bothered him.

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Cypress · 06-23-2011, 10:23 AM

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occgoodnessss

His mother gave a soft, approving smile as he asked for the name of the plant and his tail thumped lightly against the back of his leg. His dropped ears perking a little. Seeing his mother smile brought the first signs of a smile to the boy’s face. After it all, his mother's smile had been all he had wanted in the first place.

He quietly seated himself in the grass next to his gray mother. Noticing that his anger had managed to fade away as he had focused on the task she had given him. It was hard to say if it had been the work or the calming presence of his mother that had driven it away. Either way it was gone and Cyp finally felt at ease at his mother's side. His grin grew as she spoke of his resemblance to his father. Something he was secretly quite proud of. They all had her eyes, by some miracle, but only Cypress held close resemblance to his father. Though Alder did share a few of the darker tones that their absent sire held and oak shared the black tip of his tail. He had only met the Inferni leader once, when he had brought he and his brothers a couple of antlers. They had become marred with the markings of their teeth, but Cypress had treasured the gift at the time. He wished to know more of his father. Often wandering how different life might be in his lands as opposed to that of the Dreamers. But he didn't ask about the man he knew so little of, not yet.

Cypress found it hard to look at his mother as she spoke again of his anger, but her eyes to his and he held the gaze. Despite the feel of shame burning his cheeks. "I just.." he quickly grew frustrated, unable to find the words that matched what he was feeling and had felt. "I don't know how. The hard I try the more it builds." His lack of control bothered him. His eyes dropped to the ground and his hands once folded neatly in his lap clenched in fists. "It feels like its trying to rip its way through my body...I..I don't know what I'm suppose to do. What I can do." He swallowed hard, emotions swirling within him as he confessed. Sadness and shame. He should be better than this.

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Anu · 06-28-2011, 09:24 AM

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one more reply and then close?

It had been so long since her adolescence, and since a time where she even had the energy to become so enthralled in rage. It was easier to be calm, in her placid water eyes. But she could understand his feelings and appreciate the hardship. Anu had not expected her sons to join her in this world without trials, and as calm as she had grown to be. It took years, and even in the last few years Anu had know true anger. To say that the root of his would be easily plucked as a weed might be was foolish. Cypress needed time, for the seed of his true honorable nature only needed to be nurtured and cared for.

She listened, and nodded at his frustrations. You look like your father but you have my eyes. She repeated, he had it within himself to be better. But it would take him years to find his true self just as it had taken them all years to do so. Find an outlet for your energy Cypress, do not let it build and stir inside you. Give it to the hunt, sacrifice it to the patrol. Left idle it is only searching for a spark. Perhaps while you seek theses things you will find your passion and purpose. Then that will grown and live inside, rather then the anger. She could see that he looked for more, needed beyond what she could give him now. It was time, they would be a year before the summer came and it would be time for he and his brothers to become the wolves that they would be the rest of their days.

It is not easy, but you can do as I ask. I have loved you always Cypress. She reminded him. Her love would not safe him from being engulfed by anger, but Anu had confidence in him and she knew he would find what it would take to extinguish it.

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Cypress · 07-03-2011, 04:55 PM

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occgoodnessss

Cypress trusted his mother. Believed in the bits of wisdom she often shared with him and his brothers. For the first time he felt doubt in her words. She made it sound so easy, too easy. He did not believe that she could know what the boiling anger felt like, a monster trying to crawl through his skin. It was rare for his tawny mother to so much as raise her voice, so how could she know the scorching heat of the rage, least of all how to control it. But for her he would try. For it was true that the boy seldom did much with his day. He often let the time float by leisurely rather than putting himself to some use in service to the pack. The youth simply nodded along to the advice of his mother, hiding his skepticism. ”I’ll try Momma, I hope you are right.” It was not a lie, for Cypress hoped conquering his anger could be as simply as putting his mind and body to purpose.

”I love you too, Momma.” The boy smiled softly, leaning over and giving his mother a gentle lick on her cheek, near the line of her jaw. ”And I always will.”

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